The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Birdie85

Sounds like a plan Becca! Lots of chocolate (and some salty popcorn to balance it out! ) is in order tonight. It'd be rude not to have a little drinkie too, just a little fruity cider or glass of wine.

time2deal

Everyone's welcome here!

BZ - thanks for the great post about how you are now. I know there are a million sites out there with experiences, but it's nice to go through it with someone you 'know'. Not that we don't want you here, but I do think for your sake you should venture a little to the <12 week thread. There are people there (like Abis) who will give you lots of faith and confidence too!

Of course, your nice list is making me SS too, although I shouldn't be thinking about it at all. To be honest, I am quite late, and I'm trying to not think about it (therefore it is ALL I am thinking about of course). We paid no attention to anything this month other than testing if I can have s3x again, so I genuinely don't know when I ov'd. Although I do know when I had a irrational moment, followed by a fight, followed by make-up BD'ing...

I've been cramping on and off for over a week now, so I don't think the period is stuck -which is a risk for me - if the scarring blocks the mini cervix area the blood pools in the uterus. Nice I realise! But I'm still sort of PMS'y, so hopefully that isn't the case. I'm too scared to test! Positive and negative both have issues for me at the moment. I keep hoping AF will show up, but at the same time desperately hoping it won't! The TTC Craziness index is high today.

teaandcakeordeath

You're not out yet Becca so don't count your last clomid cycle out. Finding out that you're onto the 'next step' whatever it is is utterly devastating so don't be harsh on yourself. I've found it very much like the grieving process- but harder as you can't really explain it to people as they don't understand ('just relax') or give you the whole 'it'll be alright though, it's only Clomid/ IUI/ IVF/ The crushing of all your dreams' spiel (Really? Show me your crystal ball then...). Just keep your chin up though- eat chocolate and remember we're here for support. This place has really helped me.

The open evening thing went alright. It's just hard to get my head around still though. They offer free counselling to couples/ individuals as soon as you want it so I'm going to make an appointment for that tomorrow to try and help sort through this mess in my head. We've got an appointment for bloods on 16th May then a short wait to get our consultation. Once we've had the consultation they arrange with us when to start (as long as they can fit us in) and reckon it should be within two cycles. Terrifying.

I was shocked at how many young couples were there. I don't know why as it's obvious that everyone is going to be young (I mean 40ish as young) as that's when you have kids but I found it shocking nonetheless. Just people that you wouldn't look twice at in the street. I could've kicked some couples head in though who brought their daughter along- nice one. Rub it in why don't you?! Am a bitter cow!

debtfreeat40

I've got secondary infertility and have been TTC #2 for 18 months (different partner).
He's been checked and is ok and I've had tubes checked and blood tests and we're now waiting results but were told chances are we'll be put on clomid.
However we've just been given a date for our next appointment and its not for another 3 months and , like everyone, its very stressful and upsetting.
We were thinking of going private so we can be seen quicker but a nurse advised us to be v careful as we'd end up paying for everything if we did that and we have limited funds.
What I don't understand is, other than the initial consultation and possibly Clomid, what else we would have to pay for? Any IVF we had would have to be self funded as I've already got one child?

Do we bite the bullet and go private or do we wait? Any advice anyone?

becca0417

Thanks ladies.

T2d it's a tough one. What are the risks associated with a bfp for you at the moment? Xxx

Tcd glad it went ok. Anything like that is huge to try and take on, the counselling sounds great.

I've just been looking up & it looks like next steps are lap & dye (which I'm presuming as I've had I wont need?!) then Iui. Better try hard this month!!!

Feel a lot better now I've eaten the best part of 2 packs of biscuits!

good_vibes

Hi all,
*hugs* becca, hope it's your month still. can you pass the biscuits please. Cd 1 here, it's a killer. Glad got a couple of days off now.
At last, got appointment early June, seems ages away. Oh starting to get down from op and still off work. Roll on June

time2deal

debtfree - if your user name indicates your age, then to be honest I would bite the bullet and go private. Sorry to be so direct!

The costs of private will include some tests that the private place will want you to do, the always surprisingly high consultation costs, and the tablets will be full price rather than the £7.50 or so for NHS prescriptions. I think you can mix a little with your GP if you can convince them to do certain tests for you.

Since you have to pay for IVF anyway, that's the huge cost, so you should stay with NHS if there is any chance they will cover it - but if not, I'd go private.

Becca - I don't really know the risks. The research I can find (which isn't much) says the miscarriage risk is higher, but its hard to get good comparatives. The surgery can be done different ways - via the abdomen, via the v@gina (which I had), sometimes they leave a little cervix, sometimes they don't, and there are only 1500 or so people in total who have had the surgery at all.

I can't ask the surgeon as he will think we are trying! And he was VERY clear only last week that I wasn't to get pregnant. I laughed!

One of the forums had a lady who said she was told she could try immediately and was pregnant three weeks after surgery. I am currently 10 weeks post op. I'll have to test soon to know one way or the other. Currently CD34, I'm normally 26-28 days, and only 31 even after the surgery. If I ov'd the day we had the fight/make up, then I am 20DPO.:eek: yikes, putting it like that that's worrying!

time2deal

becca also meant to say that glad the carb filled sugary goodness helped!

time2deal

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

The open evening thing went alright. It's just hard to get my head around still though. They offer free counselling to couples/ individuals as soon as you want it so I'm going to make an appointment for that tomorrow to try and help sort through this mess in my head. We've got an appointment for bloods on 16th May then a short wait to get our consultation. Once we've had the consultation they arrange with us when to start (as long as they can fit us in) and reckon it should be within two cycles. Terrifying.

I was shocked at how many young couples were there. I don't know why as it's obvious that everyone is going to be young (I mean 40ish as young) as that's when you have kids but I found it shocking nonetheless. Just people that you wouldn't look twice at in the street. I could've kicked some couples head in though who brought their daughter along- nice one. Rub it in why don't you?! Am a bitter cow!

Glad the meeting went well. IVF is scarily fast once it starts. We only did up to Egg Collection and ICSI (and into the freezer) but it was done and dusted in just over three weeks.

When I was at the clinic, there were regularly people there with kids. More than one in many cases. I wasn't too fussed, but for some reason it really bothered my DH. I think he thought that once you had one, you wouldn't be going for IVF. I didn't want to mention to him that I fully intended to try for two kids if we get the chance, so in an ideal world it would be us there with a little kid in the future!

teaandcakeordeath

becca0417 wrote: »

I've just been looking up & it looks like next steps are lap & dye (which I'm presuming as I've had I wont need?!) then Iui. Better try hard this month!!!

What's a lap and dye? Is the the HSG? Have you had your tubes checked?