The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

MrsDavo

I can completely see where your coming from Tea and in your situation I'm not sure I would continue with icsi or IVF. To know that there would be more chance of it not working - I think I'd just be setting myself up for heartache when my heart would already be broken anyway.

I think TeamLowe got it spot on.

Hope that you and your OH have had chance to talk things over tonight?

On a good note if you'd like to hear some of mine, is that I got a strong positive OPK this evening! So we are DTD yesterday and today, will do Friday, Saturday, rest Sunday and then Monday again and hopefully I will actually ovulate this cycle lol.
Little bit tricky this DTD at the moment thought because we are currently away for a few days and sleeping in the same room as my DD - not much alone time at all! I will just have to find a way haha.

teaandcakeordeath

Tea that's a terrible position to be in. I've looked at egg sharing cycles (for when the two NHS ones fail obvs... :undecided) but the thought of it scares me in case the recipient got pregnant and I didn't. If I were in your position I'd be very much torn like you are. I think (and I'm coming at this from never having experienced a m/c so a different perspective) I'd feel like I *had* to do it just so that I knew I'd have given it the best shot possible. It's tough- there's so many pro's and con's. I hope you come to a decision you're content with and we're all here to support you. xx

I had my obstetrician appointment on Wednesday. It was in the hospital's ante-natal clinic so the 3 hours that we were in there were hellish (they'd 'forgotten about me and OH as we didn't have a pregnancy booking in file to remind them we were waiting- we stuck out like a sore thumb). It was like a cross between the conveyor belt round on The Generation Game- just this endless parade of pregnant women, some with other kids in tow and the last round in Bullseye- 'look what you could've won'. Came out somewhat overwrought! Basically the appointment was OK though. The Dr didn't think that if I got pregnant they would automatically default to a caesarian birth but obviously that would depend on presentation. Just hearing that a natural birth (though not a home birth) was an option made all of this seem possible again. I know the odds are still very much against us but occasionally (stupidly) I still get these little flares of hope going off.

time2deal

(just lost my whole post.. grrr..)

Rowinggirl - Welcome! I've added you to this list.

I know it's bad, but doing a list at least makes me feel slightly less alone! It does feel sometimes like everyone is moving on and leaving you behind.

Pretty rubbish day for me. I had another scan, and I have ovulated (CD9!) but there is lots of fluid in the uterus, even more than there was earlier in the week. You can see it clearly on the ultrasound, a black stripe. So that's not great.

Then they tried the dummy embryo transfer, which was about 20 minutes of poking and prodding, with no success. Eventually gave up, and have written to my surgeon to say that it looks like at least partial stenosis. Which I suppose I knew was possible, but it's always hard to hear. I was so hopeful we could start IVF next cycle, but that doesn't look possible now.

Seeing the surgeon on 15 August, and the IVF clinic have suggested they do a dilation operation, or even leave in a stent of some sort so ensure it stays open.

Just another delay. I even managed to convince DH to BD last night when I suspected I was ovulating, but that's no use with a uterus full of liquid, and a blocked up cervix! More waiting, quite upset today after it all.

Whattodonow

Sorry to hear of your dilemma tea. For what it's worth, I am amazed you are speaking so much sense at the moment, you really are a strong lady.

TCD urgh I remember going through that when I had I have an ultrasound. All these "ladies" started arguing with each other as their had been some dirty looks apparently. Made me mad!! Happy for your flares of hope

Whattodonow

Oh TTD, that is sh*te. I'm so sorry. I don't know what stenosis is but I'm going to google it now. X

Whattodonow

So it's a narrowing of the cervix? What about the fluid do they know what that is?

time2deal

Stenosis is from the surgery I had. Trachelectomy - it's a known side effect, which I have suspected for a while, but the doctors weren't listening to me.

Trachelectomy

(So there isn't actually a cervix there. It's just sort of the end of the uterus, held together with stitches)

The fluid could be blood from an incomplete period, or other fluids that would normally flow through. I feel like the blood has to build up, then force itself out when it gets too much, but not everything comes out. Although, when they did the scan last week (just before my period) it looked normal with no fluid - so I could be totally wrong.

The stenosis is caused by scar tissue, so it could be getting worse over time.

Whattodonow

Ah ok I get it. Balls. If it was blood though wouldn't it slowly come out over your cycle? And you'd notice that right?

It's frustrating when they don't listen to you. You know your own body best. What could you tell from what they said? Will an op sort it do you think? Another step on a long journey. But you will get there xx

When I last saw gynaecology doctor I told him how clomid effed up my cycles. I know it made me ov early for two cycles and not ov at all for one cycle. This was backed up by my temps and my monitor. Response "throw away monitor And stop temping. Just relax and have sex in middle of cycle"
Like I hadn't already tried that!

time2deal

No blood coming out. The ultrasound lady kept asking me that - is your period still ongoing? But it only arrives for a day max, very heavy, and then stops dead. No spotting or anything before or after.

I've only got a small sample set to work with though. Only been 4 periods since Feb, and one was after 3 months break and felt like 3 months period all in one go. They showed me the letter they are sending to the surgeon and it's pretty definitive that something has to be done. Hopefully I won't get another 'wait' appointment with him!

Anyway, nothing to be done today. At least I'm regularly ovulating, and that looks normal. And DH is taking his vitamins. We will get there, and the clinic are nice and positive. I was just so hoping to be getting somewhere soon, as we are going back to Australia soon enough, and I know that whole process will require a 6 month break while we move.

Primmer

Time2Deal - huge hugs can only imagine how frustrating it is to have more delays. It is good that the clinic are positive as that is a good sign.