The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Birdie85

Thanks for the congratulations ladies, I hope with all my heart you'll be joining us sooner rather than later!

Peonie, I just woke my OH up on Sunday morning waving the test in his face, was too impatient to think of a cute way to do it! He's really cautious right now as he doesn't want to get his hopes if things go wrong but he's getting steadily more excited each day and he's already overhauled the fridge so I'm eating the right things! He told me this morning that we should call the baby 'Twennion' which is 'Twenty-and-one' said quickly i.e. 20 fails for 1 success! :rotfl:

Massive, huge hugs for you Lucy. Wish there was a magic wand I could wave.

Is your OH totally against the idea of a donor Tea? Surely that would work out a lot cheaper and less invasive if you could try IUI that way. Sorry if this has already been dismissed, just trying to think of ways that would end up with a baby in your arms!

tea_lover

Morning ladies, just thought I’d let you know how we got on this morning.

We saw a different consultant and she was lovely, first thing she said was how sorry she was about the miscarriage, and how hard it must be to have got so far. At times it’s felt like I’m the only one that actually sees it as a miscarriage so it was good to hear it acknowledged.

She went through the whole process in quite a lot of detail – looking at quality of each egg, sperm sample, embryos, etc. Apparently the egg number and quality was good, and the issues are pretty much on the male side. Which isn’t ideal of course as it’s yet another blow to the super-fragile male ego…. and harder (if not impossible!) for me to do anything about.

She recommended a sperm DNA fragmentation test (approx. £450). Has anyone had this done?

As I’m under 35 (for a few months only!) and had a good response last time they said we could consider an egg sharing cycle. We’d pay the HFEA fee (£75 I think) and the ICSI cost (£500 – we get the standard IVF free, then pay for the extra cost of ICSI). So we could get another cycle for about £600.

OH has been given a prescription for some antibiotics as apparently he has too many round cells… whatever they are. Also the standard advice again about alcohol, caffeine, general lifestyle.

They also mentioned donor sperm but OH definitely won’t consider that.

She said we could try more ovulation induction (ie. clomid) but the odds aren’t great as ov. isn’t really the main issue.

So not too bad – we did come out of it with some positives and some possible ideas of what to try next. I think I’d like to try another cycle using egg sharing, so now I just need to talk OH round.

fannyanna

:hello: Can I come and join you guys please?

lilymay1

Tea - So pleased you had a good meeting. I hope you are able to convince your OH to start thinking 'outside the box' a little more

Primmer

Fannyanna - welcome to the thread but sorry to see you over here if you know what I mean!

Tea - that does sound positive and if you could egg share that would make it a lot easier to find the funds for. Can't help about the DNA fragmentation but I do know that the more information they have the more they can try and assist and so it may be worth considering if that is where they think there may be a problem.

claire16c

Tea that sounds really positive, you get another ivf for free but pay the £1k towards costs and tests? I hope your OH comes round!

Floaty

Hi fannyanna! Sorry you're here but you're very welcome too iyswim...

Floaty

tea_lover

lilymay1 wrote: »

Tea - So pleased you had a good meeting. I hope you are able to convince your OH to start thinking 'outside the box' a little more

Thanks, me too! It's like pulling teeth with him. All he hears is "poor SA results"... which to him means no point trying anything else, and to me means what do we need to do next then.

lilymay1

tea_lover wrote: »

Thanks, me too! It's like pulling teeth with him. All he hears is "poor SA results"... which to him means no point trying anything else, and to me means what do we need to do next then.

I really hope he comes round. I can't imagine how hard it must be when you feel like you are banging your head against a wall. Perhaps male factor infertility does something to their brains that we can't understand.

I will keep my fingers firmly crossed for you.

fannyanna

Thanks forthe welcome.

I’ve beenthinking about moving over for a while now. I’ve gone past the two year marknow and I’ve got my first appointment at the fertility clinic next week.
I guess I’veput off moving over as I just feel as though I don’t have anything going on.Just getting AF would be quite exciting for me at the moment (CD63 today Ithink) :cool:


Edit - Sorry for the crazy font (no idea what happened there)!