The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

becca0417

Just have to wait and ov sometime when my ovaries feel like it. What's the point? Hasn't done us any good so far. I'm on a right one!

lucyloo77

Well done on the weight loss mrsH! That's brilliant.

Hope your scan goes well today PM.

Hope you're doing ok Becca.

AFM: Did my test this morning - BFN, so obviously my HCG stopped increasing. I expected it really, as I've been bleeding too. I have phoned the clinic and am just waiting for them to call me back to confirm cancelling Monday's blood test / to stop the progesterone / where we go from here. So yeah, that's that then.

tea_lover

Oh lucy, am so sorry to hear that. I was thinking about you loads last night (hope that doesn't sound too stalker-ish!) I really do know how you feel, if you ever want a chat/rant/whinge xx.

bigzippy

So sorry Lucy


(Still keeping an eye on you guys )

lucyloo77

Thank you guys. And I may well take you up on that very kind offer Tea - it's so hard isn't it, hardly anyone in real life seems to really "get it" do they.

I'm just feeling really, really sad and kind of hopeless today. Am still off work for now (til the 19th). OH is at work but I'm lucky that both my Mum and my sister live very nearby to me. They've both been brilliant through this whole process, don't know what I would have done without them. Will go over to my Mum's this afternoon for some company and take her dog out for a walk if the hideous rain here clears up a bit.

tea_lover

Boo to rain, hope it clears quickly. It sounds like a nice walk might really help - although I think there's also a lot to be said for curling up on the sofa with constant friends re-runs. Being off work sounds like a v good idea, and advice I wish I'd taken!

Really sad and kind of hopeless pretty much sums it up. And I totally know what you mean about people not really "getting it". I find the people I've spoken to IRL try their best but no one really seems to be able to see it quite from my perspective. One thing I've found really hard is that my parents and sister (who were great throughout IVF, and at the time of the miscarriage) haven't mentioned it since that day. I know they just don't know what to say, and don't want to make things worse - but to me it feels like my baby never existed to anyone else. I feel like other people see it as a cycle that didn't work, but it did. It worked, and I was pg, just for a really short time. In the 6 weeks since it happened, the only person that's mentioned the miscarriage was the consultant we say yesterday. I feel like no one cares tbh.

B.o.llocks. I'm supposed to be cheering you up but all I've done is made myself cry. I am a rubbish counsellor!! I do know there's nothing useful any of us can say, other than we know what you're going through and we're all sending the biggest hugs xx.

vseviour

Sat here with tears in my eyes for you all. So sorry Lucy. Wish I could say something, anything, to make it easier x

claire16c

So sorry Lucy x

Part_Mouse

So sorry lucy. Hugs for you.
Im so sad now our last go at tamoxafin looks like its failed once again no follies.

lucyloo77

Oh Tea, that's exactly spot on. I think everyone also sees is as a cycle that didn't work - but it DID. Just for a very short time, even shorter than yours, but it DID WORK. I feel like I must not be explaining it properly to people or something (even though I am) - It wasn't a negative cycle that didn't work. It wasn't that the embryo failed to implant. It did. It's just that I then lost it. Why don't people get that????????? (Edited to add: I don't mean people on here by the way! Real life people)

Friends have been pretty much useless with me. Not with this bit, but the whole fertility thing really. No-one's even bothered to get in touch with me to see how the IVF went (even though they knew I has having it). Well unless you count the one who asked if I wanted to go to a gig the day after EC. I've found it pretty hurtful tbh as I've always tried to be a good caring friend when I've known they've gone through various hard times. Maybe they don't know what to say. Or maybe I just have rubbish friends. Meh.

Sorry, major rant going on there.