The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Part_Mouse

Primmer

It's so heartbreaking hearing how upsetting your journey has been, i wish there was some thing I could say to make it better.

tea_lover

Primmer wrote: »

at the moment I feel both so angry and so upset that it is all consuming.

This, exactly. It's like there's none of me left, I'm so angry and sad that that's all there is left in me now.

Massive hugs hun, I really hope you get better news from the adoption people soon xx. Thinking of you.

lucyloo77

Hey guys. Still feeling rather dazed/spaced-out from EC this morning, but they got 15 eggs! 15!!!!! Huge improvement on the 3 they got last time eh! So now just the horrible wait for tomorrow morning's phonecall to find out how many/if any have fertilised..

Sending both Primmer and Tea very big hugs. So sorry it's such a hard time for you both right now. xx Really hope that the adoption situation improves for you soon Primmer - was it September you speak to them again? Tea, counselling sounds like a really good positive idea, nothing to lose and everything to gain. But ultimately hun, it's your life and nobody elses, and you really do have to do what's right for YOU.

Also, hello to SewIt!

chickpea

Hi everyone - sorry there's so much gloom around..

Primmer - everyone's story obviously is unique to them, but I do know a little bit how you feel. Sorry it all feels so hopeless at the moment.

It's not all over at 40 though! I had my 40th birthday last month - and at the time at least I thought I was pregnant, didn't know then that I had already had a mmc. But I am hugely encouraged that I did manage to conceive at nearly 40, even if it didn't work out. I hope your journey isn't over, even if it feels hopeless.

I believed at the time it was losing weight and eating a high protein diet that helped me conceive (although I know you have mf issues to contend with, which I don't.) So I'm back on my diet of principally eggs, chicken and fish for now!

Tea Lover - I'm going to push to get signed off work as long as I can after this m/c - sod work, I'm more important, and I need time to heal. Maybe some time would help you to get back some joie de vivre. Sorry if that sounds patronising, I don't mean to be. I feel for you at the moment, I know everyone else does.

++++++++

5 days post SMOM (surgical management of miscarriage - it's the new, and improved, name for the ERPC (Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception).)

I have a faint, but diminishing, line on HPTs, and a gradually darkening line on OPKs - no idea yet if that's significant or not, but have resumed DTD just in case.

So I'm back on board, and would like added to the list idc - who's doing the list?!

My details are:

Chickpea, 40. TTC#2 since 09/09. Low AMH. 12 cycles Clomid BFN, 6 cycles ovulation induction (Gonal F + Ovitrelle) BFN. Natural BFP 06/13, MMC 08/13.

lucyloo77

I forgot to say Tea, I had 2 weeks signed off work after my chemical mc. My GP was great about it all in the circumstances and more than happy to sign me off for as long as I felt I needed. Really did help me so much and made a lot of difference, just taking that time for myself. As Chickpea said, sod work, you're more important. Definitely something to consider anyway.

SewIt_2

Lucyloo - 15 eggs is amazing, well done you. Will keep everything crossed that you get lots of little embies tomorrow! Thanks for the hello!

Tea Lover - I am so sorry things are so black for you right now. Lucyloo is right, you are more important than work. Maybe some time off (and maybe away from OH) might give you the space you need to heal and decide what to do next. I think you are amazingly strong to have come through what you have.

chickpea - I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage, you must be devastated.

Primmer - So sorry that you are so sad. I would definitely seek out an infertility counsellor in your area. I had a quick 30 min phone chat with the IF counsellor at my clinic and honestly it was more useful than the 8 hours of non infertility counselling that I had. They just get it. visit www . bica . net to find one near you (can't post websites sorry!). Also have you thought about trying another adoption agency? Apologies if you have,but I know that here in Scotland, you can go to your local authority, or there are some charities that are agencies too, Barnardos is one of them, maybe worth a second opinion on the situation. Again, apologies if you have already been down this road.

littleme82 - i know what you mean about expecting sad news. I really do struggle to see a time when I will ever be pregnant, it just doesn't feel like it will ever happen for me. Consider IVF carefully, maybe visit a few clinics and get an idea on costs. A slightly cheaper option could be to pay to use your NHS clinic. we did that and it was about £1k cheaper than the fully private clinics here. I know it is different in each area though.

I've not got the etiquette of these boards yet, so apologies if I don't thank your posts, I just don't know how to yet.

Hugs to those who need them, xx

time2deal

chickpea wrote: »

Hi everyone - sorry there's so much gloom around..

Primmer - everyone's story obviously is unique to them, but I do know a little bit how you feel. Sorry it all feels so hopeless at the moment.

It's not all over at 40 though! I had my 40th birthday last month - and at the time at least I thought I was pregnant, didn't know then that I had already had a mmc. But I am hugely encouraged that I did manage to conceive at nearly 40, even if it didn't work out. I hope your journey isn't over, even if it feels hopeless.

I believed at the time it was losing weight and eating a high protein diet that helped me conceive (although I know you have mf issues to contend with, which I don't.) So I'm back on my diet of principally eggs, chicken and fish for now!

Tea Lover - I'm going to push to get signed off work as long as I can after this m/c - sod work, I'm more important, and I need time to heal. Maybe some time would help you to get back some joie de vivre. Sorry if that sounds patronising, I don't mean to be. I feel for you at the moment, I know everyone else does.

++++++++

5 days post SMOM (surgical management of miscarriage - it's the new, and improved, name for the ERPC (Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception).)

I have a faint, but diminishing, line on HPTs, and a gradually darkening line on OPKs - no idea yet if that's significant or not, but have resumed DTD just in case.

So I'm back on board, and would like added to the list idc - who's doing the list?!

My details are:

Chickpea, 40. TTC#2 since 09/09. Low AMH. 12 cycles Clomid BFN, 6 cycles ovulation induction (Gonal F + Ovitrelle) BFN. Natural BFP 06/13, MMC 08/13.

Tis me that updates the list, but I'll do it when I'm not using the phone.

Fingers crossed lucy, and hi to everyone else. Super tired tonight so will catch up properly later.

Peonie

I phoned the clinic to make sure they received the completed IVF eligibility funding questionnaire as I sent it 2 1/2 weeks ago. And we've got 2 funded cycles. Phew. They replied on the 31st June but we never received the letter. Hopefully we'll get the next one inviting us to the open evening.

We've still using the CBFM but I'm not sure if I've ovulated these last 2 cycles.

Well done Lucy, 15 eggs is great. I hope all of them are super duper tip top ones.

mrshappy

woohooo. 15 eggs, well done Lucy

Tea, I have nothing really to add to what has already been said, you need to look after yourself, your posts are so sad and I hope you're okay. After our failed ICSI I was signed off work for 3 weeks and it was the best thing for me at the time-I work supporting vulnerable ante and post natal clients-domestic violence victims, substance misusers, mums to be with learning difficulties etc and just couldn't deal with it at all

Hi SewIt, we are private Nuffield patients, we saw Dr Vanni at the Royal first, but as I have a son from a previous relationship we weren't entitled to any NHS treatment, but we still see Dr Vanni, who is adorable.

teaandcakeordeath

Tea. Stuff work- you're more important. I've been seeing an infertility counsellor since June and she has helped me SO much. I've been off work with depression (thanks infertility...) since April and am only now feeling remotely able to go back to it with a phased return at the end of August (I work in organ donation so it's a bit bleak). At first I felt incredibly guilty for not being at work but I was literally like a zombie and it felt like every day was a fight. For your own sake in your position I would take some time away from work, speak to your IVF clinic re. counselling and just have a good think about the future you deserve and if your OH deserves to be a part of it. Such big decisions can't be made while you're being pulled in all directions. We're worried about you. xx

Primmer. I'm so sorry it's so tough for you at the moment. Is there any course for appeal with regard to the finances in adoption? It seems totally ludicrous that there are kids out there crying out for mums and dads but a bit of debt (to try and be a mum/dad) stops you. Sewit gave a good link for infertility counsellors (http://www.bica.net/) hopefully there's one out there for you. Mine has given me some head space to deal with all of this rubbish and I want to keep her as a pet... though not sure that's allowed!