The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

stef240377

Hi, I hope you dont mind me busting in on the thread.

I am a 32 year old mum of 3 from a previous relationship soon to be married to my partner of 3 years who is 30.

He has a disability called ankylosing spondylitis which he takes upto 30 tablets a day for. I have arthritis but am trying to get by on solely paracetamol for pain relief. We have been ttc since getting together, we have used no contraception what so ever. After a year of no results asked gp for help. Initially we were told we hadnt been together very long and to give it some longer, then OH was put on sulphasalazine which is known to deplete sperm supplies but not impossible to conceive. As OH's health is paramount decided he needed the pain relief more than we needed to expand the family. So another year down the line he moves on to trial drugs for condition and gp thinks a further sperm test should be done to see exactly what is going on. Luckily sperm count was not affected and came in at 56 million with 70% mobile. I have now had the hsg, blood tests, abdominal scans etc and all have come back clear. Gynea consultant thinks 3 months on clomid will help, i am now 14 days into cycle having had this months dose. Was told to wait until day 12 to have intercourse for reproduction purposes then every other day until day 17. Have been told i can also use the fertility sticks to find out which days are best but so far they have been coming back as no LH rise. After reading up on this i think i have interperated it to being the clomids fault as you dont get a true reading - please correct me if this is so and add further to anything i may have missed or not being fully informed on.

I am struggling to come to terms with why in my niave teens i conceived as soon as coming in to contact with my ex partner where a child was the last thing on my mind and yet now fully mature and readily able to accept the responsibility of what we are doing it is soooo hard.

Has anyone else had similar experiences? I asked a gp about this the other day who readily admitteed he isnt converse with the fertility side of things but if we had had clear test results then perhaps when it came down to reproduction OH and I were just incompatible.

I am also intrigued to know with out consulting endless google searches how successful is clomid? I had read on one page upto 50% but this was for women who had underlying problems. Seeing as i dont will it work or is it just adding to the time we have already spent trying?

Any responses will be great

becs

Oh MadMac, Huge hugs to you. You're not alone we do all go through patches where we feel so despondent, It must be worse for you with oh having depression. Not being able to say anything for fear it will make things worse but you have a right to feel the way you do too! I really hope you start to feel better soon. I have a really good friend who keeps me motivated when I feel it's all so useless! She and her hubby tried for 6 years to have a baby, she suddenly decided at 37 that she really wanted a child even though she had previously said she didn't want kids. It took them 6 years but she finally had her little boy when she was 43 naturally. I'm not far behind you either I'm 37 in January and can't believe how quickly the time goes. I do believe we will have a child but it will just take longer than others. I'm sure things will get better with your oh and you'll be in a position to try and improve things.
Take care of yourself and allow yourself a little wobble before giving yourself a good kick up the bum to find some pma again! Mean whilst enjoy a dodgy hug!:grouphug:

MadMac_2

Thanks becs, in floods of tears and just cannot seem to stop tonight. Nothing is taking my mind of it, and OH says he doesn't want to talk tonight so that isn't helping.

Will try to get through the night in one piece and hopefully get my pma back soon, x

becs

oh bless you, I wish I could be of more help. It's hard enough going through all this with a partner who's always here let alone facing it all on your own. I wish I could be there to just give you a hug! Everyone seems to be finding it tough at the mo, Smartie, Leopardlady too. I hope you feel better soon,hopefully oh will realise you need some tlc too!

becs

Hi Steph,
welcome. I can't offer any advice on clomid \i'm afraid as no experience. I will say though that for some couples things just take a little longer. My friend had been tryingh for over a year and her and hubbys tests all came back clear, she finally fell pregnant after her HYCOSY test after 2 years of trying. She was the same age as you, 32 when she started trying and 34 when she fell pregnant.

stef240377

My OH finds it frustrating as he wanted a child for years with his ex and was convinced he was at fault for health reasons for things not happening, only when they split did he find out she had no intentions of conceiving as she was having the pill injection behind his back and at the time an affair that was going on for several years.

I suppose we are just wanting facts, figures and experiences. An old neighbour has told me via facebook she was given 3 months on clomid when diagnosed with PCOS and it didnt work, the consultant went on to tell her she would get no further help until she lost weight - the weight she had gained through medical problems and has now been left feeling very deflated.

becs

Hi Steph
If you look back through The other TTC forum you'll see Kenco. A lady that was told her pcos was so severe it was the worst case her gp had seen. She had been given clomid and had no luck. Her gp then said she had a less than 1% chance of having children. She found a second opinion and a consultant willing to try her on clomid again but also to monitor her much more closely. She was due to start the clomid this month but found out last month she has naturally conceived twins! So sometimes it really is just a case of being patient and letting nature do it's thing. You say you've been trying for over a year, have you been using opk's or anything to ensure you have your timings right?

foxy-roxy

Hi, i just this minute posted a thread somewhere asking about a thread i could be directed to about TTC or PCOS and then i found this ...yay!!
Anyway if you dont mind me joining, i am 26 (27 this month booo) and been TTC for just over 2 years, i was diagnosed with PCOS about 6 years ago but my doctor says that because i am still having regular periods and not overweight etc then i should be perfectly fertile - well obviously not. I am shortly goin to ask to be put on Clomid, so will keep updating on the progress of that to see if it works.
Baby dust to every one xx

jiblets1

Welcome to the newbies - glad to see more people we can help, and more people that can help us.

I'm feeling a bit crazy at the moment. I'm mid-cycle, possibly ovualting about now and it's affecting me with period type symptoms. I'm very teary, my libido is high, my nipples hurt and I'm feeling really lazy. I'm sort of assuming that this all means I'm going to have a hellish period imminent (after my almost non-existent period last month). I am also hoping it means that this month is really working - as with my blocked tube I never know if each month is a fair go or not. It is very frustrating to know that even with the clomid, each month has a 50/50 chance of being a dud before I start. I was told in May that I need the tube removed, and I'm still waiting for any sort of apointment. I'm just feeling a bit stagnant at the moment. boo.

liloandstitch

Hi, welcome to all the newbies, I hope you find the thread helpful. Have been in bed with a migraine for the last day so not a lot of help! I am still suffering - b.....y things!

Lilo