what lengths would you go to to give your child a SAHM/D?

SusanC_2

flea72 wrote: »

The UK average is £27k, now i would assume any family would be able to have a sahp based on that income. tbh anyone with an income over £20k should be able to have one parent stay at home by making 'cutbacks'

So how below average does your OH earn?

for people who earn between £10k - £20k its very hard to have a parent stay at home, because you are above most benefit thresholds, yet arent earning enough to have a life thats anything above just existing

Flea

The lower end of £10-20k.

I certainly wouldn't describe our life as "just existing". We have a car, computers, internet access, home phone, mobile phones, a comfortable house with a lovely garden, decent furniture, good food, nice holidays and far too much "stuff".

OrkneyStar

Downshifting groceries

SusanC wrote: »

The lower end of £10-20k.

I certainly wouldn't describe our life as "just existing". We have a car, computers, internet access, home phone, mobile phones, a comfortable house with a lovely garden, decent furniture, good food, nice holidays and far too much "stuff".

Are you me lol ? (Or am I you ?)
Sounds very like our situation (well except some of the nice furniture lol)

SusanC_2

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Are you me lol ? (Or am I you ?)
Sounds very like our situation (well except some of the nice furniture lol)

LOL I did say "decent" - not nice (although I think most of it is nice). If you're interested, you can see a tour of my old house here.

ella_ella_ella

Downshifting groceries

SusanC wrote: »

LOL I did say "decent" - not nice (although I think most of it is nice). If you're interested, you can see a tour of my old house here.

I already had a nosy around you house lol. You told me about the park in Durham a while ago and I had a peek then!!

rocketdog_2

Downshifting groceries

I've just finished my career in order to be a SAHM and I'm so glad I have done.

libbyc3

Having a lodger

with regard to getting a lodger in to be a SAHM - this led to a career change for me.
We moved just before no 4 was born into a house which we knew we would only be able to afford with either me working or renting a room out. we were going to rent to foreign students but by chance I came across a leaflet about supported lodgings for 16-18 year olds.
After a assessment we were taken on and had a succession of teenagers come and live with us. This ment I combined being at home with my own as well as being landlady and support to the extra young person.
We enjoyed this so much we decided to become full foster carers.
I had only intented to be at home for 3 - 5 years, mainly because I couldn't actually afford to work because of childcare. Now we are just going through a role swap so my OH will be full time carer.
Think what I'm trying to say is getting a lodger in if you have the space need not mean getting some strange person invading your space. The kids we rented to were homeless through no fault of their own, and having them stay really filled my 'missing work' gap as it brought in income and I interacted with adults outside the home - ie the housing department.
Many local authorities run these schemes.

OrkneyStar

Downshifting groceries

SusanC wrote: »

LOL I did say "decent" - not nice (although I think most of it is nice). If you're interested, you can see a tour of my old house here.

Wow, great pics and great blog too, might have to bookmark that one (although it seemed to crash on me a couple of times ?)

redmel1621

Downshifting groceries

flea72 wrote: »

The UK average is £27k, now i would assume any family would be able to have a sahp based on that income. tbh anyone with an income over £20k should be able to have one parent stay at home by making 'cutbacks'

So how below average does your OH earn?

for people who earn between £10k - £20k its very hard to have a parent stay at home, because you are above most benefit thresholds, yet arent earning enough to have a life thats anything above just existing

Flea

I don't know anyone who earns that...my friend's husband is a dept manager at a well known sports store and he only earns 16 000, so the staff would earn less than that!!

I think a common theme here is that mum's who return to work are higher earners....in most cases, I imagine, they enjoy their jobs, and it is probably some kind of career that they have worked hard at and built up for themselves.

I would go back to work full-time if I was already qualified and working in my chosen career, but unfortunately that is not the case, and I begrudgingly work 2 days a week in a job that I don't really enjoy. I would also be close to earning that 'average' wage, if I was qualified.

We have never, ever been well off though so have nothing to compare our current situation to. the most we have ever earnt was before ds1 came along and we were both working full-time our joint income was about 25 000pa....pathetic eh? At the moment we are working at improving ours and the kids future, dh is a full-time student, I work part-time, study part-time and look after the kids for the majority of the time and I am exhaused all the time:)

Mel x

Sami_Bee

Downshifting groceries

libbyc3 wrote: »

with regard to getting a lodger in to be a SAHM - this led to a career change for me.
We moved just before no 4 was born into a house which we knew we would only be able to afford with either me working or renting a room out. we were going to rent to foreign students but by chance I came across a leaflet about supported lodgings for 16-18 year olds.
After a assessment we were taken on and had a succession of teenagers come and live with us. This ment I combined being at home with my own as well as being landlady and support to the extra young person.
We enjoyed this so much we decided to become full foster carers.
I had only intented to be at home for 3 - 5 years, mainly because I couldn't actually afford to work because of childcare. Now we are just going through a role swap so my OH will be full time carer.
Think what I'm trying to say is getting a lodger in if you have the space need not mean getting some strange person invading your space. The kids we rented to were homeless through no fault of their own, and having them stay really filled my 'missing work' gap as it brought in income and I interacted with adults outside the home - ie the housing department.
Many local authorities run these schemes.

This reminds me of Feelinggood's post about 'safety' of a lodger recently it was in the news that SS/some council (whomever deals with it) made a mistake and placed a teen in supported lodging with a family and the teen sexually asaulted the children:eek: obviously (I hope!) an isolated incident but still I doubt I'd take that chance:o

we have/are considering fostering as I love children and am far from a career woman:)

also I wanted to point out that those speculating about CTC Vs wages are correct My OH earns around £23Kpa and my wage was £12.7kpa which has put us in the not worth me going back to work group

DaisyFlower

I work 3 days a week and have the best of both worlds. Lots of time with my DS yet still have the work/adult interaction.

He is at school so there is no reason at all for me to be home in the day, theres only so much housework to be done. I get to still do some school runs and see all the events at school. I have a good holiday allowance so get lots of time off in school hols.

I cant see myself being SAHM, I want DS to grow up with a good work ethic and for him to understand that being a mum doesnt mean you cant work as well. I also dont think its fair that DH should shoulder all the financial responsibility when I am capable of working as well. I'd feel guilty shopping for nice things if I wasn't contributing to the finances.

I think as long as the family is self supporting it doesnt matter if one person or both work, its down to personal choice.