A fresh start

Karmacat

Hi Seaxwyn! Great news about the tax bill money! And March for the other stuff is a long time off yet, you can find it by then from dfw sources, or some of it anyway, I hope.

I have no clue yet what my tax bill will be - not submitted it yet. If the accountants can't do it cos of pressure of work, I'll just bung a couple of thou in the direction of the Inland Revenue, and hope they don't issue that fine, but I'm resigned to it if they do....

Anyway, have a good day today - you have a *lot* of snow, hope you're all warm and toasty.

hypno06

Taking the issue of the snow, and the broken ribs aside, both of which I know would hamper the majority of us, is it that he CAN'T find work, or that he WON'T find work? For example, I know that my OH idea of jobhunting is not the same as mine, so where my OH would consider himself jobhunting, I would consider him flicking through the job section on a Thursday and hoping that someone he knows offers him a job without him having to apply type thing.

If you are anything like me, I wouldn't want OH to go bankrupt - not because of any impact on him, but because after all the work I have done, I would still feel that it was a failing of mine, rather than a failing of his or of "ours".....that might seem bizarre to some, but I think I would fight tooth and nail to stop OH being BR even if the debt was all his, not mine, etc.

Anyway, am rambling now - will get back to my coffee and my reduced price chocolate orange

Seaxwyn

Hypno, my OH's idea of job hunting is exactly as you describe. It's not CAN'T exactly, but he has lots of obstacles in his mind, so I do need to work on supporting/encouraging him rather than nagging/blaming. I choose to be optimistic and believe that he WILL find something this year.

I don't know anything about bankruptcy because I have never looked into it. We can pay the debt, albeit slowly, so that feels like the only thing to do. I'm lucky that we have endless free/very cheap credit, so unlike many people we don't pay a great deal of interest.

hypno06

I agree - you are doing exactly the right thing. Not always easy, but doing the right thing x

taxi73

hypno06 wrote: »

I agree - you are doing exactly the right thing. Not always easy, but doing the right thing x

I second this opinion as well.

taxi73

Hope everything is going ok.

Seaxwyn

We finally heard from DWP today - OH is not entitled to Jobseekers Allowance or any other benefit as a) he has paid insufficient Nat Ins contributions and b) I earn too much. Oh well, fair enough.

He is very low and has no energy to do anything. I'm sure it's a lot to do with the pain of his broken ribs, but I think he's also depressed. I don't know what to do to help him, and am ashamed that I am boiling with resentment at him too.

I have emailed a colleague that I shared a big freelance project with this time last year to see if she is doing it again and has any overload. I could easily manage a couple of hours editing a day on top of my job. Fingers crossed she will have something.

lucielle

Any chance of getting him to the docs or referred to somebody who can help?
L

hypno06

If he was feeling low anyway, then the fact that he can't claim any sort of alternative income could well have pushed him across that very fine line, and it is definitely a good idea to get him to see a GP.....you may have to make the appointment yourself, and literally drag him there, but I think it would be a very positive thing to do.

I am not surprised you have that feeling of resentment, though.....this is not something "new" - it has been winding up to this point for years, from what I understand. You know that I think you are doing remarkably well to keep things together, and I hope you are looking after yourself in all this.

Again, (she says, feeling rather hopeless), I wish there was something I could do to help.

taxi73

Sorry to hear that he can't claim anything.
Have you asked him whether he'll go to the DRS...it can't hurt to go and speak to them.