The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

codemonkey

Hope everything goes ok for you T2D.

Blood tests didn't go well. She couldn't find a vein that would give blood and when she eventually did the blood was really dark. I have plasters on each arm. It's a good job I'm not afraid of needles as she did a bit of digging.

Primmer

FA - how frustrating for you. I remover how annoyed I got when I couldn't book hsg due to problems with the hospital. You just want to go ahead with things so that it feels like its progressing.

Code - ouch for blood tests!

tea_lover

Code, that sounds painful! Could be a bit of dehydration, it's amazing how much we need to drink when it's warm. Hope the results come back soon and are good news.

fannyanna - hope you manage to get the HSG booked soon. I think the dealing with receptionists part is generally worse than the actual treatment.

time2deal

emmaj30 wrote: »

first appointment at fertility clinic in two hours... start of a long journey...

Exciting times. I hope it went well - I do find the FS can be sometimes a bit depressing when they talk stats, but remember it's the first of many available ste[s.

Derby2 wrote: »

AFM, well we have our first IVF appointment in a couple of weeks. I'm pleased it's getting moving, but overall feeling like it's not going to work (where's my PMA?!?). What I can say is since being pregnant before, it has changed my whole view of egg donation (which I suspect is the route we'll ultimately have to go down) and I would definitely look to go down this route. The main thing that puts me off is the change in the law to do with anonymity, but that wouldn't put me off enough I don't think.

Anyway, hugs to everyone.

Good luck on the IVF. I know the feeling of it feeling like it won't work though. In my heart I can't imagine how it could happen to me - but I'm trying to stay positive.

I did actually broach the subject today with DH of when do we stop. In truth we have barely started - the first IVF was only for creating embryo storage, but since the cancer I am starting to think that I don't want to waste my life wishing for something that won't happen. I'm trying to not let ttc ruin or define my life.

I will be sad if I can't have my own children, but we will find a way to be a family, even if the family is just us, and I am starting to imagine that I could be happy with that if I have to be. 1 year ago I couldn't say that, and I'm not there yet, but it no longer seems like a bottomless pit of despair if I can't have my own kids.

(wow, that got more intense than expected!)

fannyanna wrote: »

AFM – CD110 today. I am seriously p*ssed off. I went to the doctors this morning to see if they could give me something to induce AF but she just suggested increasing Metformin (which doesn’t seem to work at all for me).

She suggested calling the fertility clinic to see if the specialist can suggest something. I’m desperately waiting for AF so that I can have this stupid HSG and get it out of the way. Plus I want to book a holiday and feel like I can’t until I’ve had the HSG. At the rate I’m going I could be waiting until nextyear.

Can I just say - that all sux. Waiting waiting waiting is so hard, and this isn't the first time you have had a long cycle if I recall correctly.

(as an aside - you know you have been ttc'ing for a long time when you know the normal cycles of people you have never met!)

Any chance of changing doctors? Or going for a private consult? Although, I can tell you that one of the best gynae's in the country also just told me to wait.

codemonkey wrote: »

Hope everything goes ok for you T2D.

Blood tests didn't go well. She couldn't find a vein that would give blood and when she eventually did the blood was really dark. I have plasters on each arm. It's a good job I'm not afraid of needles as she did a bit of digging.

I find it oddly fascinating giving blood and things, so don't mind the digging. Although it can be weird! Hope the tests come back with good news at least.

time2deal

So - my news. Had a good consultation with the doctor. She listened to my long/messy cycles stories, and said my 'period' sounded more like a haemmorage rather than a period.

She told me that the scan I had in May showed I had ovulated, so I should have had a period 10 days or so later. The fact that I didn't means it probably IS stenosis (blocking from the scar tissue from the cancer surgery), but they want to do a tracking cycle to confirm. The surgeon never told me that in May, so by the time I had the massive bleed in late June it could well have been 3 months of lining forcing it's way out. I knew I was ovulating/getting period pain - but just not bleeding. That means its not 'stress', it's a side effect from the surgery - maybe.

Mildly annoyed by this. I sometimes get the feeling my surgeon is a bit precious about his success rates. So he would rather it be my hormones (and the illusive stress) rather than anything from the surgery. He wouldn't listen to me that I wasn't stressed. And, as he refused to say it was a side effect of the surgery I am no longer covered by my private health, so I am having to pay for these investigations. Going via NHS seems impossible now with so many doctors already involved. I will be doubly annoyed if I pay a fortune for a tracked cycle, when he could have simply said 'it could be a side effect of the surgery, so you, mr insurance, should pay to help her find out'. Instead he said 'I'm sure its nothing to do with the cancer, looks like a hormonal problem, so any investigation is 'fertility treatment' and so not covered by insurance'.

That was quite ranty! But otherwise the visit was good. She was keen for me to do a trial FET (without the embryo) to make sure it's still possible to get in there. And agreed we can start another fresh cycle if we want asap. I have to wait until late August anyway, so no massive rush. I had a scan today and I have a 10mm lining, which is normal at this stage of the cycle, and I should have a period soon (it's due today or tomorrow).

If I don't, then I'm going back sooner rather than later. The doc said - if you are ovulating, and not having a period - then it must be stenosis. So one way or the other at least I will find out.

(stenosis is fixable - just another small surgery. But obviously if that is the case it takes more time)

one minor addition: Does anyone find an internal ultrasound painful? I never did before, but now they are really deeply painful every time. I know there is a major surgery site in there - but just wondered if it hurt for other people, or just another nice addition to my life!

fannyanna

time2deal wrote: »

Can I just say - that all sux. Waiting waiting waiting is so hard, and this isn't the first time you have had a long cycle if I recall correctly.

(as an aside - you know you have been ttc'ing for a long time when you know the normal cycles of people you have never met!)

Any chance of changing doctors? Or going for a private consult? Although, I can tell you that one of the best gynae's in the country also just told me to wait.

It does suck.

My cycles are just messed up generally. I range from constant bleeding for months to absolutely nothing for months. It's so frustrating.

I think I'll try increased Metformin for a few weeks and if that doesn't do anything I'll try get hold of the fertility specialist and hope that she'll suggest something.

The most annoying thing is that I'm pretty miserable at the moment (work is absolutely awful at the moment) and just feel like I need a holiday to have a break from life - but I can't really book one at the mo.

Ah well.

time2deal wrote: »

So - my news. Had a good consultation with the doctor. She listened to my long/messy cycles stories, and said my 'period' sounded more like a haemmorage rather than a period.

She told me that the scan I had in May showed I had ovulated, so I should have had a period 10 days or so later. The fact that I didn't means it probably IS stenosis (blocking from the scar tissue from the cancer surgery), but they want to do a tracking cycle to confirm. The surgeon never told me that in May, so by the time I had the massive bleed in late June it could well have been 3 months of lining forcing it's way out. I knew I was ovulating/getting period pain - but just not bleeding. That means its not 'stress', it's a side effect from the surgery - maybe.

Mildly annoyed by this. I sometimes get the feeling my surgeon is a bit precious about his success rates. So he would rather it be my hormones (and the illusive stress) rather than anything from the surgery. He wouldn't listen to me that I wasn't stressed. And, as he refused to say it was a side effect of the surgery I am no longer covered by my private health, so I am having to pay for these investigations. Going via NHS seems impossible now with so many doctors already involved. I will be doubly annoyed if I pay a fortune for a tracked cycle, when he could have simply said 'it could be a side effect of the surgery, so you, mr insurance, should pay to help her find out'. Instead he said 'I'm sure its nothing to do with the cancer, looks like a hormonal problem, so any investigation is 'fertility treatment' and so not covered by insurance'.

That was quite ranty! But otherwise the visit was good. She was keen for me to do a trial FET (without the embryo) to make sure it's still possible to get in there. And agreed we can start another fresh cycle if we want asap. I have to wait until late August anyway, so no massive rush. I had a scan today and I have a 10mm lining, which is normal at this stage of the cycle, and I should have a period soon (it's due today or tomorrow).

If I don't, then I'm going back sooner rather than later. The doc said - if you are ovulating, and not having a period - then it must be stenosis. So one way or the other at least I will find out.

(stenosis is fixable - just another small surgery. But obviously if that is the case it takes more time)

one minor addition: Does anyone find an internal ultrasound painful? I never did before, but now they are really deeply painful every time. I know there is a major surgery site in there - but just wondered if it hurt for other people, or just another nice addition to my life!

:beer:

This is excellent. I can understand your frustration about it not going through the insurance but I'm so pleased for you that this doctor seems really good.

And as for maybe knowing what the problem is that's even better. Ok, it will be cr*p to have another surgery but if it fixes the problems that's brilliant.

As for the scan - I find I often get twinges where I had my LLETZ (which is obviously nothing like what you had to go through) and find anything internal is more uncomfortable than it used to be. For me, I've put it down to the scar tissue so wonder if this could be the same for you.

time2deal

You are right fannyanna - it was mainly good news, or at least good to have someone listening. I'm not afraid of more surgery, and it would be small. Just an excuse for a bit more time off work! In only working to fill time between appointments and while waiting for our Australian visa.

Good to get progress. I'm still vaguely hopeful I can be pregnant by the anniversary of my diagnosis on 7 December. Would be a miracle, but I'll keep hoping!

Nicki

Glad you had a helpful appointment time2deal. Is it worth do you think speaking to insurers again and explaining that having paid for a consultation privately it transpires this IS a post surgery complication and will they now extend cover to sort it out?

emmaj30

Thanks everyone for good luck messages.
Appointment went well today. Said that hubby sperm is normal and my tests are good but have to get day 3 done now. Have to go for a chlamydia swab on monday and blood tests on day 2-4 period. Then its waiting for next appointment where we will see doctor and get scan sorted out. Glad we are on road now ....

time2deal

Nicki wrote: »

Glad you had a helpful appointment time2deal. Is it worth do you think speaking to insurers again and explaining that having paid for a consultation privately it transpires this IS a post surgery complication and will they now extend cover to sort it out?

Hi. Yes I actually did exactly that and they said they would review the decision and backdate the payments if it proves to be a side effect. Which is great news.

Watching for AF now, and at least I know someone is listening and taking me seriously.