The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

katenut

Nicki wrote: »

Ouch katenut. I had something not dissimilar a few months ago when a friend had heard I'd been at the obstetrician's office and congratulated me in front of a large group of people, when in fact I had been there because I was miscarrying .

With your OH, in your shoes, if he wants to wait for another 2 months to see if the results are different, I would be wanting him to be working hard on his health and lifestyle to ensure that his count was as high as it could be for him. So losing weight, if he needs to, cutting out anything which adversely affects sperm count and quality such as caffeine and alchohol and taking some good supplements. Sleep is also very important apparently, and it takes at least 3 months to see an improvement, as this is how long new sperm are in production.

My DS has low motility and high morphology, and we were told that we would not conceive without ICSI. He worked very hard on his lifestyle, including radically changing his diet and taking a cocktail of vitamins daily, and was able to improve things enough for us to conceive naturally. Sadly he has now put all the weight back on, reverted to his unhealthy lifestyle and eating habits, and so we are struggling again with ttc.

Thanks for that nicki, I think you're probably right. Since we first saw the FS DH has been trying to improve his lifestyle and get fitter, and he's taking a long list of supplements! Fingers crossed his next SA will be better.
(I've also been congratulated on my pregnancy several times since the MIL incident - its getting quite comical now!)

Cake4brains wrote: »

I never ever dreamt I would get to say this. I have my BFP! I haven't stopped crying all morning. I just can't believe it. We are doing the rounds to family now. I'm in shock!

:j:j:j:jCongratulations!!!!! :j:j:j:j

jujugaboo wrote: »

Please spread the babydust its good to share.

Had my Zita West consultation and my appt at the clinic. We are having some more blood tests on Monday for both OH and myself to look at our
chromosomes to see if there is some problem there, then if thats all ok we are going to have a FET with the one embie we have got and then if that doesn't work we will probably have one more go (probably the last too) and maybe use fresh sperm this time instead of frozen. I was doing so well till the end of the appt when I burst into tears, what an idiot.

I have been so busy in my new job that it has taken a lot of the time away thinking about IVF.

Glad its not just me that cries at these things! last time i burst into tears then had a nosebleed - the nurses looked a bit shocked! When the nurse asked the doctor if there was anything he could do for nosebleeds he replied with 'sorry, wrong end for me'!!!

Had a bit of an emotional day, SIL gave birth to her second baby today (aww, a mothers day baby!) and I put the phone down after mum rang to tell me and cried for ages. Its such a horrible feeling, not jealousy as such, just total sadness. Anyway, I've got a horrible lurgy so at least I won't have to put myself through a trip to the maternity ward to see them! Gives me a few days to pull myself together before I go and see them at home.

Hope all you lovely ladies have found something nice to do on Mothers Day, I got a card and flowers from my step-son which was really cute :-) Fingers crossed one day we'll all be being spoilt rotten by our future offspring!

Primmer

I got a card and choccy from my doggy today which was nice. Fingers crossed that this time next year we will have something to celebrate.

Katenut - hugs for the sadness which is totally understandable. Hope you get over the lurgy soon.

katenut

Primmer wrote: »

I got a card and choccy from my doggy today which was nice. Fingers crossed that this time next year we will have something to celebrate.

Aww, thats very considerate of your doggy! My ungrateful cats didn't get me anything, and woke me up at 6am demanding breakfast!

jujugaboo

My cats didn't get me anything either!!

Had a bit of an emotional night last night at my best friends husbands 50th. He had a bit of a go at me about not going out with my friends the other night because one of them was pregnant and they are all upset that I didn't go and they all love me so much, blah blah blah. Oh sorry I just had my 4th BFN 3 weeks ago and I didn't really feel like socialising and them asking me lots of questions etc. I mean come on, he had IVF himself with his first wife so I would have thought he would be a bit more understanding. He also said that me and my OH were not fun anymore and whole life is consumed by having a baby, err thats because its the most important thing to us! He means well but I had a few tears, he has offered to help in the baby department by offering his sperm which is very amusing and said that my best friend will carry my baby for me as she thinks so much of me.

All got bit too much and I can't speak to OH about it as he is a bit of a closed book, I now thinking i need counselling as I don't feel I am coping very well.

Off to have £500 blood test tomorrow - fun!!

Sorry for ranting and waffling. x

katenut

Aww jujugaboo, that doesn't sound like a fun party at all!! U can't be blamed for not wanting to go out socialising, putting a brave face on it is very tiring and you have every right to take some time out for yourself. Someone totally impartial might be good to talk too, friends are very well meaning but they can be very insensitive without realising it sometimes! I'm lucky that my best friend is very supportive without being too intruding, but I still didn't feel like I could tell her what a state I got myself in today over my new niece.

Rant and waffle all you like honey, thats what we're here for! xx

Murray

C4B - brilliant news, congratulations! So you could be having twins?? How wonderful! All the best for a healthy and trouble-free 8 months or so xx

Juju - big virtual hugs to you. It never fails to surprise me how tactless well meaning people can be sometimes xx

AF has just left so I'm now at the start of a redundant cycle since I'm booked in for a lap & dye next week - smack bang in the middle of ov time! Oh well, at least things are happening.

QQuaver

Congratulations C4B!:j:j:j
Welcome back SK:wave:
Hugs Juju (((hugs))).
Murray, good luck with your lap & dye:)

As for me, I'm going in for another IVF (just the egg collection), it'll be my 4th (one normal IVF and third 'natural' EC):o

I've been taking three 25mg DHEA tablets/day for about a month now, but I think I'll stop for this cycle (not to confuse IVF):o

I read somewhere that it'll increase estrogen and testosterone, but noticed my E2 levels were exactly the same as from January. I suppose it needs to be taken for 4 months to see the difference:o

Don't know if testosterone has increased or not, hope not, as I read it's not good for those with high testoserone (especially those with PCOS, and I have PCO), but as far as I know, I'm not showing any symptoms for that (oily skin, acne, excess hair):cool:
It wasn't high to begin with though.

Not sure if I should continue or not:huh:
Can't ask my doctor as he's against all supplements:p

sarahs999

Afternoon all. Just been for my second appt with Dr Shehata and have come away feeling quite shaky. Blood results show my natural killer cells are at a normal level, but they are functioning far too aggressively, meaning they kill off any pregnancy thinking it is a dangerous foreign body.. He says that this is the best outcome for him to be able to treat (the other way round, too many NKCs but that are functioning normally, is apparently harder to treat successfully), and that he can definitely help me.

I can't tell you how that feels, after five miscarriages, to be told that someone knows what's wrong with you, that there is a definite cause (something I have believed passionately since the second one), and that they can help you have a baby. It's kind of beyond my dreams. hubby and I went to have coffee afterwards and just savoured the feeling of our world opening up again... all the possibilities ahead of us.

The downside is that I have to take a whole bunch of medication that will probably lead to a big weight gain, which is ironic given how much money I spent to lose the weight to get my BMI normal so I could eliminate that as a factor in my miscarriages. It is my biggest worry at the moment (I'm aware that sounds a bit daft and vain); I gain so easily and generally for my health it is a very bad thing - the blood clotting disorders I have are far more likely to cause me long term problems if I'm overweight. But like I said to DH, we just have to take it one step at a time. He's off to get my medication, and then we can start trying - ovulation due this week! I'm excited, scared and little bit trippy. My gut feeling is that this is the one that will work for us.

chickpea

I bet it will work too Sarah - he sounds like he knows his stuff, fingers crossed the drugs do the job.

+++++

I'm 11dpo, BFN (another £800 down the drain) - so I went into town to cheer myself up and the first sight to assult my vision was a heavily pg chav chain-smoking outside Primark. Brilliant.

Just one of those gloomy days I guess..!

chickpea

QQuaver wrote: »

Not sure if I should continue or not:huh:
Can't ask my doctor as he's against all supplements:p

I'd ditch em. I'm thinking of ditching everything I take, except the folic acid - after 26 odd cycles (maybe more, I haven't counted properly) I guess it's safe to assume none of them actually do anything useful. And if they do do anything, it might do more harm than good, esp while under medical supervision.

Good luck with this round of EC QQ - it must be your time soon..It MUST be!