The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Nicki

I'm glad things are moving forward Primmer.

I know IVF feels like a huge step especially when you haven't explored any of the other options or possibilities first, but I can kind of see where your specialist is coming from. Statistically, if you have IVF in the next few months, your chances of success are quite high. If you leave the decision for a year, then statistically they drop by quite a lot.

http://www.hfea.gov.uk/ivf-success-rate.html

It is quite easy to burn a lot of time on investigations and the early stages of fertility treatment, because you are always waiting for a new cycle before you try something different, so you only have about a dozen, often less, attempts to crack the problem in a year. So whilst it is a massive deal to get your head round, at least thinking about whether this is a possibility for you and something you would be prepared to entertain, is a good idea at this point, so you can fast track the decision if its what you want to do. Hope this comes out the way I mean it!

sneezyboots

Hi,

Finally decided to post after lots of stalking on this thread (Hope you don't mind)
I am 25, OH is 28, been trying for 15 months now.
Plucked up the courage to go to the doctor's 2 weeks ago to ask for help (completely broke down when I was there, doc didn't know what to say ) He basically found a sheet of paper in a file, read every point and we ticked each box apart from the top one "trying to conceive for 2 years" and was basically about to kick us out at the point and said he couldn't refer us for help until then.
Well this is where you lovely people I am hoping will help me. What can/should he do in the meantime?
I was under the impression that he would run tests and stuff and that the 2 year wait was for actual fertility clinic help. I even asked him why the nhs website says to go to the docs after a year if he can't do anything for 2! (He didn't have an answer)
At that point hubby did actually mention to the doc that he had one of his testicles removed in his teens as it became twisted. This sparked doc into a little life and he ordered a SA which we are going in on Friday to discuss the results of...

So, should there be anything else I am asking for or should be happening at this stage as if OH's SA comes back ok I think he will just tell us to wait longer and it is killing me enough as it is.

Thanks in advance for your help x

Primmer

Sneezy - I would ask gp to do blood tests to check you ov the first test is between day 1 and 3 of your cycle and the other test is at day 21. Glad DH is getting SA done as if that shows a problem you shouldn't have to wait for a referral and obviously if all is well it something to tick off the list.

Nicki - thanks for your post, I totally got what you were saying. She told me the chances now and at 40 and I know that means sooner rather than later and we are totally prepared for ivf if necessary but it was hard to hear it as it sounds like our only hope and you always think that it will happen the next cycle without any treatment. It was also good for DH to hear it so bluntly as it made him realise how difficult ttc is.

QQuaver

Sneezy I think in some area it's ttc over 2 years if you are young (under 35 or something). It's great that you are young, but it does mean longer wait:o

Glad your DH is getting his SA done, good luck:)

If it came back normal, then I'd assume you are going to have to wait until you reach the 2 year point, but I'm not sure what will happen if the SA comes back abnormal :huh:

My DH had some hernia op when he was young, and his SA has come back pretty bad, and was told our only option bar a miracle (we had a miracle once that ended in a mc) is ICSI:o

Do you chart your temps?

sneezyboots

Thanks for the replies.

No I don't currently temp. Have considered it but have finally started trying to relax and stop checking for CM and stuff as I figured we were making sure we BD'ed every 2 days during the main 2 weeks anyway so all bases were covered.

I did try the cheap ovulation stick things about month 3-6 of trying but never had any luck with them. I could never do them at the right time though and the instructions said not to drink for so long before hand and I drink water constantly.

Guess we may as well see how the SA comes back before I start thinking about other things.

Thanks for the help, hope you all get some good news soon
(That does sound rather like I am disappearing, I'm not but I do struggle to keep up with this thread which is why I've never posted before so sorry if I miss anything)

jujugaboo

Can someone tell me when a FET takes place in your cycle if you are tyring to do it naturally, my cycle is about 34 days.

Runnerduck

hi, juju my cycle is anywhere from 30 to 34 days, when i have had a fet, i have started the hrt tablets on day 1 of bleed then upped the dosage after five days and again after 9 days then had a scan after 2 weeks, the last time we then had them put back 5 days later, so just over 2 1/2 weeks

an9i77

Hello. I posted here a few weeks ago about maybe not being able to conceive again due to a pre existing condition with my eyes, which could be affected and some of you lovely ladies replied.
Well, sadly my eye condition has got a lot worse, and I am thinking at the moment that it's unlikely we'll be able to go through another pregnancy as I don't know if I can take the risk.
I'm now seriously thinking about adoption, can anyone point me to how to find out more about this? Is it difficult? I'm also wondering if my health condition would count against me, although my partner has no health problems.

Sorry I have not been a regular contributor to this thread but I found it hard to read about people trying, when that's not an option for us right now.

Thanks

epsilondraconis

an9i77, sorry that your eye condition has deteriorated.

The following links about adoption may be a useful starting point:

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Adoptionfosteringandchildrenincare/AdoptionAndFostering/index.htm

http://www.cvaa.org.uk/adopters/vaasearch.php

http://www.baaf.org.uk/ourwork

http://www.adoptionregister.org.uk/site/page.aspx?pid=48

chickpea

Thanks for posting those links Epsilon - might be a route we might pursue too, although I'll prob be too old for that by the time we're done trying!

+++++++

I left an answerphone message with the fertility clinic to arrange next baseline scan and to collect the meds after last failed cycle. The fertility nurse called me back later, all excited: 'So...have you got any news for me..?!' 'Yes - it didn't work.'

Bit tactless really, but I wasn't really bothered.

She was convinced it was good news, because I had sounded cheerful on the answerphone. I guess you learn to fake cheer after a certain amount of time...can't walk around gloomy all the time..!