Today is a new day!

taxi73

keep on going hun xx

InaPickle

Enjoy the weekend away and worry about everything else when you get back.

Perhaps the nice receptionist lady will have a word for you, on the quiet. x

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Hi there, well, yes I am pleased I spoke to the lovely reception lady as I had a phone call from the headteacher a little later that morning. A complete fluke that I was in to take the call...Anyway, bearing in mind it was she and the Education Welfare Officer who had reported us to Soc Services before, she told me she was v surprised to hear I was worried we were on the route to a possible referral again and they wouldn't do that to me. Really, I wanted to say, wasn't that what you did before? Instead, I just said I didn't want to go through the nightmare ever again. She assured me that they are more than happy with how things are going, with dd in general, her progress, she's a credit to me etc etc. They have no concerns whatsoever, when we are late we are by no means the latest to arrive and I can relax and worry no more... So, problem solved..
Other news. We are off to Newcastle in about three hours or so. Just got to finish packing, and get dressed. Dd still asleep at mo! I popped a note to my mum and dad's yesterday as they were out and hopefully that will all return to calmness on our return. I've simply told them I love them but what they want is simply not going to happen, and I don't want them to keep being so negative to me.
All the bills are up to date. I have enoough for the mortgage due out on tuesday. It's very tight but it's there. I have a plan in place to catch up on our return and so thats all in order..
That's it..Off to get organised and get on the road..

Verbatim

Hope you're having a lovely break and I'm glad the head has re-assured you.

fern44

I have just read your diary from start to finish and think you are an absolute star dont give up your doing every thing right
Ive sent you a PM

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

We are back and had a lovely time. Had a chance to have some time away from dd as some others offered to look after her while I went out for a couple of evening meals with the adults. I wasn't allowed to spend a penny. The man who runs the charity insisted on paying. He's desperately trying to raise more funds as it's likely at the current time that the charity will be no more this time next year. The thing is its like anything unless murder hits you personally who is going to want to contribute to the welfare of children whose parent has been murdered? It's the ongoing cost to health and welfare for those children and families that is the issue and its this that I am becoming aware is not fully realised. And dealing with the ongoing complications that come up as the "due" date comes nearer of the release of the offender etc. The charity campaigns for the rights of victims who they believe are often forgotten.. Anyway, it was a lovely lovely time. A chance to feel quite normal feeling all the upset emotions I feel eight years on because people whose loved ones were murdered a couple of decades ago still feel like I do now, so its a case of learning how to manage it all, and help my dd through it all as she realises the ins and outs of what happened...Dd had a wonderful time. I saw her little face full of carefreeness and smiling and I realised we had lost our way a bit here with everything going on. It made me cry seeing her so happy and in her element with some of the events put on for the kids. She went horse riding, go karting, bumper car riding, swimming. I have captured that image in my mind and on photo to keep forever. Yes, very magical to see her carefreeness enjoying the moment and not fretting about why her daddy isn't here and how many bruises I've acquired from falling. Bless her.....It helped me think we are going to be ok, and to thank god once more for having this charity's support...
Back to the finances, have updated my signature to day. Have paid off the first £10K of my debt. Hoorah!! Now , this has been quite slow progress so far as my first couple of years since my light bulb moment was getting to grips with how much I was spending and putting in place the required cut backs etc. Now, on average, I am currently paying off £850 a month including my mortgage. And this will fasten pace as the debt reduces and I keep my repayments the same so I am v pleased with progress so far.
Have recd a great deal of encouragement from friends saying to me, dont give up. You can do this. We are behind you. Haven't heard from mum or my sister since they would have recd my letter. That prob means they are offended. But how else can you say you are simply not going to do what they want you to do. I'm not going to do what they want me to do. End of.. I love them but that does not mean I have to do what they say. I realise it will probably isolate me even more but if that is what it will be in order for me to protect my right to keep working for as long as I possibly can then that will have to be the way it is..
So, have a lot to do today but all nice things to get organised for the week and potter round. Have already put a chicken casserole on in the slow cooker so thats done. Just about to have a late brekkie and get dressed and get on with the day..

taxi73

Great positive post and so glad you and DD really enjoyed your holiday.Also looks like you had a great deal of thinking time which can only be a good thing as you've managed to come to your own realisations.I agree with your friends you are doing great and should never give up ..it's your life and you've to do what you are happy to do not what other people expect.
Well done on getting past the £10k mark that's fantastic

satchmo1

P&F you really do live up to your MSE name, and you are an inspiration - thank you!

What is the name of the charity supporting you and others in a similar position? If they have a website it could be worth putting it on here and your friends might then flag it on their facebook page to muster support?

Hold firm on your position, and use positive reinforcement to your family along the lines of "I understand and appreciate your concern. You are very dear to me." Use something like that (in your own words) whenever they make negative comments, without falling into the trap of negativity. Just keep repeating your chosen phrase - it will reinforce to both them and your DD that negativity can be overcome.

Two other thoughts on your business: Do family purchase anything from you? It could be worth asking them to give your brochures to their contacts?

Have you heard anything more from your MP in terms of promoting your cause, our business, etc?

Best wishes, Satchmo x

Verbatim

Good ideas from Satchmo there.
I'm so glad you had a lovely holiday and that your dd was so carefree and enjoyed the activities. It must have been great for you too to have some evenings off and some adult company. That must be hard for you as I guess there's not much in the budget for babysitting. Are there any other single parent friends that you could swap babysitting with?

i hope your Mum and sister finally get the message!

love V

Verbatim

OOH and I forgot to say well done on the first £10k!