The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

tea_lover

I was very disappointed with how some of my 'friends' have been about this too. Some of the people who I thought were my closest friends have been useless. They all knew about the ICSI, and knew that I'd been pushed out of my job (so a pretty stressful time) and I've hardly heard from them. Apart from some a.rsey messages about meeting up in the summer which apparently I didn't reply to quickly enough (the day I was losing my baby).

I'm trying to be charitable and think that they just don't understand as they haven't been through it but it is hurtful.

lucyloo77 wrote: »

I feel like I must not be explaining it properly to people or something (even though I am) - It wasn't a negative cycle that didn't work. It wasn't that the embryo failed to implant. It did. It's just that I then lost it. Why don't people get that?????????

Oh I could have written that exactly. I feel like I'm almost not 'allowed' to grieve, because as far as other people see it there really wasn't anything there in the first place to feel grief about. Obviously no one has said that in as many words but that's how it's coming across.... and if one more person asks if I've considered adopting I might just slap them. Like you'd go up to someone recently widowed and ask if they've considered internet dating :mad:.

Floaty

Oh Lucy I'm sorry to hear that. It seems like this has been a crappy week for everyone

I've never known anyone IRL who's told me that they're having any treatment. We haven't told anyone else yet either. However itsounds really rubbish if you have chosen to share and then it's not mentioned. I don't know if I'd have the guts to ask someone about their treatment in case it upset or offended them, but I'll think again now.

Virtual weekend massive jugs to you all! Xx

Primmer

Lucy - huge hugs honey, I really am truly sorry to hear your news. I think people just don't get fertility treatment at all. One friend tells me that if I just relax and forget about ttc it will happen :mad: yeah cos having two embryos put back in didn't work and we have been ttc for 3.5 yrs but all I need to do is just chill out :mad: I never had a postive text from my ivf so cannot inagine how awful it must be to have worked and then lost it but I do know the hurt, anger and sadness of finding out that my two embies didn't stick. Take time for yourself and your dh, and remember that on here there are people who have been through it and we are here to help each other xx

PartMouse - so sorry hun, sending hugs. Have they said what the next step is.

Becca - i understand your frustrations and hope you do ov soon - hugs

lucyloo77

I'm feeling really, really glad right now that I have here and you guys to rant / talk / commiserate / share with. Seriously, you lot on here totally do rock. xx

Part_Mouse

Primmer I need to decide by Tuesday if I want to o with surgery or injections, really not sure what to do

xx

fannyanna

Lucy & Tea (and I'm sure this is relevant to others too),

I'm really sorry that you haven't had the acknowledgement and support that you deserve in real life. I can imagine how angry and hurt that must make you feel.

Not that it's any comfort but I really do thing that people aren't able to truly empathise if they haven't been through the same thing (or are in a similar enough position to imagine how it would feel).

I know that I previously wouldn't have been able to put myself in the situation. I'd like to thing that I'd still be able to lend a shoulder but I probably wouldn't have been much comfort.

I still haven't walked in your shoes but I'm now in a position where I can appreciate the grief you must be feeling. I remember lurking on this thread and reading your post tea and I cried. We don't know each other in real life (and I'm honestly not a stalker lol) but through these threads we're able to connect with people who are in similar situations. And I'm glad that you are both (and everyone else) able to find support and empathy from the threads. We might not be able to wipe the tears from your eyes but we can certainly give you dodgy group hugs :grouphug:

tea_lover

I think that's the loveliest thing I've ever read

angeltreats

Just delurking to send Lucy a huge, huge hug. And also one for Tea.

I can't even imagine how horrible it must be to have been pregnant, even for such a short time, but have everyone treat it as if it never happened. Much love to you both x

claire16c

Fanny anna I'm about to go back to work and your post has made me all tearful you're such a sweetheart!

becca0417

Huge hugs tea and lucy. Fannyanna's post was lovely and I really do wish there was something as lovely I can say. But just hugs to you both x

Sorry for moaning earlier ladies, I do realise I've had it easy compared to most of you xx