Today is a new day!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, Im feeling a bit low today and trying to feel positive. Found out through a dear acquaintance of an organisation called the National Victims Organisation who are there to support individuals like myself who have dealt with my DH situation ( sorry but cant bring myself to type the M word!) It will be 6 years ago in November, and no one had told me about them before now, no one. Why not I ask myself? Having to deal with what happened just makes me wonder if I will ever get over it, how that situation has culminated in much of the debt I find myself in now, how my disability makes my situation a very vulnerable one in truth, how alone I feel without my DH, and dealing with the aftermath of everything.. Am I mad to think I can work, build my business, pay off my debt, be a great mum to my DD and succeed as a person I ask myself? I will do it, I can not give up now, I dont want to give up now, just feel like the obstacles in the way are big ones thats all, doesn't mean I wont overcome them. I have to . I need to.

Well, we are v blessed , and we will be ok. I feel v strong and able to write to the bank re my charges, and MBNA re my interest rate. Im going to write those letters this eve before the brave part of me fades!

We have another picnic later, going to the beach this afternoon, hopefully meeting a friend, and have a break from dwelling on things too much.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Feeling much more positive. Have written my letters to MBNA and the Halifax, the former re my interest rate, the latter re my bank charges. I am pretty good letter writing so feel I have got my points accross concisely and coherently. Being proactive certainly makes me feel better about things.

My DD is on a sleep over so Im at home alone. Its been good to have the space to just be quiet in myself, and Im going to make a cuppa, and get to bed. Looking forward to my spin class in the am. 9am it is, then collect my DD. Weather forecast is good for tom so may get into the garden, aswell as getting ready for the week.

Different_Corner

PAF
Recognising those low moments, have to becareful with them don't we ? Easy to let them escalate. May have said this before, I don't think you ever 'get over it', just learn to live with it.

Hope you had a relaxing evening, enjoy your day

scrooge2008

Hi there,

I second KM's posts. I posted on the mortgage board and following some suggestions there, changed to interest only payments, after having always believed that repayment was the best option. It was half way through a fixed rate deal and it cost me £50.00 to change. I have saved a lot of money. It can get a bit complicated, but there are some whizz kids on that board. There is no stigma in being on interest only. You can always switch back at a later date.

You could then throw the difference at the MBNA debt, and you might make a substantial difference to your debt free date. It's just an extension of the snowballing principle. Tackle debts with the highest interest rate first.

All the best

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Hi Different Corner and Scrooge

Thank you both for your wise words. I am a lot better today, feeling such on a high this am, went to the Spin Class, its just doing something positive, unable to follow it to the letter for a start unable to cycle with my bum off the seat but that didn't matter. I basically did my own thing and loved the music we were exercising to. Will make a point of going twice a week, my friend will look after dd for me to go one of those times, and the other I can go to while dd at school, when she goes back of course. Am returning the favour for my friend too so she can go to some classes. Really excited about it all Had a refreshing shower afterwards and went to collect my dd, Have had a lovely day since pottering in the garden, done the ironing, just about to do some paperwork, have had a lovely roast dinner, and we are going out in an hour to pick up my friend and her DD to go to the beach and watch some fireworks going off at the end of the pier.

Have had a browse on the mortgage website. I take the advice on board re interest only, and am thinking about that. Need to find out exactly how much I would save, and get my head around it. At least the situation Im in is not the worst case scenario, changes can still be made to free up money to repay the debt.

Those letters are off in the post tom, and thats been a huge step for me. Will tackle the mortgage next and make enquiries, see exactly how much I would save and so on.

Take care x

scrooge2008

Hope this proves to be a good week and you hit your targets.

Well done on taking care of your own needs too, and joining those classes.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Yes, it's been a busy week. Sales are good, haven't totalled them yet but I will most certainly exceed £1K this week all being well with my pickup tomorrow.

Finiances, just taking day to day at the mo. Re mortgage, I am feeling uneasy about interest only from the point of view that my extortionate life cover is to cover my mortgage as it decreases over the set term. I would need to be brave enough to call them and enquire whether by effectively extending the term, I am likely to lose the benefits of the policy or have to pay an increased premium. I have decided to take one thing at a time and leave my mortgage as it is for now. Ive just written to the Halifax and MBNA and will wait for the outcome there before I tackle another project. It may sound pathetic but dealing with such things on top of working and keeping up with giving Dd a nice summer school hols takes it out of me. My heart beats in my throat and it is horrible feeling that way. So, will keep it as it is for the mo, and face it when Im ready. Similarly, Im waiting to update just one more debt repayment for this month, and then I will detail my total debts in my signature, and will then update them every month until they are gone forever!. Have a good day everyone. We - DD and I - are working this afternoon, bit she has a friend round at the mo. I need to do some bus calls now and still get dressed!!

Keeping_Motivated

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED wrote: »

Finiances, just taking day to day at the mo. Re mortgage, I am feeling uneasy about interest only from the point of view that my extortionate life cover is to cover my mortgage as it decreases over the set term. I would need to be brave enough to call them and enquire whether by effectively extending the term, I am likely to lose the benefits of the policy or have to pay an increased premium. I have decided to take one thing at a time and leave my mortgage as it is for now.

Makes sense, you do what is best for you. The point is you have explored the option and are aware of it and then after that the decision is yours.

Sounds like you are getting stronger if you are thinking of gathering everything up and putting it in your signature because I know that felt like a big step to you.

Hope you've had a good day.

scrooge2008

You don't sound pathetic at all. School holidays for working mum's are always a juggling act! but you sound like you are balancing things really well.

So pleased you are keeping up the momentum with your sales. August can be a tough month for targets.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, have taken the plunge and detailed in my signature my total debt to this world. The positives from it are the following:

1. Since my DH situation despite everything that transpired, bringing up DD on my own, falling over etc etc I HAVE reduced my secured debt inc mortgage by £22851.09!!
1a. My home and its contents are worth more than I owe which is at least something!
2. Between now and Xmas I intend to capitalise on Xmas with my retailing in my business and building my team. I know from last year that my income can increase by half if I remain positive, focused and proactive.
3. My team IS growing with more people set to join it over the next week, my hard work IS paying off.
4. I am not in arrears with anyone, everyone I owe money to is paid up to date.
5. My debt free date for my CC debt is end of 2015 based on what I am earning at the moment. I want to beat this and pay it all back by the end of 2014, 2013 would be even more lovely.

Plan of attack:

1. For the moment not to change anything more than the two recent letters I have written, just follow my snowball plan.
2. Over the next 4 months put excess money towards the debt.
3. Pay my tax bill by end of year as opposed to next January, get it out of the way.
4. Maintain my spending diary.
5. Take a day at a time.
6. Focus on my dd and my business goals. Both are my/ our future.
7. Attend spin class - for me - twice a week, start to feel good about me once more.
8. Know I am doing my best, and I WILL succeed in getting out of this hole.
9. Know I am very blessed, and I am so lucky to have a beautiful dd and have work that I love doing and a lovely little home that dd and I are v content in.
10. Look forward more, work on my self development as a person.

I am on a mission!