The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

liloandstitch

Good luck with the smear test Shelly, I am sure it will go well. I have my MRI scan on Friday, and then a colposcopy and smear 2 weeks later. I feel strangely calm about it all - but I must admit am looking forward to the all clear again. I must admit though it is scary to be going back to ttc, and tbh am more than a little scared of getting pregnant really - it will be a very very difficult 9 months, even if I am lucky enough to get another shot.

I can understand how everyone has been feeling - I have been reading the posts feeling really sad that you are all feeling so low. But I do understand how you feel, and am starting to feel a little that way myself. It is over 6 years now since having my DS, and we tried to conceive straight away. 2 mcs and cancer later, I am still ttc. I look at other parents and their children and I really hate them, and their luck in life to be given what I would give my right arm for - and wonder what I did at some point to be punished in this way. And then I feel guilty because I have my son.

Still tomorrow is another day, I had a wonderful break in Devon, and went to some lovely places. I totally overdid it, and have used up all my reserves of strength, and am now completely cream crackered, so will have to take it easy for a while, I think.

Our hopes are riding on you winky for a bfp (no pressure then) and my fingers are crossed for jojo, have you summoned up the nerve to test yet?

Night night - lilo

shelly

liloandstitch wrote: »

Good luck with the smear test Shelly, I am sure it will go well. I have my MRI scan on Friday, and then a colposcopy and smear 2 weeks later. I feel strangely calm about it all - but I must admit am looking forward to the all clear again. I must admit though it is scary to be going back to ttc, and tbh am more than a little scared of getting pregnant really - it will be a very very difficult 9 months, even if I am lucky enough to get another shot.

Thanks Lilo.

Good luck to you too. I didn't have to have another MRI or colposcopy after my surgery, I just went straight to smears. I think I had my first one 4-5 months after surgery. I'm still amazed at how our Doctors/Consultants have handled our cases so differently. We both had the same problem but treatment has been very different for both of us....so long as the end result is a good one I guess it doesn't matter (still intrigues me though )

I too am scared of getting another BFP. There are so many more risks involved due to the surgery I (we) have had and I just know I will be worrying the whole 9 months.

becs

Hi Sarah,
I have been doing some internet research about luteal phases as mine is on the short side. I came accross this thread
http://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/12563-vitamin-b6-lengthen-luteal-phase-increase-progesterone-17.html
I didn't know if this was something you had seen, but it struck me when I read about the lady that had 3 m/c's I thought of you. I don't know if it's something you have investigated or thought about but it does make sense to me. Anyway thought I'd ask incase it can be of any help to you.

Winky,_The_House_Elf

Afternoon ladies

All is quiet at the moment...5 more sleeps till I test! Hard to hold on to the PMA but as a wise person said to me it is better to have a hopeful & positive 2ww rather than angst ridden, stress filled negative one. It probably won't change the outcome but at least it is a little respite from constantly beating myself up.

I daren't buy any tests as reformed POAS addict (Peeing on a stick) and I wouldn't trust myself not to start doing it too soon.

You know the one 'I know its going to be negative as its too soon... but there is a slim chance that it might be positive' then being completely devastated and testing everyday until AF arrives. The feeling of hope as you wait the magical 3 minutes only to be crushed.

Good luck with your smear Shelly. I'm sure wit your history they wont keep you hanging around.

Babydust and hugs to everyone

Winky x x x

skintmumofone

got af this morning am back to CD1 now.

Just dont know what is going on with my cycles any more, just found out dhs cousins partner just had another wee boy yesterday 9lbs 3 1/2oz good god what a big baby lol x

sarahs999

becs wrote: »

Hi Sarah,
I have been doing some internet research about luteal phases as mine is on the short side. I came accross this thread
http://www.babyandbump.com/trying-to-conceive/12563-vitamin-b6-lengthen-luteal-phase-increase-progesterone-17.html
I didn't know if this was something you had seen, but it struck me when I read about the lady that had 3 m/c's I thought of you. I don't know if it's something you have investigated or thought about but it does make sense to me. Anyway thought I'd ask incase it can be of any help to you.

Thank you, that's really kind of you to think of me.

I know my luteal phase is not 'short', it's about 11-12 days and they only count it as short if you have less than 10 days.

Also the progesterone therapy is contentious. My consultant says it simply doesn't work, as low progesterone is the symptom of a failing pregnancy, not the cause. It's one of the big studies that they are doing at St Mary's but he feels very strongly that it will show progesterone therapy is no use.

Of course, medics have been known to be wrong. And given that he can't explain why I miscarry all the time I guess it couldn't hurt to take some B6.

Right at the moment I am wondering where my af has gone. it's about a week late - and no, I'm not pg. Unless it's the immaculate conception all over again....

becs

Wow Sarah that's some pretty contencious thinking from your consultant! From alot of the research I have read (and trust me that is absoloutely masses!) natural progesterone cream is used frequently in women with conception problems and usually has very good results. There is also a lot of new thinking with regards to the length of luteal phase with many top fertility specialists believing that 12 days is the minimum. The theory being that a fertilsed egg can implant at anything between 6-10dpo. If af is due on CD11 giving you a 10 day lp then the womb lining would have already started to break down making implantation virtually impossible. Everything I have read seems to say that progesterone is the hormone that is responsible for sustaining a pregnancy, that is why it is one of the key hormones that they test in infertility.
The internet can be very dangerous if you take it at it's word but I have found my visits to my consultant much more productive because of it. It opens my mind to various scenarios and makes me pose the questions to him. I have to say he rarely disagrees with what I have read. The only thing he did disagree with though rather worringly was that I was ov'ing on cd22 of my cycle as he said "women ov on CD14" and it took the blood tests to prove that my "gimmicky machine" (cbfm) was actually telling the truth!
America seems to be the place that really focus on the progesterone creams, it seems to be on sale absoloutely everywhere and I can't help thinking that this must be founded on scientific research from somewhere.
I really hope you get some answers soon but it can't hurt to question a consultant, it certainly wouldn't be the first time they were wrong or simply not as well informed as we'd like to think. Good luck.

liloandstitch

becs, I have heard exactly the same thing, and have tried the progesterone cream myself (managed to screw up my cycle because I didnt have an lp defect but there you go) one on the other mums at school had had several mcs and was recommended to try it - she now has 2 little boys, and is obviously convinced that it works. Personally I would give it a try if I suspected this - as I said, I have tried it and it did lengthen my lp. (but it didnt need to hence my problem - I overdid it and had too much prog rather than too little, and it overwhelmed the oestrogen!) I told you I tried anything!!!!!

Hope everyone else is well - it is very quiet on here. Has anyone heard from Jojo?

Lilo

becs

Lol lilo,
I agree I am pretty much open to trying anything at the mo. I am wary though of some things as don't know how they would affect my meds for the tumour. I've started B6 though this cycle as my lp ias either 10,11 or 12 days but usally have 1 day spotting first as well so going on what they 're saying about 12 days makes sense to me. I'm not a symptom spotter but a couple of cycles ago both Dh and I as well as a friend at work were all utterly convinced I was pg because had so many physical symptoms, I had terrible nausea and was sick a few times, My boobs hurt so much and that was really unusual as don't have sensitive breasts at all but I was in agony at work just with my blouse moving on them! Was also absoloutely shattered when we hadn't had late nights or done anything tiring. I'm now convinced that I was pg that cycle but because of lp it didn't stick. So who knows it may do the trick for me, I'll give it a go!

liloandstitch

I have to say, I would probably agree with you - those are symptoms I have when I am pregnant, and it is the give away! It is very sad that it hasnt implanted, but could be for many reasons - if you have a short lp this may be why. From the point of you that you have started the process once, maybe this was the practise for the real thing! As I said, this other mum absolutely swears this is how she has managed to have her children, and the info she showed me certainly seems to back this up. Good luck with what you are trying, I hope it works for you. Lilo