The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

claire16c

tea_lover wrote: »

Claire, our first try was nhs. We've just managed to have a conversation about it and he's now saying he wouldn't rule it out but not straight away. I've pointed out that our best odds come from doing this as soon as possible, as the odds are going down all the time. We've left it at that for now. Better than the last time we spoke about it when he nearly packed his bags.

Afaik iui isn't an option for us as we have severe male factor issues. Which I think is one of oh's main problems with the idea of trying again - he sees it as his fault. Obviously i don't, but I can't get that through to him.

So frustrating for you. At least you managed a conversation though and perhaps he might come round after sleeping on it?

The money is tricky as there are no guarantees but the prize is so huge.

If you have to pay next time (does your pct only allow one try? Same as mine) then could you maybe research where you'd want to go in the mean time? Unless that would cause you more pain.

fluffnutter

tea_lover wrote: »

That's the million dollar question. OH is totally against trying ICSI again. I think he'd be ok with clomid or something like that (tbh he wouldn't necessarily even notice clomid!) I have no idea whether we'll be offered anything else. Obviously we could try ICSI again if we paid.

I was trying my best to get my head around not doing anything and trying to think of the positives (there are a lot - holidays, alcohol, etc lol) But I just can't stop thinking about it. I don't feel ready to give up on this - but I'm not ready to give up on my relationship either so we're pretty much at stalemate. It would help if we able to talk about it without it degenerating into a slanging match but we haven't managed that yet.

Will see what tomorrow brings....

If you're not ready to give up, it don't matter a damn how positive those positives are - they're not a baby.

tea_lover

fluffnutter wrote: »

If you're not ready to give up, it don't matter a damn how positive those positives are - they're not a baby.

Exactly.

I know it might never happen, probably won't ever happen, but I have to try. Problem is, oh says we have tried.

vseviour

Congrats to TeamLowe and Birdie.
Hugs to everyone else.

I'm in the 'need a hug' group tonight. Had referral appointment today and it's all got to me a bit. Starting meds in August. OH scared and ready just to walk away from ICSI without trying, but even with the odds against us, surely anything is better than nothing?? And we've waited so long to get to this point. But our geography is a bit confusing, we've built a house to move into near family, and it's ready, but if we leave now, we lose NHS funding, but if we stay we're paying mortgage and rent, and we have no life here, and... summary, everything is a mess :-(

Just needed to have a moan, sorry.

onestep

Big hugs to everyone ((hugs))

& congratulations to our BFP ladies !!! It is lovely to hear that BFPs actually do happen..

Can anybody recommend a good hotel in Cardiff? We're going to stay overnight for the prep course in July. Looking forward to it, but also thinking 'why do we want to rock the boat?'. Am hoping it's normal to have mixed emotions about adoption at this stage.

vseviour

Onestep, if you want posh I'd go for the Hilton, the Big Sleep is meant to be funky and affordable but I've never been, and if you want cheap I stay at the Travelodge in Cardiff Central when I go, but it's in St Mary's St so near nightlife x

mrshappy

congrats Birdie and Team Lowe,so happy for both of you- I don't read the normal TTC thread at all now, so glad you popped over and posted here.

Lucy, thinking of you x

Tea-I have used a counselling service before and found it amazing, it was pre TTC, one of the issues I had was my mum's cancer diagnosis amongst other things, and it was brilliant, I found it so helpful and it really helped me get things in perspective. Well worth a try, we have also had to have a session at the hospital as we are now going for donor egg. ICSI, and again, I found it useful, and would go back to her if I felt the need. Anger is normal, and anyone who can help work through it is worth talking to in my opinion x

Hope everyone else is getting by x

tea_lover

vseviour, you moan all you like...I do!! Would the mortgage etc you'd pay in your current house add up to the cost of the treatment?

Peonie

Congratulations Birdie and TeamLowe. I've never read the TTC thread so I too am glad you've posted here. How did you tell your OH and how did he react?

I had counselling about 3 years ago. I was going through a very stressful time; the counsellor helped me through it and I would recommend it to anyone. Tea, if you are angry then that's what you should talk to the counsellor about. He or she will help you. If I got the opportunity I would see one again.

Primmer

Onestep - st David's in Cardiff Bay is beautiful but more top of the range and is a lovely setting and still close to city centre. Otherwise the Novotel is nice and a short walk from the city centre.