Today is a new day!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Different_Corner wrote: »

Positive and focused.
Just want to say I think you are awesome. I'm in the same situation regarding my DH, be it through very different circumstances.

I go for the guardian angel approach too. It gets me through the bad days. Love In Pursuit too, in face I love anything that fires me up.

Stay with it.

Hi Different Corner, Thanks for your support. Just want to empathise with you and agree that guardian angels can be a godsend ! Have a lovely day and take care of yourself. I find positive affirmations help too, I don't want to forget my DH, we were together for 18 years, married for 10 come nxt week, never will forget him, my DD looks so much like him anyway, however, it's important to keep going isn't it, and focus on the here and now, and what you can do to improve it, hence for me this diary. Take care, take a day at a time, and do everything you can to stay fired up!!.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

chevalier wrote: »

Very moving thread I hope you achieve all of your goals. Make my problems seems such little ones

Whilst I know it is not something you might want to think about, but are you entitled to criminal injuries compensation?

Hi Chevalier

Thank you, yes we did, it went to pay off a portion of my DH debt, a much needed holiday for us, and I chose to get some furniture for my DD room. She was approaching 2/3 when it was awarded I think from memory and I just remember wanting something to "show" for my DH life if you see what I mean, that my DD could enjoy and use daily and that was also needed, and was for her. In truth, I can not recall where the rest went, if there was any left. She was the recipient of the compensation not me, I didn't because of reasons I would rather not go into on here, for regard for my DH memory, but suffice to say I didn't fall into the required rules and it wasn't meant to be. However, I'm ok with it. I wasn't expecting my DD to get anything so that was a wonderful thing to learn that she would, for that to come out of a dreadful situation and of course I am so grateful for my DD anyway, I had started to think we wouldn't have children having tried for the best part of 18 years, and along she came just before everything went pearshaped. She was meant to be, thats how I see it and every day I thank my DH for her. She has kept me going and I hope she will look back at her childhood with fondness as I really endeavour to be the parent she deserves, and give her the life she deserves albeit without her daddy!

linz

Hi, I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said really. I've read your diary up to now and your posts are really positive and inspiring to read. I hope you achieve everything you want to

Lynsey

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Just popped on for a quick update. Am in my lunch break, and just so pleased. Been to see one of my lovely customers this am, she had asked me to keep some bits I had ordered for my parties last Christmas, for her to buy this year at some point. We have agreed a price of £75 which is great, and she will pay me later this week. So £75 extra to go into the pot. My DD is at the holiday club today. We left late to get her there as yours truly fell asleep in the armchair last night .. again. Had been in the middle of sorting out some brochures and so at 3.30am when I woke up I got a cup of tea, and finished sorting them out before going to bed.
Have sold £485 so far this week. Looking forward to next week when I receive my bonus and then will be able to get back upstraight with my credit cards, paying what I took last month to keep up, and then getting back on track with my snowball plan.

So, all is going to be ok. Will get on with work now. Lots to get done, and business calls this eve. Had made a casserole on Sun which will be eaten tonite so that will be nice.

Tomorrow is a day off of sorts. Taking my DD to a playday event at her school club along with a friend and her daughter. Working in the eve, but thats ok.

Off I go to build my business and my fortune! It's been a shaky July but August will see me getting back on track.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well this afternoon I narrowly missed falling over .......again and Ive had a real inner battle with my attitude since then, reminding myself that im doing ok, well more than ok. It shook me up at the time. Its not the end of the world, just I get worried and frustrated and cross with myself for not being more careful. I was rushing, thats what I was doing. Nevertheless did what I needed to do in time to collect DD from the holiday club. This eve have been on the tel, made good headway through my business calls and had supper, cuddled up with DD, and am just about to go to bed, plan to read a section of one of my positive books, that will help me to have a good nights sleep in bed as opposed to the armchair!! and start the new day refreshed. Failure is simply not an option, it never has been, it never will be and it simply does not apply. Having my DD, Being DF and being successful in my business all spur me on to reach my goals and these blips will not stop me.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Just catching up with my finances. Feel that if I can come through July, I can get through anything. A really tight month, living on the edge with money! Will be like this for some time as I intend to follow my Snowball plan, and wherever possible get ahead of it. So this is how it will be for the time being as I want to utilise every penny I can to repay the debt, and then use my time wisely with good quailty time with my DD and focusing on my business which is the key to our future finiancial security.

So, progress since last entry, have paid a further £396.49 off my mortgage and secured debt, leaving £126148.91 to pay, a total of £2647.97 paid off this year so far. Makes me feel good. My other debt I will detail on here once I have updated the figures. The confidence to do so is just about there!

Re work, sales for last 4 week period were £3878 - personal sales - really chuffed with that, particularly when DD has worked with me for much of the last two/three weeks and I fell over again!. Two new people joined my team aswell which Im ecstatic about. With Xmas round the corner, I know this will all continue all the while Im pro-active and focused, my sales have doubled before now in the period leading up to Christmas. and so am v hopeful for more dosh to put towards the debt and just maybe pay my tax bill before January.

I do my spending diary from the 15 to the 15th of every month, but so far I have made huge savings this last month. Tackling my food bill and not eating out or having as many take aways has proved v productive, and Im feeling great about the savings Im making there.

Get my bonus on Thursday and will be able to get upstraight with my debts where I needed to use a couple of cards in July to help with the bills then. Plan to write to the Halifax this weekend regarding my charges over the last 6 years, based on the circumstances in which I acquired them, and see if I can get any positive response from them.

Otherwise focusing on getting the house, washing etc upstraight, and paperwork etc sorted for the coming week which will be v busy. Lots of business calls to make, and lots of sales to obtain. Most importantly enjoying time with my DD when shes not at the holiday club.

Staying positive and focused!

Keeping_Motivated

Hi

I was just wondering why you are overpaying your mortgage rather than the other debt? Not a criticism just wondered. Is all your debt on good rates of interest?

Good luck with your plan to divulge your debt on here it does take courage

KM x

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Hi

I was just wondering why you are overpaying your mortgage rather than the other debt? Not a criticism just wondered. Is all your debt on good rates of interest?

Good luck with your plan to divulge your debt on here it does take courage

KM x

Hi Km

No, Im not paying extra off my morgage, just recording what is paid off after interest deducted from my payments. Makes me feel better about it to see it reducing thats all!

Doing an entry today to remind myself never ever to ask anyone to lend me money again. My order of products did not arrive on friday to deliver. They are arriving tom - Mon. I was planning to pay some of the monies collected from those deliveries which should have been delivered on fri into my bank account on sat am to cover a direct debit going out on tues. My mum banks at same branch as me so knowing I would be able to pay her back on tues am having del the products to customers on mon eve instead I asked if she could lend me the money to cover the direct debit. Its the first time ever Ive asked my parents to help financially, and its only because it was for effectively 24 hours that I felt able to on this occasion. This she has done, she gave me a chq drawn on her account and I expected it to clear by tomorrow, instead on my account it is saying it wont be cleared until thursday. I worked for Lloyds TSB for 18 years, banked with NatWest for a couple of years, and always when a chq was paid in at the branch it was drawn on it would be debited that day and cleared by the following. Not the Halifax for some reason. I tel the help number today at the Halifax to find out why a chq drawn on the same branch as the account its paying into should take 4 days to clear. They tell me my bank should have made sure it was cleared after a day, and have told me to see them tomorrow. So, just one more thing to do on top of what will be already a very busy day with deliveries in addition to everything else that I was expecting to do on fri. Am so fed up. Theres no guarantee that the direct debit will be paid on tues, the worst case scenario is that it will be returned if the branch can not correct their error.

Its at these moments that I wonder if I really am doing ok or whether Im kidding myself. I think I am and then all today despite tel the help phone no this am, I have been worrying about it, I feel like Im not doing as well after all, life feels like Im just about hanging in there, as if Im walking on a tight rope and just about to fall off and I dont want to feel like this. Once again my best is simply not good enough. Sorry for being so miserable to anyone reading this.

Trying to stay calm, but just wishing the branch was open today to sort it out with them and then can feel ok again. Will just have to get on and pray it will be ok tomorrow.

Recording this situation so that WHEN, not if I am debt free I can look back on my progress and be grateful for never feeling this way ever again.

Keeping_Motivated

I hope they manage to sort it out for you, just a stress you could do without when you had done everything to cover yourself so the direct debit would be paid!

I know you are still working up to putting your debt amounts on here but do you feel able to disclose your interest rates yet? I was just wondering because sometimes it is better to make your mortgage interest only and throw that money at the high interest debts to get them down quicker and then start paying the mortgage off again once the debt is gone. Just a thought.

Try and keep positive you are doing everything you can its just when banking policies or errors mess up our plans we can feel like we are walking a fine line but most of us would be the same, they isn't spare money in my account to pay big bills I know that for sure if I waiting on money longer than I thought.

I'm rushing so I hope that post made sense.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

I hope they manage to sort it out for you, just a stress you could do without when you had done everything to cover yourself so the direct debit would be paid!

I know you are still working up to putting your debt amounts on here but do you feel able to disclose your interest rates yet? I was just wondering because sometimes it is better to make your mortgage interest only and throw that money at the high interest debts to get them down quicker and then start paying the mortgage off again once the debt is gone. Just a thought.

Try and keep positive you are doing everything you can its just when banking policies or errors mess up our plans we can feel like we are walking a fine line but most of us would be the same, they isn't spare money in my account to pay big bills I know that for sure if I waiting on money longer than I thought.

I'm rushing so I hope that post made sense.

HiKm

You have given me food for thought.

My actual morgage o/s is £83933.21. The £126148.91 is mortgage plus secured loan which is of course also repayment. My morgage interst rate is 6.5% fixed till 30/9/10. I feel that if I was to pursue the interest only option I would have to wait till this review date anyway to avoid paying extra penalties, although it would be something to consider nxt year when the review date comes round.

My overall total debt was £159.911.65 at the end of last month. (It was £161983.77 at the beginning of the year before my LBM!) My home is worth £175K in the current climate. At present with things as they are, my snowball plan tells me it will take 66 months, 5 and a half years to be debt free re credit card debt (which currently totals £33,366.25) based on the monies I have avail to pay them off now. My plan is to be earning more to pay them off, but its 66 months based on the current figures and facts. So in other words Im following the worst case scenario plan.After that, my plan was to throw all the monies I used to repay my CC debt to the mortgage or the secured debt depending on which had the highest interest rate at that time and then be completely free of mortgage, secured loan and credit cards within say 7/8 years. Of course, once the credit card debt is sorted, I can re-evaluate based on situation then as to the exact period of time it would take to repay the mortgage and secured loan.

I intend to stick with the companies I owe money to rather than try and switch to lower deals. I just can not face doing any of that. Todays situation made me realise that once more, it just totally takes it out of me. Facing the reality of my situation, the reasons why I am in this situation, and the long haul ahead.I also dont want to risk the possibility of being turned down which I have been before. One of my amounts owing is with MBNA who out of the blue decided to up my interest. I wrote to them outlining my situation - how I acquired the debt, my husband situation, my disability, my falling over, not wishing to be a victim but simply stating the facts of my situation, and they simply wouldn't budge, basically told me that the rate was as it was and that was it. I can not put myself through that process again to be rejected again and again. It really upsets me to have to lay facts down that ar v distressing anyway, and I can not do it. That said, I have been advised that they are required to showleniency re disability in line with the Disability Discrimination Act, for eg I have accrued charges from the bank because I couldn't get to the bank to pay in monies because I had fallen over and was bed ridden, and they still would not refund me when I contacted them. There is simply no understanding whatsoever. I was going to be writing to the Halifax re my bank charges this weekend, and I realise I need to leave it till I feel more able to do it. Writing it all down again the reasons why I am asking for a bit of leeway is just simply too upsetting and if its one thing I need to do it is to keep myself positive otherwise everything falls down around me, my walking gets worse, my risk of falling over is higher, I get panic attacks - I was epileptic in my early life and still take medication for it - and I simply get v tired. All the things I need to keep away from.

I will leave it there for tonite and start to focus on preparing for the week, doing supper and getting DD to bed and have an early night, praying for a good outcome when I visit the bank tomorrow. Thanks Km for your post.