Today is a new day!

boredofbeingathome

That is lovely news you sound so relieved

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

So, its the school hols and all is going v well so far. Dd worked with me on Mon and we had a lovely picnic by a local pond. Have picked up some great orders. Am set to achieve a higher bonus target than last month so am v pleased about that. Mortgage up to date. Bills all up to date and will continue to be. More things due to be sold at auction for more money in the pot. Have refined my debt busting to be debt and mortgage free in 10 years and I am excited by the challenge. Have a realistic plan for my business for the next 10 years. Am trying to be more kind to myself so by that whilst I mowed the garden on Sunday which does take me an age, sat in the sun for a while and enjoyed listening to the little birds and watching my dd play. Simple pleasures, thats what I am focusing on. Today is a day off of sorts. Going to the bank shortly, have an order to submit, and then dd and I are going out with mum for a cream tea! later. V nice. And the sun is just about shining... Yes, all is well today. Thank you.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

So, am working today. Achieved a higher bonus than last month which is where I need to be to keep on the straight and narrow. A new "Monthly Bargain" catalogue came out yesterday so I decided rather than put out my books before that arrived I would wait. It means working with dd today but Ive promised her a milkshake and a snack in one of our favorite cafes that we go to less often in a nearby village, in fact hardly ever, these days since our lightbulb moment!

Feel so much better in the school hols. Its not having to get up so early, thats what it is. It just takes me an age to wake up when Im waking up at 6/7, the extra hour getting up at 8ish makes all the difference to how I operate and feel and can last during the day. Clearly not a morning person!! and prob never have been but then Ive taken medication since I was 18 so I wonder just how much that plays a part. When I worked for LLoyds TSB to secure a promotion they actually allowed me to start half an hour later, that was when I was in my twenties so clearly its always been an issue when I think back! And the warmer weather, makes such a difference to how mobile I feel I am. I probably walk with the usual limp but I dont feel its as noticeable. I feel less guarded watching every step to lessen the likelihood of falling. My sleep patterns could still improve but Ive resigned myself to being realistic and that is a work in progress. In other words Im not telling myself off as much if I wake up in the middle of the night still in my armchair, and then take myself to bed. Am trying to be kind to myself like the doc advised. Yes, spring and summer are v welcome...
So a lot to do today but by the end of it money will be in the bank to cover all bills next week, everyone is upstraight, all the catalogues I possess will be out to customers. Feeling much calmer, more hopeful, my family haven't exactly said anything to me but I can see my mum wants to support me in my decision to continue as I am working to the best ofmy ability, and has offered to do the odd food shop to keep our fridge topped up. Very kind of her. TBH, I am quite enjoying scrimping and saving and making do, its become a personal challenge as to how much I can save and put towards my debt busting in addition to the min payts. Ive kept all my monthly spending details from 2 years ago, and the difference to now is quite amazing. My budget for petrol was the same then as it is now yet it has increased in price quite dramatically. So, clearly my efforts to be more economical with how and when I use the car is working. Popped in Asda the other day with mum and spent just 57p on tea bags and custard creams. All their cheapest range but it all does just the same. Yes, today Im feeling v hopeful and feel that this debt busting is almost something I need to be doing to become a better and wiser person for the sake of dd and the environment and for the future well being of us. Dd is certainly learning v wise, sensible habits now that will hopefully hold her in good stead as she becomes a young woman and beyond..

Also going to treat ourselves to a curry from Asda, £2.50, (used to be £14 or so from the take away up the road) later while we watch Britains Got Talent.....

taxi73

Sounds like you are doing amazingly well and sounding very positive as usual

beanielou

What a lovely positive post

Verbatim

Hi PAF

I was away from the 15th so missed your last post. Wow that's amazing that you can manage your petrol with the same budget as 2 years ago. I quite agree about buying the basic range (if you try them and like them anyway!). I don't see the point in buying exactly the same stuff but which is twice as expensive but has a better carton out of embarrassment, which is what it comes down to! In my student days I hitched a lift in a lorry carrying marzipan and the driver said he had 3 drops and they'd all be packaged by the different companies but were exctly the same despite the different prices!
Not sure if it's still the same with marzipan but with orange juice, as long as it's 100% juice and you're happy with "from concentrate" rather than the "freshly squeezed" with bits expensive ones they are all the same but at widely differing prices. It's paying for snob value!!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Verbatim wrote: »

Hi PAF

I was away from the 15th so missed your last post. Wow that's amazing that you can manage your petrol with the same budget as 2 years ago. I quite agree about buying the basic range (if you try them and like them anyway!). I don't see the point in buying exactly the same stuff but which is twice as expensive but has a better carton out of embarrassment, which is what it comes down to! In my student days I hitched a lift in a lorry carrying marzipan and the driver said he had 3 drops and they'd all be packaged by the different companies but were exctly the same despite the different prices!
Not sure if it's still the same with marzipan but with orange juice, as long as it's 100% juice and you're happy with "from concentrate" rather than the "freshly squeezed" with bits expensive ones they are all the same but at widely differing prices. It's paying for snob value!!

Hi Verbatim
On closer inspection the reasons for using less petrol are basically not using the car as much! I used to attend meetings, and the travelling distance could be over an hour away that no longer happens for now. I use the car minimally at the weekend, and I am trying to be more sensible during the week. For eg, if a customer isn't in when I deliver their goods I do suggest a time when I am in the area doing other things so they may have to wait a couple of days whereas previously I would make a special journey. It doesn't seem to have effected customers views on my customer service which i pride myself on so that seems to be working!!! Furthermore Ive taken a tip from Martin and never fill my car up. Only half full so as to maximise effective petrol consumption!!!!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, yesterday was a lovely day. We watched the wedding at ourlocal park on a big screen with a friend and her dd, took a picnic. A lovely moment was when the royal antham was played, and instinctively everyone in the park stood up. Such an amazing moment, and it was a time to be proud to be british!!

Other news, my mum is planning to have a family get together next week for her birthday and she told me my sis is worried about seeing me and she felt I should apologise to her for worrying her by telling her I was feeling low. I agreed and so I did (despite neither feeling the need to apologise to me!)but my sis isn't happy because I didn't apologise for specifically upsetting her! I said I have said sorry and won't be saying it again. She has since texted me saying my dh is responsible for a lot of the things in my life, not her or mum. I haven't responded to such a below the cuff statement and so clearly now Im sorry I contacted her to say sorry !... It could go on and on so my lesson learnt is never go to family when I feel low or am in need of a bit of temporary help such as after a fall. Accept that they want to get on with their own lives, that they think I would be better of meeting someone, giving up work and going on Incapacity Benefit, move on from it, work on myself, become a more stronger, capable person, believe in myself and have faith that the path I am cutting out for myself is the right one for me. I am simply not prepared to give up all that I have achieved just because I trip up regularly, and fall over from time to time. Just last month, I was fourth in sales in the group Im part of out of some 500 distributors. I wish my family could see just how amazing that is in these recession times. I have built up a great reputation with my customers, I am just not going to throw that away because of my disability. All the while I can do this even if it feels by the skin of my teeth I will.. In my mums words they will just have to keep "watching in horror". Dear mum I do love her but neither she or my sis can see how unhelpful and impractical their comments have been. I will always be grateful for what she does do, and I have told her that and I have also told her I will never stop fighting. After all, she always used to tell me how she had to fight for me to get a place in a Spastics school as they were called in the 70's. Why would she bother to do that if she simply wants me to give up all that I am achieving despite the odds when I could still have half my life to live again yet!! And also dear mum is in her 70s with her own business that she loves so she knows more than anyone how fulfilling that can be. I am most certainly not going to give up at the age of 45 when I can keep going with determination!Its just not going to happen..

So, on that note, dd and I are working today. The bills are all sorted to date which I am really chuffed about given the double BH. There is no room for complacency at all, I would not be telling the truth if I said things were not tight, but all I will do is keep on and do my best, and ensure we have a lovely rest of a day, tom and BH Mon....

Keeping_Motivated

POF would you ever consider letting your family read this diary?

InaPickle

*Hugs*

Next time they are being so negative could you put the shoe on the other foot by saying 'How would you feel if I said that you were too old to work and that you should retire, and give up working as you should technically be drawing your pension. How would that feel?', then see what your mum says. If she says 'Well, there's no reason for me to do so as I'm still able to work', perhaps you could say something along the lines of 'Well so can I, and until that changes permenantly, I'm going to do so. You don't give up easily, so why do you expect me to do so? I'm your daughter and you taught me to fight. You can't then tell me which fights to fight and which to ignore: and me providing for me and my daughter is the biggest fight worth fighting as far as I am concerened.'

I bet once she thinks about it, she will go very quiet, very quickly!