what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

milliebear00001

Downshifting groceries

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

I did have PND following the birth of both my children so I'm sure that didn't help much either
DS was 17 months when DD arrived so I was busier but still had the same problems with getting out and about/meeting people etc....in fact in got harder

I reckon it's about about getting motivated/planning the day etc.. when they're that little
Does help though if you know plenty of other mum's and have good support though - that's what I'd do next time (though I doubt there will be one for me )

I think this is very true. It is a very busy job being a parent to small children. Sometimes I wonder how people manage to do it and work as well! It is different with babies - particularly a single baby. I found the first year alone with my first especially hard (and often dull) but throw a second into the mix, and accelerate a few years to them really chatting with you and interacting, and I think it's sad few parents get to experience these years in a fuller way.

It's not easy being at home, but being the parent of several young children is much busier (and in some ways easier) than being the full time parent of one baby. My kids have a busier social life than me, so it's not just about having a parent available to do the school run - there are loads of school events/trips my OH helps out with/can be there for, lots of after-school parties and other activities, that require somebody to be available to drop off/pick up/attend. All of this makes things much more stressful to organise if there is not a parent on hand to deal with it all. Some of my daughter's friends simply miss out on things like gymnastics and Rainbows, because they don't have a parent available to do the taxi-ing bit. These are compromises we don't want to have to make, and having a parent at home all day allows us to do all these things without difficulty.

galvanizersbaby

Downshifting groceries

milliebear00001 wrote: »

I think this is very true. It is a very busy job being a parent to small children. Sometimes I wonder how people manage to do it and work as well! It is different with babies - particularly a single baby. I found the first year alone with my first especially hard (and often dull) but throw a second into the mix, and accelerate a few years to them really chatting with you and interacting, and I think it's sad few parents get to experience these years in a fuller way.

It's not easy being at home, but being the parent of several young children is much busier (and in some ways easier) than being the full time parent of one baby. My kids have a busier social life than me, so it's not just about having a parent available to do the school run - there are loads of school events/trips my OH helps out with/can be there for, lots of after-school parties and other activities, that require somebody to be available to drop off/pick up/attend. All of this makes things much more stressful to organise if there is not a parent on hand to deal with it all. Some of my daughter's friends simply miss out on things like gymnastics and Rainbows, because they don't have a parent available to do the taxi-ing bit. These are compromises we don't want to have to make, and having a parent at home all day allows us to do all these things without difficulty.

I agree - fortunately I have a degree of flexibility with my job and manage beavers by leaving work early and gymnastics on is a Saturday morning so that works out ok for now.
I can imagine it will be trickier though when they get older and want to do more after school stuff - sadly being around to taxi them around and help out is a luxury I'm unable to afford at the moment.

weezl74

Having a lodger

SusanC wrote: »

Another thing which occurred to me on the lodger thing is that if you have the room for a lodger then downsizing is potentially an option too. (Not saying people should do it - just that it's another way of improving finances.)

I think that's good thinking susan, but we bought big to then have a family to fill the bigger house, believing that then 2002 the market would be easier to afford a bigger house with IYSWIM? So up til having Fergus we had between 6 (horrid times) and 1 lodger /s

Sami_Bee

Downshifting groceries

weezl74 wrote: »

I think that's good thinking susan, but we bought big to then have a family to fill the bigger house, believing that then 2002 the market would be easier to afford a bigger house with IYSWIM? So up til having Fergus we had between 6 (horrid times) and 1 lodger /s

:eek: My idea of hell

flea72

emlou2009 wrote: »

we fit in there too - oh earns 15k and i earn(t) 15k which means we cant get any help to stay at home, minimal help with childcare and even if i go back to work full time we wont have as much money as we do now with me on maternity allowance once tax and childcare is paid for...

so you can suck up a £12k drop in income? wow, id say thats more than the discussed 'cut backs'

Yes, at the moment you are right, that with you earning £15k, once childcare is taken into consideration your income is similar to what you have coming in now, via MA and tax credits. But once baby turns one your ctc will halve and your MA will have stopped. Once that happens, by returning to your previous employment, and even taking into consideration childcare costs, you will be bringing in about £7K (prob more with childcare help), whereas tax credits will only bring in £2.5k

Flea

SusanC_2

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Fair points. DS was a good baby too, but now he is a busy toddler! When he was wee I found that breastfeeding him took up time/energy.
I just find that at the moment I am kept busy with housework/laundry, entertaining DS at home, out on walks around the place and at toddler group (did not used to go but I find it great for him and thankfully there is a good mix of mums at ours!), doing online surveys, sorting out finances, meal planning, cooking, baking, a little time on MSE (;)).

You were right! You are me (or I am you).

emlou2009

Downshifting groceries

flea72 wrote: »

so you can suck up a £12k drop in income? wow, id say thats more than the discussed 'cut backs'

Yes, at the moment you are right, that with you earning £15k, once childcare is taken into consideration your income is similar to what you have coming in now, via MA and tax credits. But once baby turns one your ctc will halve and your MA will have stopped. Once that happens, by returning to your previous employment, and even taking into consideration childcare costs, you will be bringing in about £7K (prob more with childcare help), whereas tax credits will only bring in £2.5k

Flea

i havent said i want to stay at home, in fact i have said the opposite
if i work full time then perhaps so, but although i do want to go back and i dont want to be a SAHM in the least, i dont want someone else looking after my baby 9-10 hours a day, 5 days a week! my sums are accurate for the hours i will be doing when i go back.

flea72

emlou2009 wrote: »

i havent said i want to stay at home, in fact i have said the opposite
if i work full time then perhaps so, but although i do want to go back and i dont want to be a SAHM in the least, i dont want someone else looking after my baby 9-10 hours a day, 5 days a week! my sums are accurate for the hours i will be doing when i go back.

i wasnt questionning your desire to return to work - i was just pointing out the figures

alot of people think they cant afford to return to work, because they just see the bottom line of how much childcare costs, and are like 'wow thats half my income'. Forgetting that still bringing in half of their current income, must be better financially, than bringing in nothing

id rather have half of something, than a whole of nothing

Flea

donna-j_2

SusanC wrote: »

Another thing which occurred to me on the lodger thing is that if you have the room for a lodger then downsizing is potentially an option too. (Not saying people should do it - just that it's another way of improving finances.)

Unfortunately easier said than done atm. We are trying to sell to down'shift' rather than down'size' but there are just no buyers around.

Baileys_Babe

Having a lodger

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]We plan for me to be a SAHM for the foreseeable future as we have 2 children DS nearly 4 years & DD 3 months, whom we intend to home educate. To enable this to be financially viable we have always overpaid our mortgage - fully repaid when DS was 18 months. We have also moved from Oxfordshire to West Yorkshire (to be nearer family & friends) meaning we can afford a good sized family home in a lovely location.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Our childrens clothes are pre loved (second hand) or presents from Grandparents. We use reusable nappies, wipes etc, also pre loved. As well as most of their toys.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif][/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Looking around our living room 2 settees, 3 armchairs, rug, cupboard, 2 standard lamps, curtains, TV, DVD, video player, bookcase, clock, 4 small tables have come from parents, grandparents, siblings and charity shops, only the coffee table and a bookcase we bought new. This is not a sacrifice for us, but it does help financially.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Food: we grow a little bit of fruit and veg, we plan to dramatically increase this. We don't buy branded products unless they are cheaper than non branded equivalents, we bulk buy much of our food from a whole food whole sellers and have a free source of eggs and very rarely eat meat.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Lodger: we do not have a lodger, we would consider it, but it would have to be somebody we already knew and were happy with (a friend may about to be a Monday to Friday lodger). I would not want to share with a stranger now we have children. Wish before we had children we had taken language school students on shortish stays when we were living in Oxfordshire and used the income to pay the mortgage quicker.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]I am constantly looking at ways to reduce our outgoings or increase our income points/clicks, MOC, cash back sites & cash back credit card, reviewing our utility providers etc, cash neutral present giving.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]I would consider, but we currently don't need to reducing the number of cars we have from 2 to 1. I would prefer to have a car each as OH works away from home part of the week and many of the activities (mainly home education) we wish to be involved in take place over a wide area.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Reduce house hold costs: we do have a dish washer & washing machine which we use in as environmentally and economically friendly way as possible to free up time for other things, but we do many things our selves as oppose to paying others including cleaning the windows, repairing the DW & vacuum cleaner, decorating, unblocking drains.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Things I do not wish to do include having debt, OH extending hours, using savings.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Virtually none of these have happened just because our children have been born but over a longer period in anticipation on of me being a SAHM/home educator when we had children.[/FONT]

[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Apologise for the long post and any bits that are a bit jumbled I'm breast feeding and typing.[/FONT]