oi what you doing here

savingholmes

I agree with hypno - they should pay you.... or give to you in kind....

Sorry to hear you have been struggling with cars etc....

ZTD

hypno06 wrote: »

I can count the number of true freebie sessions that I did on the fingers of one hand......my time and my expertise are worth paying for, and in order for me to be valued for my ability, that means that I need something in return.

Now, that might be cash....or it might be something else - so, for example, I have a friend who does work in my garden (she loves gardening, I hate it) in return for reflexology. Another took me for a lovely meal out.

You could do, "buy 3 get 4th free" or "introduce a friend and get a free treatment"......but that is something different entirely - you are acknowledging a client's loyalty, or drumming up new business, but you are also getting paid sessions out of it at the same time.

Occasionally, I would offer to give a friend or family member a free session if they wanted, but 9 times out of 10 they would pay me anyway, even though that was not the intention - their response being that they benefitted from it so were happy to pay.

When I did extra training for specialist areas, such as maternity training, I gave free treatments in return for those people allowing me to use their details for case studies, but then I was getting something out of it, so that was fine. Even so, all my maternity case studies continued coming to me after the 6 "free" sessions ended, and paid me the going rate for all future sessions!

If your skills were not worth paying for, they wouldn't be asking for them. By all means give them "mates rates" at, say half value, but even then it is really taking advantage in my opinion.

Skill swaps are one thing - expecting something for free is quite another - you are worth more than that.

^^^^ What she said...

elantan

i totally agree hypno and to be honest it is the kind of way i operate ..but recently for some reason (i must have mug written on my head) i have had a few people saying they cant afford it but could they get it anyway...there was no payment of kind in return no wonder my business isnt working lol ...but i think i will no more ...ok i was gaining practise out of it and it was nice to keep the practise up but i am sure i can talk hubby into letting me practise on him he loves the reiki for some reason...

i think with everything i have been through with the person i thought was a friend recently this has just highlighted to me that it isnt just her ...said friend asked me again for help with something ...i was stunned ...the story is ...you know how those flights with ryan air ...well i didnt get them refunded (no surprise there then) but friend wanted to go to dublin to meet up with another friend who was in dublin on holiday ...so i said well i have this money sitting in ryan air if you want you can get a flight and it wont cost you anything ...so i booked the flight(cost £90) then found out she didnt bother going on the flight for a variety of reasons non of which i felt were acceptable ...now it was and it wasnt the money that bothered me ...yes £90 is something i cant afford to loose but i had lost it anyway ...it was more the way she spoke about it like it was her that was being all put out and life wasnt fair on her...i was like !!!!!! i have just parted with £90 for a flight for you (i couldve technically used it for any ryan air flight) and all you can moan about is you and how hard done by you are you ungrateful little !!!!!! etc ...this made me take a look at other ways that i have given time money etc freely and why ...then to top it off was the hubby's brother today i thought no this has to stop i am not a door mat any more ..

anyhoo "friend" let me know today she is going to visit other friends in newcastle and wondered if i wanted to go with her ..eh no says i ...so then it was well i cant afford to go on my own i was hoping you would drive ...no shame i tell you no shame ...


mmmm i think i am going to have to draw a firm line in the sand on this one ...

hypno06

You cannot afford to give away free treatments - you are in debt and struggling to make ends meet as it is.

If they say that they cannot afford to pay you - tough. You wouldn't go into tesco, put loads of food in your trolley because it is what you need, then get to the till and say "I can't afford pay, but can I take it anyway?" would you, so why should this be any different.

There are people out there that WILL pay - go target them!

elantan

totally ...and i will be from now on ...believe me painful lesson once again learned ...it takes me a long time to learn some of these lol

savingholmes

hi elantan - I understand about being taken advantage of - because we earned good money - we helped others out even tho we had debt of our own - net result - we owe more than them....! There is something wrong with that equation....

elantan

truthfully saving holmes i think we are probably in the same situation ...it's amazing how different people view money and also how different people view debt ...i see myself as having no money when i literally have no money quite literally no money and no way of getting any ...my friend see's herself as having no money when her savings dip close to £60,000 she get's into a panic ...we are all different ...i spose when people say to me they have no money i assume they mean they have no money like i have no money not like how my friend has no money ..strange world

savingholmes

I don't know about you but I had a "rescuer" mentality - I saw a problem - someone unhappy whatever - and I wanted to ride to the rescue and fix it whether they asked or not... I have to stop myself rescuing people and remind myself that if I "rescue" financially - then I am putting myself in debt for something they wouldn't - what is that about? It is really hard at the mo as my little sis is getting married, her fiance is working 2 jobs and she is too sick to work - I want to help her but I can't.... she doesn't expect it which makes me want to help her more.... I have to physically stop myself....

A friend of mine has 7 kids.... I was one of 5 and would consider myself "deprived" as a kid.... I kind of want to "fix" that for them so they don't rerun my childhood! Their parents are much better and more natural parents than mine tho and have access to a lot of friendship and support - so don't "need" me to "fix" it anyway - taken me a few years to get that thro my head tho LOL!

hypno06

El is definitely "a rescuer"......and I am sure she will be the first to admit it.

elantan

Totally hypno and it is a reacurring theme in my life truth to tell... Although I am slightly better than I was but I need to stop this cycle and not just till I am debt free but for ever .... Maybe that is something I should work on ... Where would I start though ...any advice greatly appreciated