The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

MrsDavo

Oh tea I am sorry, sending you a hug xx

lucyloo77

Sending you great big hugs Tea. I'm so sorry, this infertility lark seriously sucks.

tea_lover

Aww, thanks ladies, I can feel the hugs!

It really does suck lucy, how's things with you? Hope you're ok x.

Floaty - think I may as well be out of the office for all the work I'm actually doing. But have already used up the "going to the archive" excuse for this week... will have to think of something else.

Now we need to decide whether to try again, or to give up on this test. On the plus side they did say if we give up at this stage they refund our money - so that's something! Plus of course the bigger decision of whether we try another ICSI cycle - with or without the DNA frag. results.

When we talked about it last night I suggested stealing a child but OH thought the outisde of our house would look rubbish on crimewatch.

MrsDavo

I'm sorry tea I don't really know anything about the test you were going for? Does that mean they couldn't do the test at all?

Your at this horrible point now where a very hard decision has to be made. And how can you decide to give up on a dream that everyone else achieve so easily - even when they don't want it??

Thinking of you xx

tea_lover

It's not one I'd heard of before our last appointment. Apparently they need at least 1 million sperm in the sample to do the fragmentation test - we didn't have that many so no test.

Does seem mad that the numbers need to be so high (for testing and conception) and yet you only need one little sperm to make a whole new person. Quite an inefficient and wasteful design I reckon!

Am tempted to say we'll just do another cycle without the test and hope that the sample is better on the day. But last time apparently there were no normal looking sperm at all - which makes me wonder why/how on earth we ended up with embryos at all - surely they were never going to be viable if the sperm was dodgy to start with??

I don't want to put either of us through another cycle that has no chance of success. And I definitely don't want to keep putting OH through SAs if the results are always going to be bad, it's not fair on him.

Gah... I don't know what to do.

lucyloo77

Tea, how much is a new cycle going to cost? (egg sharing cycle, right?). And, if I remember rightly, you've got one quick shot at that before you turn 35, right?

I'm going to be very honest (sorry if over-stepping the mark, I'm not trying to tell you what to do) - I'd go ahead with the new cycle regardless. I think for your own peace of mind and sanity you need to feel like you've tried everything you possibly could. Plus, you DID make embryos. Two in fact! And you DID have a positive pg test. There is hope.

Hugs to you. I know it's so hard xx

MrsDavo

tea_lover wrote: »

It's not one I'd heard of before our last appointment. Apparently they need at least 1 million sperm in the sample to do the fragmentation test - we didn't have that many so no test.

Does seem mad that the numbers need to be so high (for testing and conception) and yet you only need one little sperm to make a whole new person. Quite an inefficient and wasteful design I reckon!

Am tempted to say we'll just do another cycle without the test and hope that the sample is better on the day. But last time apparently there were no normal looking sperm at all - which makes me wonder why/how on earth we ended up with embryos at all - surely they were never going to be viable if the sperm was dodgy to start with??

I don't want to put either of us through another cycle that has no chance of success. And I definitely don't want to keep putting OH through SAs if the results are always going to be bad, it's not fair on him.

Gah... I don't know what to do.

That is such a hard place to be in at the moment!

It's supposed to be survival of the fittest isn't it with these little fellas so that only the best make it. Surely there is one little guy in your man that is good to go.

I don't really know what to say tea, apart from I'm sorry. I've no idea what I would do in your situation.
Just want to give you a huge hug right now. Be kind to yourself xxx

lucyloo77

Ok....just been to the loo at work and AF has arrived. So all systems go now for our new ICSI cycle. Will phone the clinic in a minute on my lunch break and presumably it will be baseline scan and Gonal f tomorrow. Eeek.

Part_Mouse

Lucy how exciting for you, I really hope it works out for you.

Xx

time2deal

Tea - that's really hard news. It seems neverending doesn't it!

If the finances work for an egg-sharing cycle then I agree with lucyloo, I'd go for it. Remember the fragmentation test is optional, so it can't be THAT important, or they would require it every single time.

Lucy - exciting news on the ICSI cycle! Do you want to let us know the dates and I'll update the list so we can all be nosy bystanders through it.