The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

liloandstitch

Hi notisis, welcome to the thread - and thanks for your thoughts X

I have no personal experience of this, but the clinic I used in Wimbledon, London did donor egg IVF abroad. I dont know how this worked, but I found the clinic to be very helpful and caring, and the owner/consultant there is one of the leading Gynae's in the country. It is thanks to her that I am alive and well, as she identified a cancerous growth whilst I was undergoing IVF treatment which had been missed by smear tests etc. If you want the details, please pm me. They also specialise in natural IVF, which works with your natural cycle and then test-tube it/ICSI the one egg and replace. It is a far more gentle system, and she is a leading advocate in the less intensive cycle. We went ahead, I was 39 and had a higher than recommended FSH level - and produced a grade A (ie perfect) embryo. Fortunately (as I had cancer) it didnt work!!!!! I have always found her to be absolutely honest about our chances of success and whether it was worth going ahead. I have seen her since getting the all clear, and she gave me some very honest advice after a very thorough examination that IVF would no longer be possible due to the healing that had taken place and that the catheter could not be passed into the womb. I have absolute trust in her and her assessment of the situation.

Can I ask - is there a reason for you needing IVF, or is it unexplained infertility?

Hope you get the answers that you need to make your decisions - post whatever and whenever!

Lilo

notisis

Thanks Madmac and Lilo. I'll pm you if I may Lilo for the clinic details. Reason is ICSI needed cos of OH low sperm count/motility and now my own possible low ovarian reserve may mean donor egg too. We'd like to try with own egg first before moving to donor as time is marching on. Sucess rates for overseas clinics seem better and cheaper! Consultant I saw in October was really pushing the Lister or one of the satellite clinics since he's a consultant there but we are talking a minimum of £5k per treatment without the extras (i.e. icsi, additional tests), so talking around £7k plus travel etc (plus donor costs if needed and a long wait for donor) as opposed to say 7,700 euros for a max of 6 goes package at Pedios clinic in Cyprus (plus flights etc and some drugs). There's such a lot to think about. Adoption is out as we are too old now apparently. And there's a long waiting list to adopt abroad and then be approved by social services.

We've decided we can afford a max really of 3 goes in uk and don't want to remortgage as I know a couple who have spent 20 years and well over £50k that I know of and are still childless and in a lot of debt. I'd rather accept our lot, our cats and feel lucky we have each other and our health if that makes sense. I'd be disappointed but I don't want to get fixated. I'll probably end up a mad cat woman! Sorry for long post.

plumpmouse

notisis wrote: »

Adoption is out as we are too old now apparently. And there's a long waiting list to adopt abroad and then be approved by social services.QUOTE]


My neighbours adopted a child. Not exactly sure of their ages but the woman must have been mid forties and her husband in his fifties.
They did adopt an older child (4 years) not a baby though.


Leopard Lady so sorry to hear your news.

jujugaboo

I stumbled on this part of the site by accident and wonder if I could join in.

My partner and I have been TTC for 3 years and last year had our first round of ICSI which was unsuccessful though I was briming with PMA. We are hopefully due for a second round in the next following months and it would be great to off load and have some support.

ginvzt

Lilo - sorry about your SB. Keep strong and I hope your stepdad will be ok. I know, it is hard...

Welcome to all new members of this mad club. Don't worry - we are all mad here (no offence, I am the "maddest" off all, probably). We have good days, bad days, days of tea and cookies, cakes, etc, although only virtual ones. You are all welcome here to share all the PMa and happy news or come and explode with anger about doctors/GPs/NHS, share sorrows, etc. We are all here on the same journey... Just different paths.

It is OH birthday tomorrow and friends arrive on Friday, and there is still quite a bit of cleaning to do, ironing, preparing bedrooms (my favourite part), shopping for food, making soup for Friday lunch and baking a birthday cake. Oh, and we are probably going out for dinner tomorrow as well, as we have some left Times eat for £10 vouchers and they expire next week. Oh, and I want some time for myself just to relax. It has been a mad few weeks. Two evenings, just a few hours each, but all needs to be done!!!!!

sarahs999

Sorry to hear about your stepbrother lilo. Really sad for everyone.

hamish222

Notisis have a look at fertility zone and fertility friends both have sections on treatment abroad. Also I know that Gcrm in Glasgow links with a clinic in Spain ivi valencia for doner. So that all before and after is done at Glasgow, just need to go to Spain for transfer etc. They organise everything. I would imagine that other clinics do the same kind of thing

angelavdavis

Hi everyone,

Lilo - sorry to hear about your step-brother. I lost my best friend two weeks short of his 40th birthday after he fought cancer for 6 years. It is awful to hear of people going through this during what should be the prime of the life. I will pray for strength for you and your family.

Ginvzt, I am exhausted reading all that you have got to do - good luck with all that! Have a lovely time with OH on his birthday!

Notisis, I have exactly the same situation as you. My OH has low count and motility and I will be 41 next week, so don't qualify for ICSI on NHS (had one failed treatment last year). I also only have one functioning ovary, so my FSH is high, so even though I was referred for my first treatment before my 40th birthday, I still didn't qualify!

I have been looking at a clinic in Tunbridge Wells (my treatment was elsewhere) and am wondering if they will tell me I have to use a donor egg.

I have also read up about treatment abroad on Fertility friends so it would definitely be worth checking it out as has already been suggested. I did contact a clinic in Spain a while ago (web site details were on that site), but I didn't take it any further at the time. It was being run by a nurse who used to give advice on the site and was leaving her UK job to run this clinic in Spain.

Well not much news from me except that my lovely hubby is taking me and my parents away for five days next week to Longleat Centerparcs for my birthday and has booked a lovely day at the spa there for both of us. So, I am being totally spoiled! x

liloandstitch

Hiya everyone!

notisis - I have pmd you the details

jugaboo - welcome to the thread and I hope you have second time lucky with the ICSI

Ginvzt - happy birthday to your OH for tomorrow, and dont forget to breathe whilst rushing around!

Hi hamish:hello::hello:

angelavdavis - that is very young, although to battle for 6 years was very courageous. Happy Birthday for next week, and what a WOW birthday treat. Lucky, Lucky you.

Hope everyone had a good day = lilo

Maddie

notisis I've just been lurking and saw your post. From what I understand with adoption it is the age difference between you and the child that matters, so you might not be able to adopt a baby, but still be able to adopt an older child.