The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

shelly

Oh Winky, I am so sorry.

Could you test again in a few days or does IVF not really work like just being late for AF....as in a pos just not showing up yet?


Take care of yourself and eachother.

shelly x

MadMac_2

Winky, could it *not* just be a rogue test perhaps? I would say don't give up on this cycle yet, wait a couple of days and test using a First Response one, nothing else. I am hoping it is just that your body isn't ready to show the hormones to a stick yet and am still keeping my fingers crossed for you. And yes, there is a next time, if you need it - but hang in there for now, xx

angelavdavis

Winky,_The_House_Elf wrote: »

He is in shock and disbelief. He knew the odds, but the talk of excellent embryos and text-book transfers got his hopes up, and mine too if I am honest.

Winky

So so sorry Winky, I had a similar experience three months ago with ICSI after the good feedback through the ER/ET processes and am still not 100% recovered from the shattering disappointment.

Look after yourselves and give yourselves time to get over the emotional side of the disappointment, and for your body and spirit to recover. x

nottslass_2

Winky,_The_House_Elf wrote: »

Negative.

I don't want to believe the test.
I know it's right, tested at 5am this morning as I couldn't sleep.
OH has crumpled.
This isn't the end of our journey, we will try again, and we are lucky enough to have frosties so thats the first route we'll be going down. I need to some time to recover, I bounced straight from Clomid (Which didn't agree with me) on to IVF so I have been hormonal/full of drugs since the start of the year.
I said I will wait until the new year, but OH wants to crack on as soon as possible.
He is in shock and disbelief. He knew the odds, but the talk of excellent embryos and text-book transfers got his hopes up, and mine too if I am honest.

Winky

I'm so sorry winky.I've been following your journey and was so sure I'd be logging on to good news today.

I had a failed IVF cycle at Christmas - like you everything had gone really well & thought that we were well on our way to that elusive BFP.
Of course we knew odds,but as we get through each stage we allowed our hopes to be raised that little bit more,only to be left gutted when it failed.
The good news is that we were told I was a "good responder" and the clinic said it was purely down to luck why it didn't work.
We had a second attempt in April & I'm now 18 weeks PG !!

With hind site I wish we'd have waited a few more months before embarking on our second cycle - Although it seems tempting to get cracking again, you really need time to let you body and mind recover.
Even after our BFP I'm still recovering from the trauma & stress the roller coaster they call IVF puts you through.

Take care x

liloandstitch

Hugs Winky, take care of yourselves, and give yourselves time to grieve. There is no right or wrong time to pick yourself up and try again, just what is right for you.

Lilo xxxxxxxx

jiblets1

crap. just lost a really long post.

Winky, so sorry to hear your bad news. Make sure you're ready to go back to work before you go. I think I would find it a welcome distraction - but everyone's different.

My appointment with the counsellor was good. A little weird, cos it felt like chatting to my mother for an hour. And she offered more opinions than I expected her to (they never do on telly!)
To surmise, she spent a lot of time listening to my arguments with SIL and I found it very comforting when she told me she thought I had nothing to reproach myself for. She thinks my OH is having a hard time because he is stressing more about his promotion than he or I had realised, and that he had to take care not to blame all his feelings on the fertility stuff.
She told me my extreme honesty is something to consider, as it is easily exploited, and it enables people to lay the blame for things at my door. She made me think about the fact that I can't blame all of my recent emotional problems on the clomid, and I think she's right. Had I worked at it, I could have lessened the blow of the nasty cloud I was under and I will try to remember that for future hormonal assaults.

As the whole conversation is sinking in I think the most important thing I'm taking away from it is that although babies are really important to me, I must remember that I have a present and a future with or without babies, and that I must take care of each aspect of my life. Even if that means ttc sometimes plays a lesser role than I've been allowing.

Ha ha, sorry that was less a summary and more an essay. But she's given me food for thought and has suggested OH and I both come back to see her once I've seen the gynae consultant about removing my tube.


But. The good news is, I've been laughing again. Some belly laughs, lots of little giggling with OH, friends and my dog. I hadn't realised that I'd stopped, but as the clomid cloud is leaving me (2 weeks or so after I should have started the 4th round) I'm realising that I haven't been laughing for a few months now. Shame on me.

Note to self: Never forget that you have a good life, and you love it. (even with the baby-shaped space yet to be filled).
Wishing you all lots of laughter.
xxx

liloandstitch

What a wonderful post - thank you jiblets.

I am glad you found it so good, and it is right to remind us that we have a life with or without babies and enjoy each and every second on it.

Lilo

ginvzt

I am back from my holiday. We had a good time, although spending a week with my mum is not easy. I had a few upsetting moments when someone was telling me off for not having kids and 'when I finally decide it will be too late'. I nearly through a glass at him across the table (aunt's husband, not the most sensitive man). Never mind, I'll get over that.

I kept reading the thread while away, and I am so sorry Winky... Did AF show up or there is still slight chance of hope?..

Shelly - glad your appointment went well, and jiblets - finally your had your counselling appointment too! Welcome to Leigh (and any other new commers if I missed).

I have a bit of a worry at the moment. My wound from laparoscopy got really sore yesterday (5 weeks after surgery!). The stitch is still visible, so it has not dissolved yet completely, and I managed to catch it yesterday in the loo after we landed in UK. The was some puss coming out and I got a bit worried (sorry for TMI). Had to run around the airport to find some plaster! So, this morning still slight bleeding, a bit more puss, but hopefully nothing too bad. Well, at least I hope so!!!! I have an appointment with GP tomorrow anyway to get the prescription for Clomid (I am still hopeful that maybe we have done it this cycle, but I also don't believe myself), so will ask to check it out.

Oh well, all will be fine. Need to get weekly shopping done and get my cat back home!

liloandstitch

Glad you had a good time ginvzt, but dont you just love relatives!

I would def get it checked - should has well healed by now. you sound like you may be a potential bfp - if so fingers crossed for you.

Lilo

tryingtodobetter

Good Morning

I posted earlier in the year about DH and I TTC baby number 3. It took 3 years to conceive DS1 (after being told we only had a 5% chance of conceiving naturally) so I know we're not in for an easy ride :rolleyes:, we have been TTC over 12 months now.

I have PCOS so my first plan of action is to lose some weight, I am not particularly overweight but I think it would help to lose just over a stone.
DH is taking a multivitamin that is high in both selinium and zinc and is trying to lose weight too.

Hope everyone is ok

TTDB