The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

cakeadoodle

Hi folks, I wonder if I might ask for a bit of advice, to see if your experience matches mine?

After over 2.5 years of actively ttc (and about 6 years of no contraception) we finally saw an NHS Dr at the sub fertility clinic today. I'm 35 and my OH is 39. I don't know what I expected - a scan maybe, or some tests? She just confirmed the information that the Dr had already gathered, said she didn't need bloods as she was happy that all blood tests had been done, and asked my OH to provide a new sperm analysis (his last one was January and his count was around 30% lower than average). The bloods were done by the Dr last September and they were content that I have ovulated. I'm fairly sure I am as I have regular periods and I do get the peaks using the CBFM (I know thats not an exact science but what I mean is that there are no irregularities in my monthly cycle that they seem to be concerned about).

I asked what was next for me and she said if the semen analysis came back the same we would go on the IVF waiting list - currently 2 years.

Is this normal? I would have thought they would want to at least have a look down there to be sure everything is as it should be. I suppose I'm a bit worried that we might wait all that time for IVF and then discover there's actually an issue with me that was unidentified.

I could have cried when she said at least 2 years after getting on the list - this means we won't even get to start until I'm at least 38. Sorry if I'm being an insensitive moan, the hormones are raging today! I'm just so unfamiliar with what's 'normal' for fertility treatment and what isn't, and we haven't told a soul that we were even trying so I can't really discuss it with anyone!

Primmer

Cake - I had blood tests and DH had SA at doctors all of which was ok, then referred to fs and she said that they would do a hsg to test if my tubes were blocked but that either way after 3 yrs of ttc with no success she would recommend ivf whatever the result of the test due to age. I was 38 when saw fs. We don't qualify for ivf funding in our area due to age and so went private and there was no waiting list. It could be that fs needs to refer you for ivf now to meet funding criteria on your area or it could be to ensure you can get ivf before you are 40. In terms of other fertility treatment they can give meds to help ovulate but as blood tests don't indicate problem that would be why it was not recommended for you. I would suggest you ask if you could have hsg whilst on waiting list if you want to check your tubes. Hope that helps x

Legacy

Hi ladies, well I've de-lurked (gosh, that sounds so seedy!) to give Primmer my absolute best of luck.

I'm in a similar position - TTC for about 10 years now, (me: 29 pcos, him: 42 no issues), gone from a BMI of 43 down to 26, done 3 rounds of x 6 months of clomid 150mg, currently going through our first IVF (NHS wales), had egg collection on Monday (19 eggs) and a 5 day blastocyst transfer (just one but grade 5AA) on Saturday at midday. We had 6 frozen embys. We're now on the dreaded 2ww too and taking Cyclogest pessaries (alternating between my *ahem* toosh and my twingo). I have no symptoms... which does concern me, but with my two previous pregnancies (both ended in mc) i didnt get any symptoms until after the missed period. I've had 3 days on almost bedrest.. mainly for my own sanity. I couldn't bear to do something wrong at this stage when we've gone through so much to get this far.

We get 2 rounds of nhs ivf and storage of embys for 1 year in Wales (after that storage is £175 per year) but no FET's on NHS. We were very fortunate in that although we've been receiving fertility treatment for a very long time, once we were advised to go for IVF, it only took 6 weeks until we started our injections.

I just wish I felt more positive about this round of treatment. We were so fortunate to end up with fab quality embies, but I just feel like my useless "innards" are going to let them down. our test day is Thursday 27th.

Chickpea - lol @ your hubby
TTC40 - romance and dignity goes out the windows sometimes with fert treatment.. I'm so used to going into the hospital, whipping my bottom half off and reclining legs-a-kimbo on the bed that I had to stop myself doing just that when going for a hearing check at the hospital the other day!

Lots of love and luck to all xxxx

Primmer

Legacy - welcome out of lurkdom! I wish you all the luck with your treatment. Try to be positive you had a great quality embies! Fingers crossed we will both have something to celebrate soon!

EverTheOptimist

cakeadoodle wrote: »

Hi folks, I wonder if I might ask for a bit of advice, to see if your experience matches mine?

After over 2.5 years of actively ttc (and about 6 years of no contraception) we finally saw an NHS Dr at the sub fertility clinic today. I'm 35 and my OH is 39. I don't know what I expected - a scan maybe, or some tests? She just confirmed the information that the Dr had already gathered, said she didn't need bloods as she was happy that all blood tests had been done, and asked my OH to provide a new sperm analysis (his last one was January and his count was around 30% lower than average). The bloods were done by the Dr last September and they were content that I have ovulated. I'm fairly sure I am as I have regular periods and I do get the peaks using the CBFM (I know thats not an exact science but what I mean is that there are no irregularities in my monthly cycle that they seem to be concerned about).

I asked what was next for me and she said if the semen analysis came back the same we would go on the IVF waiting list - currently 2 years.

Is this normal? I would have thought they would want to at least have a look down there to be sure everything is as it should be. I suppose I'm a bit worried that we might wait all that time for IVF and then discover there's actually an issue with me that was unidentified.

I could have cried when she said at least 2 years after getting on the list - this means we won't even get to start until I'm at least 38. Sorry if I'm being an insensitive moan, the hormones are raging today! I'm just so unfamiliar with what's 'normal' for fertility treatment and what isn't, and we haven't told a soul that we were even trying so I can't really discuss it with anyone!

Obviously i guess it is dependent on your area, but we didnt have to wait that long. We were referred to fertility specialist by the GP, who did vaginal scans for a couple of months running and when it looked like i was about to ovulate, hubby and I got at it. this was whilst we were waiting for the HSG to check my tubes. im sure that was the Oct. He was also happy with my bloods, but i think i had them done again anyway.

We then had to have the Hepatitis and HIV jabs, checked for Chlamydia etc, that was in the Jan. We were referred for fertilty treatment at a private clinic but funded by the NHS. We started IUI around the April time, so i think 1 year from going to the GP. Had 3 funded IUI's, they couldnt find anything wrong with either of us, but all 3 IUI's were negative. Our 1st IVF was about 18 months after seeing the GP but we were having other treatments in that time, so it didnt feel like nothing was happening.

I presume you are going straight to IVF as with a lower sperm count there is little point trying the IUI.

I'm not sure if there is much you can do about the waiting list, but i would check to see if you will still be entitled to funded cycles after waiting that long. we also considered going private, but were told we would lose our funded cycles if we did that.

Really sorry to hear you are having to wait, as if it isnt hard enough having to go through treatment for the one thing you really want, to then be told you have to wait that long.

EverTheOptimist

Good luck Legacy.

miss_hh

I have got to the top of the IVF waiting list for ICIS IVF. I have my 1st app at the fertility clinic on Monday. Im getting blood screening tests done. Does anyone know what I can expect from my1st visit?

mess0804

I got a letter from the GP that the specialist refered me to Chlamydia and Rubeola tests. Is this the normal ? (I went to the GP today and I have to take 2 times off work as one is with the nurse and one is a blood test... grrr)
I have to do my tubes scan next month and I have the second meeting with the specialist in november? Do you know how long the waiting list are in London?
If it's 2 years I think I will go abroad for IVF next year, I am 33, but I just can't wait for so much time, i get depressed, I am not a normal person lately...

TTC40

CD15 here & no sign of ov on digi OPKs.:mad:

I know I'm probably lucky as I have quite regular cycles, but last month I did first OPK on CD12 & got a smiley face so this month I decided to start testing on day 10 to make sure I saw it. Strange logic I know as it's fine to get it on first day of testing!

I've now run out of tests so will have to buy some more today. I have some ICs but prefer to be clear with a smiley face.

Have BD'd every day since Monday - will try to keep going with this! OH has had a couple of nights away so we've had to do some early morning activity before he has gone away a couple of times - neither of us were really bothered about it !

Have a good weekend everyone - more BDing for us!

Primmer

Mess - those tests have to be done when being referred to fertility specialist so don't worry. You are going to have to get used to appointments and time off work but annoying that nurse can't do both tests at same time! No idea of waiting lists. If private there shouldn't be a waiting list and a lot of nhs don't have much of a waiting list either do I wouldn't panic just yet.

MissH - first appointments probably vary from clinic to clinic. At mine there was an open evening with other couples where a doctor and embryologist explained the procedure. Then at first appointment we saw a nurse who explained everything and took us through all the consent forms we had to complete. We then had another appointment where they did a scan to check your ovaries and a mock egg transfer so they could see how it works for you. Hope that helps.

TTC40 - how annoying! Hope you can keep ip the bding and that ov is not far away.