oi what you doing here

elantan

i have to admit i have always ben lucky in that i never gave until there was nothing left to give ...i always seemed to be able to stop before then ...but i did find that i became very annoyed with the situation and would become angry etc ...and that had to change ...that wasnt any good for me ...

so this week we worked on the start next week i am trying various things out then the week after i will be working on the next part etc till i am happy with the way the situation is ...

yes i think that is what i will be doing with the aromatherapy as well ... i am not qualified just now and i certainly dont expect to be paid qualified rates until i am ...but it does cost me so i will be charging for that ...it has been a productive day

hypno06

I am glad it has been productive for you x

We'll get there!

elantan

we will and it is always lovly to have good company for the journey...thanks as always for your help ...


i need to get in touch with my angel ...have been thinking about her for the last few weeks i cant get msn on anymore and i keep thinking i will phone her but then it's 10pm before i get time which is far far too late so will need to get in touch with her ...just thinking out loud there

mizmir

Sounds like a really productive thinking process and that you are on the way to achieving the balance between being the generous person that you are (and you definitely are! ) and allowing people to take advantage of that and turn a lovely and empowering character trait into something that is draining and destructive of you. Well done you.

elantan

thanks miz and to be honest it is the balance i am looking for ...ying yang has been playing a rather large role in my life recently ...so it is probably a good time that this reared it's head just now

mizmir

And that of course should be NOT allowing people to take advantage - but you knew what I meant!

The_Dragon

Great to see you again El - sorry about the debt busting not working as well as you would hope though!

elantan

Dragon it is one of those things that I think are just gonna take a while ( like evertyine else ) I can't complain really .... How is the oinker flu recovery going?.... Right I have stuff to write but am onthis bl00dy Phone so will leave it till I get time after my sleep ..... Not that it is exctng or anything it is just irritating beyond belief onthis thing

elantan

mizmir wrote: »

And that of course should be NOT allowing people to take advantage - but you knew what I meant!

Yep I sure did ... Wow this phone managed a quote that time

savingholmes

Hi El

One of the changes I have made is now I rarely give money. I also rarely pay for other people's meals or drinks altho I sometimes explain before we go out - that we are skint and trying to pay off our debts so that there is no expectation there that I will....

What I am still happy to do tho is give our spare stuff away - never got the hang of ebay or car booting really - and it still allows me the pleasure of giving. I also act as a conduit for other people to give clothes etc thro me to my friends so that is also nice. I have also reduced how much we give to charity and now give more of my time and energy instead.....

I am now also no longer too proud to give or recieve things via freecycle either... Now that was a problem initially with my rescuer mentality - if someone posted a wanted item - I wanted to solve it for them - but once I saw that there was a massive pool of other people who were prepared to meet those needs it meant I felt far more relaxed about only giviing something when it suited us.... Quite a good test tho!

Perhaps something like that would work for you?