The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Runnerduck

Amara wrote: »

My husband won't do checks. We're both 34 . We gave up contraception in may 2008. I went to doctor in March 2009, on my own, she said we both had to had tests. He flatly refused. We had very hard 2009 year (for other reasons) so I didn't insist. Situations cleared out on the begining of this year and I fell pregant . However, I lost it at 11 weeks. Been told to try again after 3 months. In September I went privately to specialist, had proper egzamination done, scan and hormones. All results came fine. Doctor even said that could seen I just had ovulation. Suggested that fertility problems were on my OH side. He just doesn't want to. I don't know what to do.

hi, like you, i fell preg a year after starting trying then miscarried, and nothing happened for 2 years so i went to doc, he wanted to see hubby too, now ive been with my hubby 14 years and he had never been to the doctor in that time, he didn't even know who his doc was but he reluctantly came to mine, then like you other girls, i was doing the dash to the lab with the pot in my bra for his samples, the the results were bad so now we are doing ICSI, after the initial embarassment i think he is finding the appointments a bit better, or he just feels guilty as he just has to sit ther while i have internal scans etc
i don't really know the best way to persuade him, does he read these posts, then he can see the other men were feeling the same

Amara

Hi girls and thanks for all your responds. My OH just doesn't want to talk about it. Everytime I start,he sulks, getting annoyed. His reason is "no because no, it's a man's thing", what I understand he's worried is something wrong with him. Once, when I was pregnant I asked him why he didn't want, I was like, come on ,it doesn't matter now anyway, so tell me. Answer was the same. My time is ticking away.

Runnerduck

i'm sorry, i hope he will change his mind, because things can be done even if his sperm is very bad, We are having ICSI as his sample was too bad to do IVF, if its any help, im 34 and they keep saying the odds are good as i'm still young,

MadDogWoman_2

I just wanted to give all you lovely ladies a hug. I've been in your situation and I found Christmas and New Year to be really hard.

Positive vibes and sticky dust to you all.

ginvzt

Test day tomorrow. No symptoms at all. I don't hold much hope for a positive result - and somehow it doesn't make me feel sad at all. Maybe I am just not ready to have a baby. Need to 'grow-up' a bit more...

Murray

Hi ladies, welcome to the newbies :wave:

Sorry to those of you who's OH's are reluctant to take tests. I think they must see it as an assult on their masculinity. I suppose the whole reproductive process is one that they could feel a bit sidelined in, afterall, when the deed is done they dont have much essential input! It would be hard for them to think that they've failed at the one essential task they have. Having said that, if they know what us ladies have to go through test wise and afterwards if we do get our bfps :eek: - I think its the least they can do! Sorry, it doesn't really help on a practical level.

Gin - Good luck for tomorrow, I have everything crossed for you. Remember, its not over until AF arrives and a lack of symptoms can be a good sign! And, FWIW, I dont think any of us ever really 'ready' to have a baby, especially not the first

I've booked myself an accupuncture appointment for next week - I'm terrified of injections so dont really know how I'll manage but I figure that if I do have more tests/get pg then I'll have to face a lot more injections and worse so I might as well get used to it! :rotfl: Also, I've heard a lot of good feedback about accupuncture for infertility so if it did work and I had waited any longer before trying it, I would kick myself - I probably will anyway.

ginvzt

I am just talking to my friend on Skype, and she keeps telling me about her 3 year old, his recent birthday and he saw Santa for the first time live, etc., and all I keep thinking is that he was still in her tummy during our wedding and now he is already 3 years old - time goes by so fast!

staffiecat

Hi Everyone,

I think I am one of the lucky ones with my OH, he was happy to go for the tests and is being really supportive. Having said that though I do think it took a while for him to understand the importance of this and how I was feeling about it. Amara I think you are right that your OH may be worried about the results - male pride etc. If you could perhaps try and give him some information to show that actually the test takes hardly any of his time etc... Wishing you the best of luck to get through to him.

Ginvzt I have got my fingers crossed for you hun, my friend tests next week and she isn't feeling anything either but I really don't think that means anything - remember that most people only know they are pg weeks after missed period!

I have been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster since last posting. On 2nd FSH cycle (injections are day 3,5 and 7 of cycle) and should be monitored (with scans) from day 8 but I couldn't get through to the scanning dept ! OH drove there in the end and made a formal complaint - i finally got a scan cd13 :mad: and they told me that it was too late, my ovulation had cancelled itself !! I cried and cried and cried. Anyway they asked me to come back today just to check (cd15) and my egg is growing :j they think that I could now ovulate over the next few days.

Anyway sorry for the long post - hope you all have a great Christmas
xx

ginvzt

staffiecat - thanks for crossed fingers! Congratulations on your growing egg!

I have just half a day left today, and once I get home it is going to be easy, as I'll just sit on the sofa and keep watching the Dr House DVDs.

Ok, TMI warning. I know we are told to use the first pee in the morning. Now, I always get up at night to use the loo, sometimes it is about 2am, sometimes 4am. Should I save that one, or wait until the 'proper' morning? I am confused!!!

QQuaver

ginvzt wrote: »

Ok, TMI warning. I know we are told to use the first pee in the morning. Now, I always get up at night to use the loo, sometimes it is about 2am, sometimes 4am. Should I save that one, or wait until the 'proper' morning? I am confused!!!

I'd use proper morning one, fingers crossed:)