Partner moving in and DLA or not?

delain

As soon as i have found a job i will be coming off the benefits?

It's not like i've chosen to be unemployed!

Unfortunately childcare has been difficult to find and now that my girls have stopped smearing the walls with excrement and have improved enough to go to a childcare facility (my family all work so no help there) finding a job is near enough impossible!

I'm not hugely qualified and why would even sainsburys and adsa (who i check every week for jobs!) take on a mum of three when they can have single uni leavers with no family commitments?

There is nothing i would love more than to be working as being at home all the time drives me nuts and oddly enough i don't see why the taxpayer should continue to support me either now that working is a possibility again!

And i haven't been whining about a 'live in' boyfriend, i was ideally looking to be in work and then we were going to live together (to support ourselves and each other)

All i've said is that it doesn't seem fair that the system penalises people for trying to make a stable family unit.

Vicky123

People with AS generally lack empathy, I would like to know what everyone else's excuse is?
Hidden disability again, it is like telling a person in a wheelchair they are too lazy to get up and walk, beggars belief.
Worth noting autism is estimated to be as high as 1-56 and rising year on year, it could come to a home near you soon, wonder if any of you will be quick to point out to your nearest and dearest that they are hiding behind their disability.
Vicky

Zara33

delain wrote: »

All i've said is that it doesn't seem fair that the system penalises people for trying to make a stable family unit.

Benefits are better for a single parent aren't they :D

DaisyFlower

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

Its very judgemental of you to class all single mums on benefit as lazy, the 3 of us on here are obviously not.

1 still works, 1 is looking for work & so shall I once ive had my surgery.

Ive just about had enough of all you spiteful bullying posters, ive seen how u speak to anyone on here that claims benefits that you dont agree with.

Unfortunately for u & lucky for us ur not in charge & never will be, it seems that everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it is the same opinion as yours.

Come back & personally attack me as much as u want, u dont know me, from what ive heard alot of new posters feel the same way as me.

I shall not be posting on this or any other forum again, my life is difficult enough already with being witch hunted.

Pot, Kettle, Black? It was ok for you to be judgemental re immigrants.

ESA does help a lot of people on these boards. He/She is also entitled to their own opinion re benefits, the same as we all are.

Kriss Kross makes a very good point, if you are happy to take taxpayers money to support yourself then you need to abide by the rules set. If you dont like the rules then work for your money and you can have your partner stay whenever.

[Deleted User]

Vicky123 wrote: »

People with AS generally lack empathy, I would like to know what everyone else's excuse is?
Hidden disability again, it is like telling a person in a wheelchair they are too lazy to get up and walk, beggars belief.
Worth noting autism is estimated to be as high as 1-56 and rising year on year, it could come to a home near you soon, wonder if any of you will be quick to point out to your nearest and dearest that they are hiding behind their disability.
Vicky

Ha Ha Ha

Having a disability hidden or otherwise is no excuse for rudness, laziness and racisim.

I have epilepsy, dyspraxia & dislocated kneecaps, I work full time and did so while bringing up my nephew who has learning disabilities alone.
My husaband has AS and works full time as a teacher. Saying those with AS lack empathy is a genralisation, some do some dont as is the same with those not having AS.

She is playing a victim and (some) of you are falling for it, blaming disabities and children for their arrogant and racisit behaviour and reason for sitting on her !!! taking off the state. "poor me" http://ezinearticles.com/?Beliefs-and-the-Victim-Syndrome&id=134940

Sometimes people need a kick up the !!! and to be told they are lazy to get them off their !!!. I did when I was younger, just some people never do get off their !!!.

[Deleted User]

delain wrote: »

And i haven't been whining about a 'live in' boyfriend, i was ideally looking to be in work and then we were going to live together (to support ourselves and each other)

All i've said is that it doesn't seem fair that the system penalises people for trying to make a stable family unit.

You're right to some degree, however if you or anyone else needs to be part of the system we need to play by the rules.

The rules are not clear, and the ones which are we may not feel are fair but they are the rules and we have to abide by them. If it means not seeing much of each other then do it. If it's a real relationship it will stand the test and survive, if not and only spending 1 night together or not sharing mail boxes and bills is such a strain then maybe the relationship never was right?

NASA_2

Thanks to krisskross and daisyflower - I do try to give out advice when required - but I am also entitled to an opinion just like everyone else. Everything I do on this site is done on a personal level and is nothing to do with my work.

Vicky123

I think I said further up this thread Shel that autism is a spectrum condition, glad you find it's funny!
Your husband is obviously really high functioning.
My opinion already stated is that autism is probably over diagnosed, no way do I believe people should be just claiming benefits when really there is not a lot wrong with them or using AS as an excuse for being different or even something of a misfit.
However if you knew anything at all of the genuine suffers of AS and autism then you would know that Breastcancer lady is behaving in a completely typical manner, just because your husband isn't that affected doesn't make you right.
I'm partially deaf should I say that those who are saying they hear nothing at all are just putting it on?
I suppose it's good there is a forum like this, lets the totally ignorant vent their spleen, after all who else is going to listen to them:rotfl:
Vicky

happymumto2

_shel wrote: »

IF your kids get a diagnosis then apply, I woudnt suggest applying for DLA until then because at the minute they do not have a disability.

A statement of educational needs may not be enough on its own to claim DLA as this is not a diagnosed disability. It may suggest your kids have some autistic tendencies, educational behavioural needs or something else, but this is still not a diagnosis that can only be done by a medical proffessional, the statement is done by a social worker who is not qualified to diagnois but can refer to someone who can.

Though if they get a statement it can be used to support an application for DLA if they also have a disability so wait until you have both of them done and get some help with the forms from CAB or welfare rights.

You do not need a diagnosis to get DLA my DS received (high rate care, low rate mobility), at the age of 4, it is to do with care needs not a diagnosis.
He is now 6, and 1 month before his 6th birthday we had the autististic spectrum diagnosis, yet I have been having DLA for 2 years before that. If you can prove your child needs more care than a child of same age they will ook at it sympthetically. My DS statement came into effect in October 08, again a year after he had ben awarded DLA. Is nothing to do with any of these things, is all about are needs.

asbestos2008

As a parent of an autistic child, may i point out that if he says anything that will upset other people we tell him that it is "unacceptable" or "socially unacceptable" as BCS you seem to have managed to get through adulescence and child rearing with what i would think is very high functioning AS then you should not be able to hide behind the label on your racist comments.

Autistic children still need boundaries as so do autistic/AS adults. I am suggesting you write yourself a social story book about what has happened on this site and learn from it!!!!!!!!!!

Please note that I only commented because it is hard enough to raise awareness amongst NT people out there about the hardships faced by invisible disabilities. My son is given his allowances, but he will always be expected to follow acceptable guidelines. Think of it as a rule... I must think before i open my mouth....or will that the be the same as ASD cant lie.......they can, esp when not face to face. Low funtioning classic autistic children and adults will not be able to lie, learn the meaning of socially acceptable etc, an aspie can and should.

A friend of mine with autistic twins uses a hand over mouth motion when she thinks her twins will say something completely unappropriate...try it it works.

My son has to apologise, Sometimes he may not understand why...... but he will.