The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

tea_lover

Thanks Nicki - good point re OHSS. That would be sick leave rather than annual/unpaid leave. Could possibly work from home. I used to do that loads but now I'm in a different part of the business it's a bit more difficult. I'm sure with a bit of planning though I could find something that could work at home for a day or so.

If I had to take say a week of unpaid leave for EC/ET I'd be ok with that, just not sure it's even allowed.

Still, always good to bash out the options on here before going in there.... present them with a solution, not a problem and all that lol. Cheers for the ideas.

littleme82

Hi everyone

Am currently on CD15 of my 13th cycle. Not had any side effects from the 100mg of clomid this month. Have used the OPK the last few days and you could not get any more negative! There is no sign at all of a second line.

The first month i had the most amazing +ve OPK I'd ever had. Last month never got it and this month its disappeared.

We are just going to go every other day until AF arrives and if she does we get our referral 2 weeks on monday.....

Not been able to have a proper read back but hugs to anyone who needs it.

xx

lucyloo77

Tea, by law they are not allowed to refuse you time off for IVF, although they don't have to pay you for the time off. (I'll try and find you a link re this later, am typing on my phone at the moment). So worst case scenario you can take it as unpaid leave. I've taken all mine as sick leave -luckily my HR department were happy with that, and I get paid up to a max of 6 months sick leave a year. Both times I took one week self-certified sick leave for EC & ET (and anyway I WASN'T fit to work, so I definitely see it correct as sick leave!) and then was signed off by my GP for the extra time off after the chemical.

Edited to add: hmmmm, apologies as I think I might be incorrect there. If an employer was to refuse time off for IVF, even unpaid, then there would be likely grounds for sex discrimination. They are not allowed to treat you unfavourably due to undergoing IVF. You also enter a protected period in terms of employment rights from the minute an embryo is transferred, and even if the cycle is unsuccessful then you are protected up to two weeks after you have the negative test. Also you have some limited extra rights from when the eggs are collected. http://www.croner-i.croner.co.uk/croner-i/gateway.dll/hra-resources/hra-features/hra-features-content/hra-gold-features-dcam-5510405?f=templates$fn=hra-frameset.htm$3.0

AFM: Back at work today but trying to take it very easy. We've ended up with one frostie (from the unaffected batch). Two of the heated batch also made it to blasto, but weren't of a good enough quality to freeze unfortunately.

Murray

Hi ladies

I used to be a regular poster/lurker on this thread but withdrew when I thought it was time to rein in my TTC obsession. Anyway we didn't stop TTC and I just wanted to bring you up to date with our journey.

After 3.5 years of TTC - 1 cystectomy, 2 lap & dyes, 2 IUI's and what seemed like hundreds of SA's and blood tests - we were just embarking on our first IVF cycle. I'd been told that we should have ICSI which was a shock as all of our test results, SA's etc. had been good. Nonetheless, we had all of the appointments, injection lessons, massive box of drugs and paraphanlia delivered (which resulted in the first of many tearful episondes over the next few weeks) and our one funded IVF cycle was underway.

I spent 2 weeks injecting Buserelin (down-regging) everyday when I realised that AF was a week late which is apparently quite normal when you're down-regging. I assumed it was because I'm quite senstive to hormone mimicing meds and that my dose needed changing but and was actually annoyed at her no-show becuase it meant our IVF cycle was delayed further and more meds. I had a few HPT's at the back of the cupboard that were going out of date so I thought I'd do one just to rule that out before I rang the clinic. You can imagine my suprise when it showed a bfp straight away. 4 tests later (I'm a hoarder!), I was a mixture of emotions - elated at having finally got a bfp after 42 cycles of hope and disappointment but also terrified at the harm the Buserelin might have done.

I went to my GP who was excellent - she spoke to specialists and arranged an early scan to check viability and all the news was positive. Basically, the Buserelin mimics a hormone that you would be producing naturally at that stage of pregnancy anyway.

Its still a worry (After what we've been through, I'm a hard-wired worrier!) but I am now nearly 28 weeks pregnant and all the scans that I've had (5 in total because of a possible incompetent cervix) and all looks well.

I just wanted to share my story with you becuase I went through some dark times when it all seemed hopeless and the positive stories on here really helped me. I hope you all get your own little miracles very soon!

Wishing you the best of luck and happiness.

Murray xx

Wonder_Woman

How did it go today Tea?

We bit the bullet and called clinic this afternoon (spurred on by some positive experiences I read on here and other threads - thanks Murray ) and DH now has SF appointment. It's not for another three weeks but is step one and figure we can still mull it over whilst we wait rather than decide a month down the line and have to wait another month for the app.

Lucy - I wondered re rights myself. Surely no employer would dare refuse unpaid leave due to the discrimination point? The last thing anyone needs is a battle with the bosses though and the extra stress!

MrsDavo

Hi Everyone,

Tea: Big hugs - I understand that feeling of just wanting to run away. I feel the same very often!

Lucy : That is truly awful but Good Luck, and I hope you get your BFP!

Littleme - GL with this cycle!

Pink - How are you?

Fluffnutter - "Billy Ballbags" made me LOL at work earlier! So funny! So thank you for the laugh :rotfl:

AFM:

CD 34 today of first clomid cycle - No ovulation at all. Fed up waiting on my period so I can start on 100mg.
Seem to be alienating everyone except the one person I know who has been where I am. Often getting called a miserable cow, and that I am being very cold towards people. Apparently I shouldn't expect people to be understanding or have empathy for us.

According to my OH I should just tell myself I don't want a baby an then I can be happy again. Yeah right......

Really at the stage of wondering why I bother with anyone

This is month 31 for us.

Part_Mouse

Has anyone thats had menopur found the se bad? bricking it as clomid and tamoxafin were awful.

bigzippy

littleme82 wrote: »

Hi everyone

Am currently on CD15 of my 13th cycle. Not had any side effects from the 100mg of clomid this month. Have used the OPK the last few days and you could not get any more negative! There is no sign at all of a second line.

The first month i had the most amazing +ve OPK I'd ever had. Last month never got it and this month its disappeared.

We are just going to go every other day until AF arrives and if she does we get our referral 2 weeks on monday.....

Not been able to have a proper read back but hugs to anyone who needs it.

xx

I had the same thing with ov predictors & clomid - clear as a bell the first month or 2 of clomid, then nothing. The clomid interferes with them (can't remember why now) so try not to stress when none of the pee sticks want to cooperate

Rowingirl

Infertility Network UK has a factsheet on employment rights & infertility treatment that echoes what lucy said: http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/uploaded/Fact%20Sheets/Employment%20Time%20Off%20for%20Fertility%20Treatment.pdf and http://www.infertilitynetworkuk.com/uploaded/Fact%20Sheets/Employment%20Issues%20-%20July%202013.pdf

Good luck with work tea, hope your manager comes through and can work something out so you have the time off with the least amount of stress/ time to make up.

time2deal

Hi ladies, is anyone here near Cardiff?

I've been asked by a friend for an urgent recommendation for IVF near cardiff. She had the same surgery as me, but looks like her cancer may have spread - and she wants to try and do an egg collection cycle, as next step for cervical cancer is normally radiation...

Anyone got any advice? Assume that money isn't a worry - as it's a one time only chance they will find the money!