Today is a new day!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

I have been reading some of the diaries on here and have found them really motivational and positive. There is a sense that everyone is in the DFW state together, and supporting each other on the way to be DF. Thank you!

My story, how or where do I start? I am a widow, my husband was murdered 5 and a half years ago. Still is v surreal to say that . However, we have a beautiful daughter who is 6 and my husband lives on through her and when she wants her daddy, I tell her he is a very special daddy who is with us where ever we go!. I also have a disability and am self employed working a business I absolutely love. The debt has been there since before my husbands situation, much of it he would admit was from him and I chose to take it on in my name at the time thinking everything would work out ok. I had always been the main breadwinner anyway, and the house has always been in my name. Now, I feel lucky to be alive and have debt to pay off, he doesn't have that luxury, bless him. So, now I am facing up to the fact that I need to take control of the situation, sieze the moment, not forget him but start to look to the future more and in doing so get rid of the debt once and for all.
I have completed a SOA and will be debt free in 5 years if I continue to pay what I am, that is then the worst case scenario. The plan is to pay more off and so I should beat this. Things I have already started are:

1. A spending diary and a monthly "report" of what I am paying off each month, detailing my progress so far.
2. Have set up a "Happiness and Health, Success and Wealth" folder. In it are the above records, and a section dedicated to my daughter in which I am detailing things I dont want to forget, such as her first hand stand and other trivia! I feel I missed out on a lot of her growing up with working whilst dealing with my husband's situation with the trial and all that had to happen, and bringing her up on my own. My memories are a haze and I want to make the most of every day of her childhood. Ive also included a section for me in which I detail things I have done which make me happy. Also, my business and personal goals for the next 1 to 5 years are in there too.
3. I have a goal board in my lounge detailing things I want to achieve. I look at it daily and tell myself they will happen with hard work, determination and self discipline!
4. I have put positive affirmations around our home to keep myself in a positive state of mind. To remind myself that I am doing ok, that my daughter and I will continue to be ok, and all will be well with both us and the business which will grow with my continued efforts, and with that growth, so will my income and our future financial security.
5. I am monitoring my eating habits, and going on my exercise bike daily. This helps me stay as healthy as poss with my mobility issues, and so I feel I am doing all I can possibly do to help myself and ensure I am ok to continue working.

I intend to use this diary to help keep me motivated and focused on the future, a DF one of course!, and want to record my highs and lows as I go..

Thank you!

Buffythedebtslayer

What a wonderful and amazing person you are. I don't really know what else to write so apologies if that sounds trite.
I shall subscribe to your dairy,

really inspiring xxx

Raini

Hello & welcome P&F, Just wanted to second Buffy.

Amazing & inspiring! x

hypno06

Welcome to DFW! You sound very focused and positive, and that is half the battle in all honesty. On those days where we lose the focus and feel negative, the debt, along with everything else in life, seems so much harder to deal with.

Put a bit of a "shine" on it, and suddenly it's not so bad after all!

Use your diary to rant, vent, and laugh.......and you will soon have that debt well under control!

catspaw

So positive,
welcome to the boards and good luck:A

beanielou

Welcome to MSE
Happy shiney new diary.

westiedog

Welcome. I thought me having debts was bad enough but after reading your post I felt guilty. You are truly an insiration. I wish you and your daughter all the best for the future xxx :A

westiedog

Sorry meant inspiration :eek: xx

MessyMare

Welcome...I'm fairly new here but just wanted to say that your attitude and outlook really shine, what a beautiful strong person you are! All the best

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Just quickly popping on before bed! Thank you all so much for your comments. I don't think it is me that is the inspiration, it's all of you! On the finances front, was really chuffed to see that by saving £2 approx a day during June instead of spending it on lunch, I have managed to pay off a further £50 off one of my debts. Potentially a saving of at least £600 per annum plus interest saved! On the down side, I have been charged today by my bank the grand sum of £35 for something that went wrong in my acc a couple of weeks ago. I don't yet know what happened, where I went wrong as I haven't looked. I just know my outgoings tomorrow and next week are covered and this weekend I can check where I am with everything! I couldn't face calling the bank today, had a busy schedule with work and needed to focus on that, not get upset, suffice to say what I will be doing is starting the process to reclaim my charges, I think there must be about 9/10 over the last 5 years or so, certainly since my dear husbands situation. That's one thing I don't know if I will ever know how to get over. everything is before or after that event. Well, better go to bed, have a lot to do tomorrow, and will report back my progress as I go. The one thing I hang on to is that whilst I am owing monies, I am not in arrears with anyone, for me this is a big achievement, and I really want to thank you for your kindness, motivation, and support. Take care!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Doing a lot of thinking while driving around today! Don't feel ready to detail all my debts, or my SOA - yet -, but would appreciate thoughts on my life cover for the mortgage. Currently pay £95.17. I know this is a hell of a lot, but wait till I tell you why. I have a disability, and have been prone to falling over etc in years gone by. I only have the use of one good arm, and my left leg isn't too wonderful at times either! My thinking is that if I was to fall, and break my good arm, I would not be able to work for a period of time. My life cover covers me for this possibility, hence the extortionate premium. I have discovered hardly anyone covers for existing conditions so I am fortunate in this regard. Now of course, Im on my own as in single parent too, so I need to provide for my daughter and our independence is crucial. The reasons that motivate me to keep working as hard as I do to build my business are my daughter, future financial security, and to keep my lovely little house. On the other hand, I could save so much a month if I just had the basic cover. The worst Ive done to myself falling over is need dental work and a few days bed rest, not months. And I do now have a stair lift courtesy of a lovely charity who have been a wonderful support since my falling became worse shortly after my husbands situation. So, should I take the chance that all will be well in the fall/accident dept, its been 2 years since my last bad fall, and save myself vast sums of dosh, and instead pay my debt off quicker? Of stay on the safe side and keep paying out? Thanks in advance for any help!