Bisexuality

vegankris

It's a non issue for me personally. If it is an issue for you I'd say it was the monogamy part rather than the bisexuality that was the issue needing looked at here, you may be happier in a polyamorous relationship.

Emmzi

McKneff wrote: »

Says it all - there is no justification for being unfaitfhful. full stop.
Stop one relationship and start another - thats okay, anything else is
outrageiosly selfish and egostical.

In your world, in your opinion.

Your opinion is not fact. It is just how you think. Define 'unfaithful' - if everyone knows and agrees, is that still wrong?

viktory

In my opinion, staying faithful is a key component of being in a relationship. Whether one is bisexual, homosexual or straight makes no difference and I don't like the implication that being bisexual, living with a man and wanting sex with a woman is 'different'. IMO cheating is cheating.

OP, you will either have to speak to your partner about your feelings and see if you can find a way forward that works for both of you, leave your partner or continue to deny your feelings. It is exactly the same for straight people. Sometimes I fancy other people besides my husband but I do nothing about my feelings because I love him. The feelings soon pass.

emlou2009

if a bisexual person chooses to settle down with someone it should be no different than if a heterosexual person settles with someone

Dinah93

A monogamous relationship is only the ideal if it is the ideal of both parties. Now for many people, it is, however there are some very happy couples out there who have open relationships. Now personally that's not for me, I don't believe the bond you can form is even half as strong as if you can give yourself completely and fully to one person, however different strokes for different folks. Your issue is communication, you need to see if your partner is happy in a monogamous relationship or if he'd be willing to explore an alternative situation too. However if you're off getting your jollies elsewhere, I'd say he's perfectly entitled to do the same, he shouldn't be penalised and made to feel like hes not good enough just because he only likes one gender.

That conversation will be a big jump, and you could end up getting what you want, but you could end up hurting him. However if you go looking elsewhere and he finds out after the fact, he won't be hurt, he'll be devistated, firstly that you did this, and secondly that you didn't feel you could approach him.

SugarSpun

I was in an open relationship for years - and my husband was likewise in similar relationships. We're both comfortable to be monogamous in this one because it's important to us.

If one of us gets the urge to be with someone else in the future we'll talk about it - we're married, we didn't go blind, and we still find others attractive. It's simply that at the moment we're all the other needs and that's a wonderful feeling that we're enjoying. When we got together and made the decision to be monogamous, one of his friends was outraged that he'd give up his "freedom". He didn't see it that way - perhaps you do.

Bisexuality makes no difference - you just have to not sleep with people, and there's no guarantee that the people you'd be interested in if you were single would be interested in you too.

Either talk to your partner or go on not sleeping with other people. Cheating is impolite, reprehensible and irresponsible. You might want to look up polyamory, it sounds like that's more up your street than monogamy.

MummyMoo

McKneff wrote: »

Says it all - there is no justification for being unfaitfhful. full stop.
Stop one relationship and start another - thats okay, anything else is
outrageiosly selfish and egostical.

To live in such a black and white world must be dull dull dull!! lol! now, cos you have no basis for your slanderous remarks as you know nothing about me and therefore cannot judge me, I shall not rise to the bait and begin a slanging match with you. This thread is about a bloke fighting with his feelings, asking for answers. Your judgemental opinion does not help this bloke, it just adds negativity to a possibility that in fact might make him quite happy and be totally right for him and his partner. What works for one person (or the majority) does not work for everyone. Plus, you'd be amazed to find out what seemingly 'normal' people get up to in their private lives! lol!

Sweetpeanut

In my opinion, and this is MY opinion, don't be so bloody greedy, your either gay or straight, not bi, tri, whatever, what ever happened to being happy with what you have got, the grass is not always greener. Would you like it if your partner, was thinking the same? I my self can't understand why people would want both male & female, and this is my opinion, before some-one comes and slates me, and no im not a self-righteous person, i have my beliefs and thats that.

SugarSpun

Sweetpeanut wrote: »

Would you like it if your partner, was thinking the same? I my self can't understand why people would want both male & female, and this is my opinion.

I imagine having a partner who felt the same way would make the OP's situation considerably easier to deal with.

I can't understand why someone wouldn't find things in both men and women attractive, but there's some research to suggest that testosterone levels differ in men who identify as straight, bi or gay - in which case it wouldn't be a choice, just like straight/gay isn't a choice.

I don't know if the same is true for women, I've not seen any research on it. I'd assume it is though.

Mozette

I'm bi. I've had monogamous relationships and open relationships; both can work providing all concerned are happy with the arrangements. Only you and your partner can sort this out, but you really do need to have a good long think about things. If he doesn't want an open relationship, then are you willing to lose him for a shag? If you are, then you need to talk to him about it and explore your options, one of which may be that he won't want to stay with you.
in my opinion, it takes real committment and maturity to realise that sex is sex and a relationship is something else. Whether you and he want to or can do that is between the two of you.

Good luck in whatever you decide.