The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

becs

AH LeopardLady I'm so with you on the symptom spotting, it drives me crazy! I try so hard to have a quiet 2ww and forget about it but then you read the ttc thread and everyone is over analysing every tiny thing! It can't be healthy to build yourself up so much only to come crashing down to earth! I can't help thinking that's why so many have had real downers this month.
I have to say I really struggle on where to post. I kind of feel I don't fit in anywhere because we started ttc april 07 but as far as I am aware my pituitary tumour has been causing the problems but that should be under control now. So I kind of feel like I'm still starting out but then have been around too long! I love reading this thread but I do struggle with so many ivf'ers as I don't know what you're all talking about most the time, so feel like a bit of an outsider.

shelly

liloandstitch wrote: »

Erm, Im a baaaaad ttcer.

I try and have most things in moderation, except calories. So much for the weight loss

Me too Hubby is back to work next week after 2 weeks off and I hope to get myself into an excercise routine.

becs wrote: »

AH LeopardLady I'm so with you on the symptom spotting, it drives me crazy! I try so hard to have a quiet 2ww and forget about it but then you read the ttc thread and everyone is over analysing every tiny thing! It can't be healthy to build yourself up so much only to come crashing down to earth! I can't help thinking that's why so many have had real downers this month.

I don't wish to offend anyone who uses the other thread but I heartily agree with you. So much so that I un-subscribed from the other thread a few months ago and haven't been back.
I believe that if the women who ss were to write down their symptoms each month along with which CD they happened they would find that the symptoms are normal for their cycles.

smartie12

Sorry to butt in but I thought the TTC threads were supposed to be here for support and for people to have a chat about what they're going through?? If that includes the 2ww and ss so be it.

Peace, love and babydust to all TTCers - longtimers and newbies.... and let them write what they want without feeling bad/stupid/guilty

Natalie6999

Thanks Smartie for saying what a lot of us are thinking, everyone has their own way of dealing with TTC, sometimes we have to take time away, sometimes we desperately need the support & to discuss how we are feeling, I thought that this is what this thread & the other one are for.

[Deleted User]

So I went to the docs and he gave me the lecture that I've heard about 50 times now from the epilepsy consultant, another GP, epilepsy nurse & the gyn clinic that we have not been trying long enough and how miscarriage is 'normal' that it is common and happens all the time etc etc etc.

He did order the blood tests for me, which I did early this week. The fun and games was with the test for DH today, strategically planning how we time things so we can get it done, get to the lab and not get to work too late given neither of us drive. The most amusing was me with a bad knee and a crutch trying to get out of a cab with the sample under my sweater!!!!

So we wait for the results and another blood test for me if AF comes (which I know is )

becs

Smartie and Natalie the boards are here for support and to chat about what we are all going through however symptom spotting is neither supportive nor productive and I know I'm not alone in the opinion that it does far more harm than good. Why can't we just have a forum where we can discuss what we are going through and support each other without someone leaping on every little thing and saying it's "a good sign" .
Maybe it affects some of us long term TTC'ers more than the newbies because we can't let ourselves go through that build up of positivity only for us to come crashing down month after month. I for one try to forget about what is going on with my body during the 2ww because af appearing each month is already hard enough to cope with without half a dozen or more people having convinced me that the symptoms I've been having mean I'm pregnant. That is just too much to bare I'm afraid. I also think that both LeopardLady and myself have been discreet in what we think and have not voiced this opinion on the TTC thread, however it seems that it has now been highlighted and I'm sure there will be more flack to come. As you rightly say Smartie though the boards are there to support and if some of us are feeling that these actions are causing us more anguish and distress then surely we deserve the same support as any other?

Natalie6999

sorry if I have caused any offence on here, even though I have been TTC for over 12 months I do still need some reassurance sometimes that what I am feeling is not just in my mind.

I think that I will only be posting on the TTC thread in future.

jiblets1

Does anyone have/know anyone who has had experience with having a tube removed? I'm meeting with the consultant next week and I'm suddenly very impatient and want to know everything before I get there. I guess I'm wondering if there's anything I need to consider before I go in - it always helps to be prepared with questions, I never think of them at the time.

With regards to the thread use, I don't think anyone is suggesting that ss is ridiculous and should be banned, but that it perhaps better kept for the other thread.
When I initially joined these threads it was a joint pregnancy and ttc thread, and I found listening to the pregnancy talk incredibly difficult to hear, and I ended up finding it more of a hinderence than a help. Then I realised that a ttc thread had been made, and that was very helpful. But as the months have changed into years I have also found the optimism difficult to handle, as I have had to move into a mental state that is more realistic for my situation.
I think there are many of us on this thread that have worked very hard to accept a more neutral state of mind, as long-term, the optimism followed by a crash was too hard to handle. Sadly, in many of our cases this ss really would be just in our minds.
This thread tends to stick to discussing medical consultations and procedures, and general chats to help our mental well-being. I think perhaps that is how this one is best used.
Many people read both threads, or choose just to stick to one, and there's no rules about how should go about choosing.

Natalie, I hope you feel free to come back to us if you feel the want or the need to.

xxx

liloandstitch

jiblets, that was beautifully put - thank you. As you have said, the issues for the longer term ttc tend to be a little different, and I am sure we all eagerly ss'd in the early days. Everyone is welcome to post on this thread, and express their points of view, but hopefully this will be done in a sensitive and supportive way. There is nothing wrong with symptom spotting but it tends to be most helpful for people who are just starting out on their journey, and is part of the excitement - this tends to have wear off after a while!!

I hope that this can be put to bed now, and back to our happy and supportive team ttc - Natalie you are welcome to post or lurk, whatever you prefer!

Hope everyone has a great evening and a good nights sleep (or not as the case may be) Lilo

PS jiblets, have no experience of tube removal I am afraid - I assume that this will be a lap with the usual recovery!?! Good luck anyway

Nikabella

I'm really sad to see this evenings posts - I can see everyones point of view, sadly TTC is a very difficult journey that can be different for everyone. The majority of the time I think this thread and the 12month+ one are an incredibly important resource for a lot of posters and the level of support is amazing.

I truely believe that everybody who posts on the two threads hearts are in the right place. At times the TTC journey can make us all more emotional and I completely agree that the written word can sometimes be misinterpreted. I don't think there was anything inflammatory about LL's post and understand about Nunny wanting to take a break, I really, really hope that no-one will feel that they cannot return to either thread because of this evening. Becs, please do not leave us, your wisdom is always appreciated and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it is for any of you ladies that have been trying for so long regardless of whether you already have a child or not.

I haven't been around much lately to post but I do try & read everyday - I could never express enough how much I appreciated the support of both of these threads during my latest journey. We are all different but you are all wonderful and I really hope things won't change.

Love,
A.xxx