The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

fluffnutter

time2deal wrote: »

We, thankfully, have savings. I was just talking to my cousin who has two kids and she was saying they were a bit skint since having the kids - so I guess having years to save without the costs means we are a little more comfortable than our child-bearing friends.

I would swap it all though. And given enough cycles of IVF I probably will have!

But seriously, I work in city in London with what I consider a silly salary but even we struggle with £6000+ per cycle. I worked out that I spent over £10k last year on health/fertility/chinese medicine etc. (Mind you, I do include the odd therapeutic massage in the health category!)

Freddie probably cost about £20K. It's a cliche but you don't regret the money. He's worth every penny. I saved for years and years and years. I went without holidays, clothes, gadgets, moving house, new car etc. etc. I know some people probably aren't in a position to save as much as we managed, but even so, everyone has to make sacrifices. Nothing was handed to me on a plate.

time2deal

fluffnutter wrote: »

Freddie probably cost about £20K. It's a cliche but you don't regret the money. He's worth every penny. I saved for years and years and years. I went without holidays, clothes, gadgets, moving house, new car etc. etc. I know some people probably aren't in a position to save as much as we managed, but even so, everyone has to make sacrifices. Nothing was handed to me on a plate.

I don't think I would regret it, its money I'm happy to spend.

However, that's easier to say when you can afford it. Trying (and possibly failing) won't mean I can't buy a house, or face years of paying of debts... but I know for some people it would - and those are tough choices.

It's annoying that it is sooooo expensive to get IVF, but so cheap if you don't need it!

VK-2008

Hey guys and girls
Not commented in a few months
In the 2ww of my 5th iui
This month we had 3 mature follies
And about ten immature ones
Eeeekkkkk
Exciting!
Fingers crossed it works
Got a cheeky summer holiday booked next month so it will give me time to rest
Wee trip to Ireland just too relax
Yeah!!!

Part_Mouse

VK Really hope its your lucky month.

xx

fluffnutter

time2deal wrote: »

I don't think I would regret it, its money I'm happy to spend.

However, that's easier to say when you can afford it. Trying (and possibly failing) won't mean I can't buy a house, or face years of paying of debts... but I know for some people it would - and those are tough choices.

It's annoying that it is sooooo expensive to get IVF, but so cheap if you don't need it!

Bring on this new technique, that's all I can say. It cuts the cost of IVF to about two or three hundred quid, apparently. How fantastic is that?

Peonie

I wonder how long it will take for the new technique to become mainstream and how much the clinics will cut down the bills by.

Floaty

Good morning all

I've been lurking a little but not posting because I've been busy and feeling a bit jaded by all things ttc so my apologies for not congratulating those who have had good news, and I send belated hugs to those who've had a less good time.

I wonder if anyone has any good advice to share - we have our first appt tomorrow with our local NHS hospital FS... What sensible questions should we ask that you guys know about because of your hindsight and greater perspective?!

Thank you in advance for any replies xxx

tea_lover

Hi floaty, I'm trying to think back to our first appt but it's all a bit hazy lol. From what I remember they go through a general history of both of you (any children/pg's, diagnosed medical problems, how long you've been trying, anything you've tried so far, etc).

I'm sure they did give us the chance to ask questions but it's difficult to know what to say - it's one of those places where everybody already knows the outcome you're all hoping for!

My advice (fwiw) would just be to make sure you have an idea of what the next step(s) will be before you leave. There's nothing more annoying than getting back in the car, looking at each other, and realising that neither of you have a clue what happens next.... but maybe we're just rubbish at listening!

ETA: I've woken up with a cold... !!!!!!?! It was the hottest weekend of the year, all I did was lie around the house reading and occasionally pop out for a birthday meal (2, not bad for one weekend). How have I got a cold?? My face hurts!

MrsDavo

Floaty wrote: »

Good morning all

I've been lurking a little but not posting because I've been busy and feeling a bit jaded by all things ttc so my apologies for not congratulating those who have had good news, and I send belated hugs to those who've had a less good time.

I wonder if anyone has any good advice to share - we have our first appt tomorrow with our local NHS hospital FS... What sensible questions should we ask that you guys know about because of your hindsight and greater perspective?!

Thank you in advance for any replies xxx

Hi Floaty,

We are in Derbyshire so not sure if it will be different where you are but we had our first FS appointment in May. The consultant said as soon as we went in that no treatment options would be discussed at that appointment and that it was purely a history taking appointment.

She asked our histories as tealover said earlier, any miscarriages, pregnancy's, children. Any STD's and cycle lengths for me etc. Smoker or not, how much alcohol you drink, weight height and they work out your BMI - although she got both of ours wrong. They didnt do out weight and height there just asked us what it was, which if you don't weight yourself regularly you won't know.

Then they said I had to do an HSG ( x-ray of your tubes to see if they are blocked ) and repeat a day 21 test. OH didn't have to do anything because he had already done 2 sperm tests.

They also gave me provera to bring on a cycle because I never know how long mine will be. After doing the HSG and day 21 I just had to wait and got a letter from them 4 weeks after giving me an appointment for July.

Hope it goes well for you and that helps a bit. xxx

time2deal

Agree with the ladies above. I found the first visits a bit unsatifying, as I felt it was basic stuff that we all know already - especially if you have been on these sites for a while. I suppose some people don't know their cycle etc but it may be worth mentioning that you have been tracking for a while.

I'd also suggest asking are their any tests you can get done at the GP that you should get started with. If you are going to get to IVF then you both need to get tested for Hep B (two types of tests), Hep C, HIV, Clammydia, get a smear test done plus a few others. I know getting my DH to arrange that took weeks... and then weeks for results. So might be worth getting started if you can.

Especially if you go private, as otherwise you could end up with hundreds of pounds of surprise tests! Plus, it makes you feel like you are progressing with things.