Partner moving in and DLA or not?

Zara33

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

So why has my son been diagnosed with ASD not ASC?

Probably because it is very new and hasn't filtered through to the relevant people as of yet.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

Zara33 wrote: »

Perhaps would could carry this discussion on the relevant board rather than disturbing this thread further?

Im done thanks, I only went down this road cos I was replying to other people posting anyway.

calleyw

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

I meant I have paid full tax & NI since leaving school 20 yrs ago.

And I suspect you have had far more out than you ever paid in.

And what is full tax and NI What you mean is that you have paid Tax and NI. So has anyone who works in this country and earns over the thresholds.

At least most of these "immigrants" get off they backsides and work for min wage which is more than can be said for some people in this country.

Yours

Calley

viktory

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

Obviously not as I wasnt referring to the polital asylum immigrants but the ones that have flooded our country since their's have joined the EU.

Just because my political opinion is different to yours doesnt mean im racist if that were the case the majority of British people are racist in your eyes too.

People that come from the EU are perfectly entitled to be here - as we are in their home country. Plus, I think I am correct in thinking that they are not entitled to benefits for a year. Finally, they would have to take their place in the housing queue just like everybody else.

Your remarks were racist and trying to use autism as a way of justifying your comments is insulting to those who do have autism. Suggesting that I don't understand your very clear remarks is making you look extremely foolish. If you have any sense at all you will publicy retract your remarks.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

calleyw wrote: »

And I suspect you have had far more out than you ever paid in.

And what is full tax and NI What you mean is that you have paid Tax and NI. So has anyone who works in this country and earns over the thresholds.

At least most of these "immigrants" get off they backsides and work for min wage which is more than can be said for some people in this country.

Yours

Calley

Im not sure whether your personally attacking me or not so im sorry if your not.

In 1997 I found out I had breast cancer, I was only 24 & they cut it all out, for the next 9 years I had to attend yearly hospital appointments for mammograms etc.

Over the years ive had a few scares & had to have biopsies, ultrasounds & mri's luckily these were all false alarms, whilst still working & suffering from anxiety & depression brought on by the stress .

Unfortunately in 2006 during one of these yearly examinations it appeared that my breast cancer had indeed come back, I had a bilateral mastectomy in Oct 2006, I was 33 yrs old.

I have had a further 4 surgerys since then due to complications with my reconstruction, I now only hav 1 breast, this has caused me further depression, I actually attempted suicide on numerous occasions.

I am now waiting for my GP to find someone who can help me with my reconstruction, during this time I was also diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome which has also knocked me for 6.

I am hoping once ive had my surgery my depression will eliviate & that I will be able to return to work rather than just sit on my !!!! claiming benefits.

Tbh id resigned myself to the fact that I would never meet anyone due to my low self esteem after my surgeries & my communication problems due to my Aspperger's.

I met Marc on Facebook in December, initially we were just online friends but then he wanted to meet me, I was terrified as I hadn't told him about my health problems.

He was so understanding & is still around, I think myself so lucky that he puts up with me and part of the reason I don't want him to move in is that im worried my Asperger's will be too much for him & he will leave me, just like my husband did.

Im not telling you this to feel sorry for me as I am a survivor like my name says & I know im lucky but I wanted you to know the whole story before you judge me.

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

viktory wrote: »

People that come from the EU are perfectly entitled to be here - as we are in their home country. Plus, I think I am correct in thinking that they are not entitled to benefits for a year. Finally, they would have to take their place in the housing queue just like everybody else.

Your remarks were racist and trying to use autism as a way of justifying your comments is insulting to those who do have autism. Suggesting that I don't understand your very clear remarks is making you look extremely foolish. If you have any sense at all you will publicy retract your remarks.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind ~ Dr. Seuss

krisskross

delain wrote: »

I am lucky not to have that particular problem, but we do live in a small house so they have bunk beds and one threw the other off the top bunk bed, and one one occasion i was woken at 5am because one had bitten the other on the face! I have managed (with help) to cut right down on their routine issues. Before, to get to the bus stop to go to school they had to pick 2 flowers, walk a certain path and count all the fence posts on the way which used to drive me nuts!:eek:

Can I say that my, as far as I know, perfectly normal children did things like this. It honestly didn't occur to me that there might be something wrong with them.

As to the relationship and staying over issues if you really care about each other then it will work out. Even long distance. My husband and I had a long distance courtship over 2 years. Mostly by post as we could only afford to phone once a week.

He used to travel, a 4 hour each way journey, once a fortnight and stay in a hotel overnight. This year we will have been married 48years.

viktory

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind ~ Dr. Seuss

Unfortunately all you have demonstrated on this thread is your ignorance without an original thought in your head.

DaisyFlower

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The thing is, we are busy discussing here whether having someone stay over, receiving their post, having car insurance with them etc is classed as 'a couple' for benefit purposes and some have said that it's 'unfair' that people on benefits are not allowed a relationship.

But this is not the case is it? No one has actually suggested another alternative, which is don't have them stay over, don't receive their post, don't go on their car insurance - i.e. just be boyfriend and girlfriend and go out togther, or visit and then go home.That's having a relationship without being classed as a couple..

If you are doing the things a couple do, you will be classed as a couple. Fair enough I think!

A great post :T

Strange that the OP is suddenly considering moving her partner in since the letter re compliance.

As for Breast Cancer Survivor, your remarks re immigrants were totally uncalled for. Most immigrants work for min wage and work hard. Lots of UK born people wont work for min wage and would rather stay on benefits.

Where a person is a single parent and the "partner" is frequently a visitor, stays overnight, eats with you etc then I could say you are a couple. If its serious enough to let them stay over in front of the children then its not a casual relationship (or maybe I am just naive).

calleyw

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

Im not sure whether your personally attacking me or not so im sorry if your not.
........

Your point is (and no I am not attacking you personally)

Lots of us here have back stories. I do. I am in be benefit system by proxy.

I am just trying to work out what you are talking about. You say you paid full NI and Tax I have no idea what you are talking about. Yes you have paid NI and Tax just like every other worker in the country. And they too if they become ill would be entitled to the same benefits. IB(ESA) is not means tested so if your have a partner living with you the only benefits effected would be Housing and council tax benefit. As you have children you would get child tax credits if the partner works over 16 hours a week.

Yes granted you have had a tough time but so have lots of other people. The people who reply on these thread try to help. They do if for free. Because they want to help.

We don't make the rules. If you don't like them then do something about it. Campaign, lobby your MP etc.

As I said if you don't live together or have financial ties with each other then there is no problem. But seeing as the government are paying you money in replacement for a wage then you have to dance to their tune. If you don't like the rules then pull out of the system.

Regular long term posters are becoming jaded because they are being picked on and being abused by Op's. Because they don't like what they hear, Or give scant details and then chuck something else in the pot which they forgot earlier. Which then puts a different slant on it.

And also this question of losing benefits if partner moves in is always cropping up. The impression you get is all the OP cares about is the money and not the fact that they want to have a relationship. Having a relationship is about supporting each other through thick and thin and sickness and in health. Not whinging about the fact that you are happy to share a bed but not help support them while they are out of work, sick etc.

But of course most of us sit here with our rose tinted specs on and know nothing and have no dealings with the DWP:rolleyes:

We are lucky in this country to have the systems that we do. Free at the point of use health care, benefits that are actually generous when non-working people can end up with more money than someone who works a 40 hour week once they have paid rent/mortgage and council tax.

I wish you all the best with your recovery and surgery.

Yours


Calley