The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

lucyloo77

Hi everyone

Primmer, so sorry to hear you've had such a frustrating setback. I agree that it's ridiculous. Maybe they want to make sure the debt isn't going to increase, so by showing willing and paying off some of it (even though you can't clear it all) then it will show them it's all under control. ((hugs)) xx

Welcome Mrsvix!

T2D, sorry to hear you're not getting the help you need. Your plan of action sounds good though - good luck with WW! xx

PM - big ((hugs)). So sorry to hear you're having a rotten time of it. xx

AFM: Well AF arrived on Wednesday last week, so it turned out to be pretty much on time in the end. So it will be all systems go for ICSI attempt number 2 in early August by the looks of it. We're very, very lucky in that my lovely Mum is paying for us to have this go. We're off to the Larmer Tree festival next week (yaaaay, some time out to relax in the sunshine and try and forget all our troubles for a bit! ) so I'll give the clinic a ring before we go to arrange our new batch of drugs.

Tea, when's your holiday? Hope you're doing ok hun. xx

claire16c

The other thing that I've just thought of primmer is that surely even if you were to get onto that adoption course earlier than the silly manager wanted its not like they would give you a child straight away, so surely they should be allowing for the fact that it could take say a year, which would be more time for the debt to be paid off. They seem to be acting as though its all happening imminently and don't seem to have thought of this??

Part_Mouse

Thanks for all the support girls, means a lot. Tea the wall to wall bad news is very hard to bear all the time, so soul destroying.

xx

time2deal

Went to the doctor this morning (NHS) and she was really nice. I was calm too- I think I have cried at every doctors appointment recently! But managed to be my normal happyish self today. She has referred me for IVF, but didn't know much about it, including how many gos I get. I'm hoping the referral will be a general gynae consultation as I would like some general hormonal monitoring/fixing if possible.

She asked why I didn't go NHS last time, and I couldn't really say why. I'm overweight, but last year I was so sensitive about it I think I was too scared/embarrassed about that. It feels such a silly thing now. Its still a problem, but somehow less emotive at the moment. Definitely a change in perspective this year.

Now I have to choose which hospital for Ivf. Anyone know anything about Chelsea and westminster hospital vs st Marys vs queen Charlotte hospital in west london?

time2deal

Nicki wrote: »

Good luck with ww. I joined 9 weeks ago and have lost 18lbs so far with almost no effort. It's the first time I've done it and I've been very pleasantly surprised. Have definitely eaten more on their plan than when I have just lost weight on my own.

Nicki - do you know if you buy the monthly pass for WW, can you go to any meeting? I want to start today, but the nearest meeting is ok for today, but not in future. I can't seem to find the answer on their website.

Normally I would probably go in the city, but flexibility would help.

tea_lover

lucyloo77 wrote: »

Hi Tea, when's your holiday? Hope you're doing ok hun. xx

Holiday was last week and it was fantastic. Was so nice to relax, drink a bit, eat a lot, have caffeine and generally not think about infertility, work or anything else. OH and I had one argument the whole time we were away which is unheard of for us! We manage to argue most days at home and we hardly even see each other lol.

I made a conscious decision before we went not to talk about IVF or anything like that when we were away so it was just a nice chilled week of lounging in the sun, drinking cocktails and playing bingo. Just a shame we had to come back really!

The plan for now is arrange the sperm DNA fragmentation test and then see what that tells us. I need to call the clinic to arrange that but haven’t had a minute the last few days. Hopefully we can get that done and get the results pretty quickly, and then we’ll make the call on whether we have another ICSI cycle as egg sharers. If we’re doing that it has to be before Jan (when I’m 35 – eek!!) so we do need to get our act together quite quickly.

From the tests we’ve had so far I get the impression the sperm results will say there’s not much point having another cycle. Not sure what we’ll do then. I’d happily use donor sperm but OH won’t even consider it so I have some pretty big decisions to make.

Nicki

time2deal wrote: »

Nicki - do you know if you buy the monthly pass for WW, can you go to any meeting? I want to start today, but the nearest meeting is ok for today, but not in future. I can't seem to find the answer on their website.

Normally I would probably go in the city, but flexibility would help.

Yes you can go to any meeting with the monthly pass but you will have a home group and leader who hold your main records. So it might be best to register for the first time at the meeting you will attend most often. You do have a handheld record which you carry around too but I don't think another meeting can work out when your points need to change without the main record card.

Primmer

PartMouse - sending huge hugs,its awful when it all appears to be bad news and we all feel low at these times and are here for you.

T2D - glad you got on ok at the doctors and hope you hear about the referral soon.

TL - sounds a lovely holiday. Really hope that the test results will not be as bad as you fear. I will keep everything crossed for you.

AFM - thanks to cwtw and all of you for your messages. The manager said she will review again in September and see how much we have paid off by then but that is only two monthly payments and whilst the payments we make will be more than the minimuym payments there will obviously still be quite a debt and unfortunately we have no-one who we could borrow the money from. My DH is working all day, some evenings and weekends to try to earn as much as possible to pay towards the debt in the next couple of months but that isn't helping me as I am still on crutches from my knee operation last month and so spending a lot of time on my own not being able to do much which is making me feel very sorry for myself on top of everything else We will see how much we can repay by beginning of September but if we still don't get the go ahead we will have to consider whether to try a different adoption agency or whether to just call it a day

Part_Mouse

Primmer and tea sounds like you might have to make some very tough decisions which is really unfair considering all you have been through, I really hope things work out for you.

Xx

flutterby_lil

Primmer, we have just dealt with a company called adoption matters, and although our circumstances are different to yours, we cannot fault them.

We had originally put our request into Lancashire County Council, who referred us to the private company who they were using to "contract" work out.

Good luck in September.