The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

sarahs999

VK - I avoided it for years because I thought it was all the usual 'eat veg, don't smoke' nonsense that we're all sick of hearing. But it's not at all. It's written from the point of view of an immunologist who specialises in obstetrics and women with recurrent miscarriage/IVF failure. Dr Alan Beer worked for 20 years with amazing successes with women who otherwise had been given up on. His theory is that some women's immune systems work too hard, and that their natural killer cells think the developing embryo is a dangerous foreign body, and attack and kill it. He is (was, he is dead now) passionate that the test should be more widely available as he believed that a huge percentage of women who have difficulty getting/holding on to pregnancies are suffering from this. Treatment is with steroids and has a very good success rate.

Link to the book's site here http://babyfriendlybook.com/

I should mention that the medical establishment in general are against this man because of his lack of 'peer reviewed papers'. He addresses the main complaints against him in a large section at the back of the book. Indeed, I was put off getting my natural killer cells tested by both my NHS consultant and by St Mary's. And went through five miscarraiges before I found Dr Shehata (who is quoted by Dr Beer in the book). Can't tell you if it's going to work for me but Dr Shehata is confident. He treated this woman who had 18 miscarriages before meeting him: http://www.metro.co.uk/news/813928-miracle-mother-has-baby-after-18-miscarriages

tinksy

Evening Ladies.

I finally have my scan date for next thursday so hopefully my fertility appointment will appear soon as well. It says its an abdominal scan on the letter but ive been warned it will probably be an internal one as well they just need you to drink all the water first!!!

jujugaboo

I have read that book too, my acupunturist gave it to me as she suspected I had high levels of NK Cells. It was interesting book but quite detailed to. After reading I had the NK cell test which proved I have very high NK Cells. NHS were not interested in anything that is not normal procedure. My new clinic is much better. Trouble is I have had IVF and used the steroids and still didn't get pregnant but in fact I have never been pregnant. Thats why it might be good news for you sarah.

I am with you all that I feel totally in limbo. I feel so lost at times I am not sure what I am doing but I always put a brave face on because that all you can do.

katenut

Fluffnutter and Jujugaboo, I totally empathise with the 'limbo' feeling, its like you can't plan your life at all, and putting a brave face on it is just about impossible sometimes. I'm starting to feel that every decision we make revolves around having a baby. The other day DH said we need to get a new front porch, and my first reaction was to say 'can we afford that if we have to pay for a full IVF cycle?'. With work I am just ploughing on with my career regardless, as I dont want to be sat here childless in ten years time having missed amazing opportunities. If a baby appears we'll just have to cope, and I'll slow down a bit.

I braved a visit to see my new niece last night (DH wouldnt come with me though - grrrr!!:mad:) and it was actually lovely, and I didnt cry at all! My 3 yr old nephew gave me lots of cuddles, and SIL took the time to ask how we were getting on with the hospital and stuff which was nice considering she had only given birth 2 days ago! At least if I never have a baby of my own, I'll always have a nephew and niece that I adore - I'll just be the cool auntie :-) xx

sarahs999

I'm totally with everyone on the limbo thing. From booking a holiday to changing jobs, just can't do anything. I've been in my bloody job for 10 years, which is about 7 years too long... but want the second maternity leave and never wante dto move to another job because I'd have to work for a year or so before I'd be entitled to maternity, and that seemd to long to wait! Little did I know it would be four years and counting...

katenut

DH's next SA not til early May, so wont see the consultant until mid-May, big sigh :(:( How can there be such a long wait for SA?! My tests were all through within a few weeks.

Booked flights to Spain for a girly weekend away in April though, woooo!! Need something to get me through the next 2 months :-)

Hope you're all enjoying some beautiful spring weather! xxx

Primmer

Agree about being in limbo, my brother, Sil and beautiful niece live in Australia and since niece was born nearly 3 years we have yet to go out and see her. First it was didnt want to spend money on flights if was pg as wouldn't want to fly and now we have been referred to fs it's I don't want to spend the money on flight when might need it for ivf or other treatment.

onestep

Another heartfelt YES to feeling in limbo.. Delayed changing jobs, delayed doing up our annex, delayed lots of things wish we'd started trying for another baby much sooner - DD was 4 before we started trying properly. I was (& am) enjoying her so much I didn't want to rock the boat.. Hindsight makes everything easier.

So we're pushing ahead with refurbing the annex .. Hopefully holiday lets, & should've finished by the end of April. I quit my 'career' just over 2 years ago & now do a little job in a plant nursery. Supposed to reduce my stress levels & aid conception.. & now I'm not stressed about work but more stressed about not conceiving. Waiting for ov here, and not doing anything but temping. Feeling incredibly sad about it all actually. Coming to accept it, but still sad. I'm thinking more & more about fostering, DH not convinced yet.

gettingthereslowly

Totally with you all in the feeling of being in limbo and i feel like ive got a permanent fake smile on my face. Its got to the point that dh asked if im happy every day! Theres only so many times u can laugh or joke about it before u end up in tears :-(

Waiting very impatiently for our referral letter grrr just want to be moving onto the next step.

Got a hol and plenty of other things that im hoping ive wasted my money on booking wink wink

Sending lots of good luck to everyone! Xxxxxxxxxxx

Runnerduck

totally agree, i feel like i have been in limbo for the last 6 years, i now have a dilemma, i have been lucky enough to win a VIP trip to birmingham to meet Gino D'Acampo, the trip consists of going to the bullring to watch him cook, then meeting up with him afterwards, going to enjoy a meal at a top italian restraunt, then a night in the malmison hotel, but my big dilema is it is on the 28th april, EC is scheduled for 23rd april, my friend has said she would come and drive me around so there would be no stress, would you go or not?