Bisexuality

FirstTimer4Me

how do you deal with it?

as a male and living with my male partner for over 15 years, most of the time I'm OK however there are times when the urge for contact with the opposite sex becomes uncontrollable, so much so, sometimes I think it would be easier if I was dead (I'm not suicidal, it's just difficult trying to control my sexual feelings)

there's no way I could tell my partner about how I feel for one I couldn't hurt him and for 2 as I am bisexual I do love him, having a relationship with a female would only present the same scenario.

sometimes I've thought about using the services of a prostitute tho to be honest the mere thought of how cold the contact and emotions could be has stopped me from seeking one.

I can't be the only person who is bisexual and dealing with this issue, anyone have any experience / advice please?

staffie1

2nd bisexual thread today! What's going on..?

MummyMoo

Im bi, but the way I look at its is that I shouldnt cut my chances of finding love or even a moment of happiness by 50% just to make things a bit clearer to other people. With every male relationship I've been in, they have always known and allowed me to go with women. I'd never cheat on a male for a male, or female for another female. The way I've always explained it is that no matter what one partner does, he cannot provide me with the other pleasures/'bits' that the other sex can. Thats all it is for me, just the sex parts, no emotional attachments, as THIS to me is being unfaithful. If I was to cheat on a bloke for a bloke, that would be saying to the first one "you are not giving me something that you should be capable of giving me" iykwim. I've only ever had long term relationships (minimum of 3 years) and this has always been a great coping strategy for both me and my partner.

FirstTimer4Me

Atomised wrote: »

I know it is unpc but i've often wondered if bisexual people find it harder to be faithful as you are faced with double the temptation and we are only human.

I think it's more to do with the commitment, most people want more than sex they want the emotional side also, that's the difficulty how does someone love 2 people equally?


The majority of people would find it difficult almost impossible “sharing” someone.

MummyMoo wrote: »

Thats all it is for me, just the sex parts, no emotional attachments

That's all I want just the sex, no emotional attachment the difficulty being most feel would probably feel "used" which is not what I'd want them to feel.

It really is a nightmare.

FirstTimer4Me

staffie1 wrote: »

2nd bisexual thread today!

I'm not aware of any other thread

MummyMoo

Atomised - not really, its not a hassle to anyone involved. The other person knows that its just physical fun and nothing more - they know this from the very start, so there is no pretence involved, no hurt feelings. JUst being adult about it, its a need, a physical need, an itch if you will Being single would be so boring, so cold. What is life without love?

MummyMoo

When I talk to my friends or new people, over timen I let them know that Im bi, what my view is on just pure fun sex, and sometimes they offer to be involved in what you might call a 'free love' relationship. Just fun occassionally, booty call style! One of my very straight friends whom I've know for years recently broke up with her boyfriend.. and volunteered to be one of 'special friends'! lol! just go with what makes you happy, as long as they people involved know BEFOREHAND what the rules/ expectations are of them.

Emmzi

go google "polyamory" and do lots of reading.

and dont DO anyhting without lots of conversation and agreement.

FirstTimer4Me

MummyMoo wrote: »

as long as the people involved know BEFOREHAND what the rules/ expectations are of them.

I did once confide in a very close friend who I also fancied, she felt she couldn't have a sexual relationship as she'd want more than just the sex.

MissMitch

There's plenty of 'no strings' websites around...I've never used one myself, (I'm a serial monogamist ) but wouldn't they be more 'personal' then using a prostitute? I'd say you could find a casual partner on there that would be happy with your situation. Could you approach your partner about it? Would he be upset / threathened if you found yourself a female f*** buddy?

MummyMoo

By using a prostitute or escort or whatever its just further enforcing the idea that what you are feeling is wrong and should be hidden and underground.