The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

chickpea

Welcome newbies...here's hoping you don't stick around!

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Lilo - sorry about AF - is it just me or are quite a few of our cycles getting into sync?! Seems like everyone's going to be OVing around Christmas day. I expect to OV between Dec 26-28.

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cd2- started the Clomid again today. Day four on detox, had another swim. Had a health assessment today. My cholesterol, glucose and blood pressure are AOK. Just my weight that I need to tackle head on - I had lost weight before seeing the specialist in Sept, but it's crept up again a bit - BMI is 32. Getting it down to something like 27 is my New Year's resolution. My body fat is 42% - that's the same body fat composition as a pork scratching! (thanks Jack Dee!).

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I'm confronting my fears head on by inviting my pg neighbour round for some non-alcoholic mulled punch - I figure facing it head on might be the best way to neutralise the situation.

chickpea

I was being all chilled and zen about things.

Then I made the mistake of going on Facebook, and another friend has announced her pg.

I wish people wouldn't do that.

She already has one who's only just a year..it's not her turn, it's mine..

I had been planning to arrange to meet up with her over Christmas, but now I don't think I can. There goes another friendship.

Now I can't stop crying, which makes my head hurt. I think I'm going to cancel my going out plans for tomorrow - it really is asking too much. I just want the world and everything in it to just disappear and leave me alone.

Maddie

Hello and welcome to GTS, plymouthargylebird and Part Mouse! :hello:

GTS I remember you from the trying for a baby thread, good (but bad) to see you here

iambanana and others who replied re lap and dye dates, thanks for the info. Mine will be on a Tues so I've marked off that week and the next as unavailable on our staff planner. Hopefully I'll be ok by the last friday though since that's we're having a department volunteering day so should be a fun day.

chickpea, sorry you are feeling down I really think you need to distract yourself somehow from all the TTC stuff - plan a nice treat for yourself or try to find a hobby to focus on or something. If you focus too much on TTC then you are bound to have up and downers each month for however long this journey takes. Much easier said than done mind!

chickpea

Hi Maddie - I'm trying... It'd be a lot easier if I wasn't entirely surrounded by pg folk! Every time it's like a fresh knife in my heart...

I'm trying to tranfer my obsessiveness onto healthy eating.

I probably won't be on here much around Christmas, what with being at relatives' houses until 3 Jan - when I come back, I'll be halfway through the next 2ww!

Good luck with all the Christmas bd'ing to everyone who's ov'ing then!

ginvzt

chickpea - I am sorry you are feeling upset about your friends pregnancy. But you have to find a different way to look at this. You can't isolate yourself from everyone who is having babies! Please, find something to distract yourself with from the ttc. I have to say, I have been checking my temperature every morning, and then bought CBFM, etc, and was a bit obsessed with all. But, there comes time when you can't keep living by the thermometer and peeing on the sticks every morning. I have to say I haven't checked my temperature for a long time now nor have I used CBMF (it is in the cupboard).

Yes, it will be upsetting when we hear about someone else getting pregnant, but we need to realise, that because it is not happening for us, the world is not going to stop turning and babies being born. It is hard, and feels harsh, but it is the way things are.

I am still quite a few days away from the test date, and somehow I am not sure if I will reach it. My OH thinks that success rate now somewhere near 100% probably, as he keeps telling I am pregnant. I was trying to tell him, that at best it is about 40% chance of actually getting the positive test, but he wasn't buying any of it. Probably because I told him I am not having second round any time soon, as I want to find a job I enjoy before I embark on another cycle.

Part_Mouse

Thanks for the welcome

Chickpea sorry to hear your feeling down, i went through some really dark times with clomid and not getting pg but distracting yourself as hard as it is can help keep the neg feelings at bay.

jujugaboo

Keep chin up chickpea we are all in the same boat and know how you feel. I had dinner with my newly pregnant friend on Saturday and it was fine, very pleased for her, though also very jealous.

AF arrived today so I can start next lot of treatment next month at around the same time. I hope next year brings us all what we want.

Gin, fingers crossed for you, its nice that OH is so positive I can do with some of that rubbed off on me and my OH. I understand about the job thing, I hate my job and really need to make some big changes to my life next year if I don't get pregnant next time round.

ginvzt

jujugaboo wrote: »

Gin, fingers crossed for you, its nice that OH is so positive I can do with some of that rubbed off on me and my OH. I understand about the job thing, I hate my job and really need to make some big changes to my life next year if I don't get pregnant next time round.

It is hard when you are not enjoying your job, isn't it? I love working with one of the colleagues on his projects, and he is basically the only person I can have a chat, but as he is leaving the company on Friday, it is going to be incredibly hard last year without him. He was very good, and if I had any questions, he would answer them, no matter how silly they were. Unfortunately, although my boss is a nice man, I had never been able to get this from him. Don' get me wrong, he is very knowledgeable, but I see him once a week at best, and even then we barely talk (work or non-work related).

So, come January, if I am pregnant, I will stay there, if not, I will be updating my CV and applying for jobs somewhere else. I am always told there is shortage of people in my industry, so maybe it won't be a too long hunt, but on the other hand, I don't feel like I have 'grown' professionally in this company much and I am not as confident as I was when I changed job 2.5 years ago.

jujugaboo

ginvzt wrote: »

It is hard when you are not enjoying your job, isn't it? I love working with one of the colleagues on his projects, and he is basically the only person I can have a chat, but as he is leaving the company on Friday, it is going to be incredibly hard last year without him. He was very good, and if I had any questions, he would answer them, no matter how silly they were. Unfortunately, although my boss is a nice man, I had never been able to get this from him. Don' get me wrong, he is very knowledgeable, but I see him once a week at best, and even then we barely talk (work or non-work related).

So, come January, if I am pregnant, I will stay there, if not, I will be updating my CV and applying for jobs somewhere else. I am always told there is shortage of people in my industry, so maybe it won't be a too long hunt, but on the other hand, I don't feel like I have 'grown' professionally in this company much and I am not as confident as I was when I changed job 2.5 years ago.

Tell me about it! I hope you get pregnant then you won't have to worry about changing jobs. It make it a hard environment when you have no-one to talk to.

I have been at my place 6 years but have been doing the same job for 11 and I have enough now. Trouble is there are not many jobs out there and I don't actually know what I want to do either (apart from be a Mum).

sexki11en

ginvzt wrote: »

I have to say, I have been checking my temperature every morning, and then bought CBFM, etc, and was a bit obsessed with all. But, there comes time when you can't keep living by the thermometer and peeing on the sticks every morning. I have to say I haven't checked my temperature for a long time now nor have I used CBMF (it is in the cupboard).

I echo what Gin has said here Chickpea. I checked my temp and used CBFM for almost 19 cycles and now that i've let go of those (on my third cycle without now) it all seems much easier to deal with and people have said I seem happier. I have no idea what CD i'm on. OK, I know it's about CD10-12 and that I should be ov soon (if I haven't already) - but we haven't done anything about it this month :eek: (well, maybe once or twice lol)

It's hard to let go of the control you feel when you're doing those things, but honestly, you'll feel a million times better for it.

SK x