The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

jiblets1

Ha ha Shelley, hope you did as you were told. Getting started is always the hardest part. Says she who meant to go to Salsa all summer holidays, and never went.

Bit nervous about the first counsellor apointment tonight - hope it goes well. Worried about OH too. He definately seems to be keeping a lot from me worry-wise and I think he's suffering for it. Something to discuss with the counsellor I think...

MadMac_2

Jiblets, good luck for tonight, I'll be thinking of you. Not long to go!

Ah Shelly, thank you so much for sharing your fears with us. I can only second what Sarah has said and add that you could conceive with outside assistance and still suffer a MC - so falling PG naturally or otherwise will not make a difference if another loss occurs. God forbid it did happen again, but you know you would still cope with it in your own way and come out the other side. Easy to say, but having had too many MCs to remember, I really do know that life (sometimes very annoyingly) goes on regardless.

BTW your emotional self will also gain from the exercise, even if your weight loss doesn't seem to happen as quickly as you would like. Is there any exercise you enjoy - walking on the coast or round a lake, a good shopping trip with the car parked at the far end of the car park, swimming (I only go for the ladies only sessions) or cycling round the park and back? I don't think I would be motivated to use a treadmill, but OH often drags me out for a walk and I always feel better for it in all ways.

I think you're a star for even talking about it - sometimes that is half of the battle over!

shelly

Thanks again ladies for your kind words. You are all diamonds :A

liloandstitch

Hiya

Glad the smear went well, and reassuring to know that it is just like a normal smear! My first is a colposcopy so I am not sure what they will do - I had a loop biopsy at the first one and they had to peel me off the ceiling, so I am not sure I am looking forward to it!

I cried reading your post. It summed up how I feel and I feel somewhat reassured to not be the only one on the planet, and to know that it is a cancer thing rather than me cracking up. I got my weight down to 10 stone at thebeginning of last year - still too high, but way better than it is now. I put on 1/2 a stone over christmas last year (worrying about my first appointment and panicing that I had cancer) and then put on 1/2 a stone between my two operations, not sure how, but may have something to do with the extra fluid on my legs. My weight now hovers between 11 and 111/2 stone. My hubby has been ordered to diet and exercise or have to go on blood pressure medication so he has started being really good. I played around a while, but have been doing a bit better of late, and have gone from 160lb to 157 (11st3) so I am really trying, but I have to say my heart isnt in it. I have cut out extras and eat a healthy tea, but could probably do so much more. I cannot resist my bacon baguettes and latte coffees unfortunately. I cannot exercise as am still suffering from the exhaustion probs which have dogged me since the operation. I have only recovered about a 1/4 of my energy. Doctor is doing blood tests to see if he can find a cause, but it may be my legs, or still recovering from the operation. I have also had bronchitus which hasnt helped. Like you Shelly, I know that reducing my weight will improve me chances - but cant get motivated. I may post my weekly weight on here to encourage me to get going. I am going to have a chat with them in September to talk about pregnancy or see if I can chat to someone else cos I have so many questions and I think if I can get answers to those, I may be able to relax.

Sorry to go on and bore for England on this, but Shelly really hit the nail on the head for me, and I am really quite depressed about all this so I am afraid its just all come spilling out.

By the way, arent we expecting an IVF result soon .................................. (are we there yet!).......and Jojo is definately keeping quiet!

Lilo

Winky,_The_House_Elf

Hello ladies!

Was popping on to wish Jiblets good luck for her appointment.:wave:


Shelly: You wouldn't human if you didn't have those doubts and fears after all you have been through, try and see the weight loss as a seperate issue though, something that will help you be healthy and feel more energetic. Only you can decide if your longing for a baby is greater than your fears.

Liloandstitch: It sounds like you have had a rough time of it too sweetheart and I offer you the same advice as Shelly. The thing I love about the internet is that you can find people who are going through the same thing, which makes it that little bit less lonely, and makes you realise that what you are thinking is perfectly normal (((((hugs)))))


So much to catch up on- one more sleep for me! I woke up at 5.30am, cursing that I didn't have a test in the house! I considered finding something to pee in and testing later when I had a chance! I came to my senses for a moment and ran to the bathroom to pee before I could change my mind and be tempted to do it.:rotfl:

Right I am going to get something proper to eat as I have been grazing all day on crap. I've gone up 3 dress sizes since the start of the year I know the last bit is just from the IVF but I'm back in work after 6 months on Tuesday and I have just realised none of my work clothes fit! If I get my BFP tomorrow I won't care, if I don't I am taking control of my body and reclaiming it- trying to be positive but I just feel numb.


Winky x

Leigh2505

Hi. Have been reading this and the previous trying to conceive thread since January. I'm 28 and DH is 32. Been ttc for almost 2 years with no success. Originally went to see the Dr in Feb this year, who told us to come back in 6 months if still not happening. DH was concerned about a surgery he had around his "equipment" whilst as young child, so the Dr recommended a specimen of his sperm be taken to the local hospital for testing. Results for this came back came back fine. We've now been back to the Dr's and I have had several bloods taken (CD1-5, thyroid plus 2 hormone one). This week have had a smear, pv exam, swabs and CD21 bloods. We are now due to see the Dr to discuss the results and be referred on. It's upsetting not to have had a BFP by now, but am glad we are starting to move onto finding out why it's not happening.

liloandstitch

Welcome Leigh2505, sorry that you have been having problems. Going through the 'process' is the first step to getting it all sorted. Feel free to post as often as you like, for support, help or just for a chat - we are all going through similar problems, just all at different stages, its not all IVF!

Lilo

MadMac_2

Ah Lilo, if you were next door I'd be round there giving you a huge hug now! I find it comforting to know I'm not alone in having all these dark thoughts and only hope the light will appear again soon, x

Hi and welcome Leigh, sounds like you're doing all the right things and I look forward to reading more of your story as it unfolds. Best of luck!

liloandstitch

I had been feeling really positive MadMac, I think its the reality that I am soon back to ttc, and it scares the beejeebees out of me. I feel so depressed about it all. But this thread is so wonderful, and the way everyone faces the future is amazing. And I am so blessed to already have my DS. I really need to count all my blessings - but thanks for the hugs, they are very, very well received.

Lilo

Winky,_The_House_Elf

Negative.

I don't want to believe the test.
I know it's right, tested at 5am this morning as I couldn't sleep.
OH has crumpled.
This isn't the end of our journey, we will try again, and we are lucky enough to have frosties so thats the first route we'll be going down. I need to some time to recover, I bounced straight from Clomid (Which didn't agree with me) on to IVF so I have been hormonal/full of drugs since the start of the year.
I said I will wait until the new year, but OH wants to crack on as soon as possible.
He is in shock and disbelief. He knew the odds, but the talk of excellent embryos and text-book transfers got his hopes up, and mine too if I am honest.

Winky