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The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

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  • Hi, I just thought I would post this for you incase you hadnt seen it.
    http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/507581/clearblue-digital-pregnancy-tests-p
    The two best things I have done with my life
    :TDD 5/11/02 :j DS 17/6/09 :T
    STOPTOBER CHALLANGE ... here we go !!
  • MadMac_2
    MadMac_2 Posts: 1,173 Forumite
    Lilo, that sounds like quite an appointment! Why do they always have to scare you so much and don't even realise they are doing it! But I have to say your consultant sounds like a really good one and I'll be cheering you on all the way. Well done, how exciting!

    Ginvzt, I hope your doctor surgery is quicker and getting results than it is at updating its records! Never ceases to amaze, does it. Oh well, woohoo! Smear over with and long weekend ahead for you, time to celebrate!

    SkintMonkey, many of us can sympathise with the low feelings you are having and I know just where you're coming from regarding the sex issue. But I'm in the later camp as I'm already 38 (38! How old! I can't be! - that's me talking to myself when I look in the mirror every morning) and tick tock tick tock, time is rapidly running out. Cannot say the pressure eases, but you just learn to juggle with it as best you can. Hang in there and your time will come when you least expect it, here's hoping, x

    Sarahs999, you did make me smile! Ah, the emotional roller coaster of TTC and hormones, what fun!! Hope you feel a bit more even soon and best of luck for next Tuesday, we'll await news, x
  • Thanks madmac, I think she was just making sure that we knew what we were in for before proceeding, because it is significantly high risk compared to usual IVF because of the surgery - there is more that can go wrong! She is an absolutely superb lady, I would trust her with my life. She gave me a big hug yesterday, because she was so pleased at the outcome of my treatment and how well I looked (Obviously I had dressed the part, because I was not confessing to the depression) I know that if it is humanly possible, she will do it - but also trust her that if she says that it cant be done, or it is time to stop - that that is really the right thing to do.

    I really strongly feel that the service she offers should be available on the NHS, rather than private, as it is personal and tailored to the individual and not all about IVF. And she hasnt even charged me for yesterdays consultation!

    Ginvzt, glad the smear went well. Dont get me on the subject though - I have just had a letter from my health authority inviting me to a follow up smear with my doctor, and how important it was after having an abnormal one. Picture the scene if you will, me opening a letter and then shouting at it - you stupid idiots, I have had cancer I have no cervix left and I have check ups every 3 months - get it right (but there was swearing in the real version)!!! what a bunch of idiots.

    Sarahs999 :naughty: for not losing weight!!!!:rotfl::rotfl: Know what you mean about the emotional bits - cry away, shows you care! Good luck for the appointment on Tuesday.

    Lilo
    Live on £4000 a year again for 2011
  • ginvzt
    ginvzt Posts: 4,878 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Ginvzt, glad the smear went well. Dont get me on the subject though - I have just had a letter from my health authority inviting me to a follow up smear with my doctor, and how important it was after having an abnormal one. Picture the scene if you will, me opening a letter and then shouting at it - you stupid idiots, I have had cancer I have no cervix left and I have check ups every 3 months - get it right (but there was swearing in the real version)!!! what a bunch of idiots.

    Lilo, I don't know how many hands NHS have (more likely none!!!), but they obviously don't know what others are doing!!! I don't know would be left of the letter or the house if I was in your shoes!!!!

    Oh - it seems I managed to 'time' my test - the last one was done 20/10/2006...
    Spring into Spring 2015 - 0.7/12lb
  • Thanks madmac, I think she was just making sure that we knew what we were in for before proceeding, because it is significantly high risk compared to usual IVF because of the surgery - there is more that can go wrong! She is an absolutely superb lady, I would trust her with my life. She gave me a big hug yesterday, because she was so pleased at the outcome of my treatment and how well I looked (Obviously I had dressed the part, because I was not confessing to the depression) I know that if it is humanly possible, she will do it - but also trust her that if she says that it cant be done, or it is time to stop - that that is really the right thing to do.

    I really strongly feel that the service she offers should be available on the NHS, rather than private, as it is personal and tailored to the individual and not all about IVF. And she hasnt even charged me for yesterdays consultation!

    Ginvzt, glad the smear went well. Dont get me on the subject though - I have just had a letter from my health authority inviting me to a follow up smear with my doctor, and how important it was after having an abnormal one. Picture the scene if you will, me opening a letter and then shouting at it - you stupid idiots, I have had cancer I have no cervix left and I have check ups every 3 months - get it right (but there was swearing in the real version)!!! what a bunch of idiots.

    Sarahs999 :naughty: for not losing weight!!!!:rotfl::rotfl: Know what you mean about the emotional bits - cry away, shows you care! Good luck for the appointment on Tuesday.

    Lilo

    Hi Lilo

    You probably don't remember I posted about 6 months - but I had the same op as you did. I had mine 5 years ago. We are now on the treatment trail and I am currently on a waitlist to have alterations to my previous surgery.

    Basically, we went for a hycosy (months ago) but the consultant couldn't get the tube through (btw I'm rubbish on all the technical terms) as the opening was too small. Lots of tooing and froing of questions between Southampton (fetility) and Barts (gynae oncology) and they have said they can't go through the abdomen to look at my tubes because of having my lymph nodes removed to check cancer hadn't spread but I need to have the stitch dilated under anaesthetic. This will be a permanent thing which would mean IVF was also possible (consultant said he wouldn't have been able to do that either as opening was so small) but may cause complications when eventually fall but will cross that bridge WHEN we come to it.

    I went to Barts last week for my 5 year check up and I'm still clear but I'm now on yearly visits - they said because I was one of the first to have it they need to check me for 10 years in total so I'm halfway there. But they also said that it was very common with this surgery for the opening to be too small for the fertility procedures.

    Just thought it was worth mentioning as there doesn't seem to be much advice around generally for when you don't have a cervix.

    Oh, and I also got a letter from my docs saying I needed a smear, so I'm with you on that one.

    Just for info, I'm 35 and we've been ttc for 3 years but I seriously think our lifestyle is playing a huge part - my BMI is 33 (down from 38 so far), I confess to drinking far more than I should, DH smokes and also drinks too much. I gave up smoking 16 months ago (hasn't helped with the weight!!) and now have a personal trainer so I'm working on myself - any hints on how to work on hubby would be most gratefully received.

    Anyway, now I've bored the pants off you.

    Good luck to you all - I'll probably post in another 6 months.
    xxxx
    AFD May 8/15
  • Thanks Nadine, I must admit I did think of you and what you had said, and I was pleased that Geeta wanted to do a trial run before we go ahead. She is prepared to try all the variables which helps, and I hope I am one of the lucky ones. Some of the additional risks of IVF relate to the lack of lymph glands, and I dont think she wants to put the needle in for embryo transfer, but is prepared to look at all options. I know we have to avoid all unnecessary surgery because of the lymphodoema risk, but I already have that!!

    Good luck with the stitch dilation when it happens.

    As for changing ohs? well I dont have any help really. Fortunately my hubby chose to lose weight for himself for health reasons - but I think I would try and do it in a sneaky way - avoid situations involving alcohol as much as possible, and cook healthier options. Once he sees your weight coming off, which you are already doing a good job of, he may start to do it himself anyway (heres hoping)

    But dont leave it another 6 months, pull up a chair, put on the kettle and join in with the gossip - its nice for me and Shelly to have another survivor to chinwag with!!!

    Lilo
    Live on £4000 a year again for 2011
  • thankfully OH isn't overweight - in fact almost the opposite - I think last time he checked he was 9st (which is better than the 7 1/2st he was when I first met him!).

    I sort of want to tell him to grow up - he's 39 - and take things seriously but also want to be supportive because giving up smoking etc is difficult. He is taking supplements but I think they are probably just counteracting the effects of the bad stuff.#

    I find myself going through waves of almost obsessing about doing everything we possibly can to thinking what the hell. It doesn't help when people say 'don't think about it so much and it will happen' or when the annoying woman I work with who has 2 kids tells me her hubby has super sperm and that I won't be able to do XXX when I have kids - I know I won't but I haven't got them yet and you know my situation!!

    I'm really not stressed honest :-)

    Off home now, trainer at 6 and he's setting me homework!!!
    AFD May 8/15
  • Enjoy your training nadine, dont overdo it!!!

    lilo
    Live on £4000 a year again for 2011
  • Hello Everyone

    I've only posted on here a couple of times but I do lurk and read everyday. I think the reason that I don't post is that we aren't seeking any treatment yet so I don't feel like I have much to contribute.

    Both DH and I have lost weight and DH has finally given up smoking :j. I'm hoping that me losing weight will help my PCOS and that DH giving up smoking will increase our chances .

    Baby Dust to everyone

    TTDB.x.
    Credit Card Debt
    2019 - £7520
    2023 - £1975
    Pay Debt by Xmas #29
  • ginvzt
    ginvzt Posts: 4,878 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Well, I seem to have bitten that 'feeling down' bug... Who spread it?...

    Got a call from a colleague yesterday, he wanted to tell me in person that he will be leaving the company. To go back to the previous one, where we both came from. It made me really sad. I am not very happy here, I loved my previous job, but because of the move 100+ miles away, I had to change the job. I think I am feeling a bit jealous..

    I still have so much to do before the weekend, that I guess tomorrow I will spend the whole day cleaning, cooking/etc. The house looks like a tip, and I can't stand it! So, instead of taking the day easy and enjoying myself, I will be running around cleaning and preparing whatever can be prepared ahead of Saturday for when my friends come. Oh well, it has to be done.

    I've got the peak on CBFM this morning, and I can feel my ovaries, whoever strange it sounds, so I guess it is the ov time again. Will need to 'to get on with the project'. If there is anything left in me after all the housework!!!!
    Spring into Spring 2015 - 0.7/12lb
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