Today is a new day!

hypno06

That list makes excellent reading.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, lets start with the positive:

Total personal sales this week are £1168.45 so exceeded my £1K target.

Not so positive:

My DD is not at the Holiday Club today as she was ill yesterday and in the eve. Annoyed that I have paid for today and will not be able to get my money back.
Will need to work from home, and defer all my other out and about stuff till tomorrow which means we wont have the entire weekend off. Have told my DD that she will just have to sit in the back of the car tom, and rest. I do not want to hear, How many more mummy? My mum is babysitting tonite while I do some deliveries so thats something, and I think we will just have to bumble our way through. Neither myself or dd are hardly ill ever so this sort of situation is so rare, when it comes along, its a thing to work around it. We will get there.

Also, mortgage is due on 28th and need to work out where Im at with meeting the payt. One week to get the funds together. Im over half way there I do believe, and my commission should make the shortfall. Oh how I hate this panic that is underlying everything. I would have more than enough to live with what Im earning etc, its just its all swamped up in making payts to "tom, !!!!!! and harry", and I just want to fastforward to 5 years time when this situation will be over.
Calm, calm, calm!!

We will be ok! Believe, Believe, believe !

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Its amazing what an hour or so of sorting out can do. I am confident all will be well over the next 2 weeks with impending bills , the mortgage etc etc.

Its amazing to think that in 2 weeks DD will be back at school.

So, have reviewed my short term goals from now until end of the year:

Business targets:
Target sales over the next 2 weeks, each week £1200.00.
Target sales there after till Christmas £1500 per week min.
Building my team target: 1 new person every other week min

Financial targets:

To get my cc debt down to £30K by end of year. That would be just wow!
Pay my tax bill by end of year.

Personal targets:

Have quality time with dd at the weekends starting from this one, although we will be working tom, Sunday will be a lovely day.
Get to bed before falling asleep in the chair!
Spin class twice a week.
Be prepared for Xmas - all present shopping - done by end of Nov.
Get sorted on ebay - sis coming to assist me this week.

Thats it for the mo. Fell happier its detailed for the record! Better get on while dd asleep. Busy building our business and our future.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well. dd and I worked yesterday afternoon, then had an invite to take dd rock pooling with a friend and her dd. Had fish and chips on thebeach, oh they wre the best Ive ever tasted! Really lovely eve. We may just go rock pooling later as its such a lovely day already. Will be mowing the garden and getting prepared for my family to descend on us on Weds for the day. We are really looking forward to it. Money and all that is ok to get us through the next couple of weeks.

Have found out more about the National Victims Association. What an amazingly brave charity. I think they will be able to offer support in areas that are much needed - what to say to dd as she get older and as she asks the q now such as the one yesterday. Is daddy alone where he is? Is he happy as an angel? How did he exactly die?

We are not alone thats for sure dealing with this situation, and I think we certainly have a guardian angel looking over me and dd, to still be hanging in here paying the debt slowly but surely, to have a beautiful dd, to still be in our lttle home, to enjoy my business and be making headway there in these uncertain times, to be able to have this possible support, to even when I fall not break anything, its all quite amazing when I think about it. So, doing this diary has been quite a thing and I feel more confident about our future. Just need to bottle this confidence and keep it for the rainy days!!! Off to do our brekkie and enjoy the day.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Well, had such a lovely day yesterday. Such beautiful weather. Spent in the garden in the day doing odd jobs. DD and I harvested our veg we've been growing this year in tubs, painted the shed together, mowed the garden, cut back some foliage, had a nice roast , and then we had a lovely time down at the beach, dd went rock pooling with her little friends, I enjoyed the peace on the beach with my friends, no breeze at all, just a lovely restful stillness in the air, just so beautiful.

Slept well, and today have a v busy day working catching up etc after last week my dd being unwell on friday.

So, on that note, need to live up to my name and focus on the tasks in hand!

hypno06

Yesterday sounds lovely, and I am glad DD is better.

I hope you have a good week x

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

This week is going well on the whole so far. Had my family over yesterday for the day. My dd was beside herself with excitement at the thought of seeing her cousins, one of whom is the same age. She had a lovely day, we all did, was totally worn out by the end of it in a nice contented way! That is the beauty of being s/employed, I can plan my week to my requirements, and work around the opportunities that come up and plans. On the subject of business, my sales are going to be well over £1K, my target is £1200. I think I am v near to that, need to check when I place my order, but so many people today DIDN'T have invisible ink!! Just about to sort them out with a cuppa!

I am behind with my business calls but thats ok. Plan to catch up tom while dd at the holiday club, do some catalogues if time allows, do some deliveries of goods, and then anything left over can be done with dd on sat afternoon. Sun and Mon will be days off and we are due to go out with mum and dad on sun, and a friend on mon so if we need to work on sat to get what I need to get done, done, then sobeit, it won't be the end of the world. I am truely commited to making it happen in terms of my goals and dreams.

Finally, my mortgage and life cover are due out tom, and im glad to say the money is there, and its not been so tight as last month. Although, I would still like it to be more easy, that is not having to pay monies in the day before, that sort of thing.

Little steps of progress, but we are getting there. I can certainly look in the mirror and know that I am doing my best, and things WILL GET better. I want to treasure, and be grateful for every day, and learn from this experience, focus on my business and of course my dd, and build on what we have achieved and what I intend to achieve as a person, as a business woman, and as a debt buster for me and for my dd!

Yes, on that note I will stay forever postive and focused!

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Feeling totally guilty. Had a huge go at my dd this am. She will simply not always clean her teeth or get dressed when I ask/tell her to numerous times, and in the end I just feel like Im going mad. The mornings are not the best time for me. When I was in my teens I became epileptic - all linked to my disability situation, and they always happened in the morning. Whilst Ive been free of epilepsy for several years, the mornings are still not so good for me. I need to take things steadily, I have suffered panic attacks on several occasions, and just breath my way through them to get on with the day. Nevertheless, despite talking to my dd why mummy wants her to do as shes told, mornings like this morning happen every so often. I wasn't concentrating while telling her to behave, and I duly fell over in the bathroom, luckily broke my fall with my good arm so saved myself more injury than occured. Planning to work from home for the next 3/4 hours anyway which is a godsend. Do this entry, make a cup of tea and a snack and get back to my work, building the future.

Anyway, dd and I made up when I got her to the holiday club eventually but I feel screwed up at the mo and as I say so guilty. I love her so much, this wasn't in the plan, I reacted too strongly, and have only myself to blame for feeling done in. She knows I love her, we are ok, there aren't many children who are as tolerant as she is when shes with me with work, and she always wants to help me get dressed and things, she always wants to make mnme feel better when we cry about her daddy. Oh I wont go on, Ill start crying again!!! You have to laugh!

So, decided to update my diary with some positive things to help me get back in a focused state of mind.

1. Have joined the Long Haulers DFW and Im no 175.
2. Recd a letter from MBNA to say my complaint re my interest rates has been recd and they will reply to me by the 14th Sept, so we will wait and see.
3. Have paid my mortgage.
4. Will be able to cover o/goings over the next two weeks, even payments due on the 9th when my work payment in is due on the 10th - sods law but it should all be ok!
5. Reminding myself that we are on the verge of the kids going back to school and therefore a more structured week will be possible which has to be good from every perspective. Also, Xmas is pending and that means a greater number of sales for me and my team if we stay focused with our business plans, and that in turn will mean higher income and the ability to pay the debt off quicker. Oh thank you god for this business.
6. Its a BH weekend. We will be working tom afternoon, but have a lovely two days on sun and mon to look forward to, my dd and I.
And I love my dd with my whole entire being, don't want a repeat of this am!

scrooge2008

I can relate to how you feel about your daughter. I adore my son and beat myself up if I shout at him, which is rare, but it does happen.

It's just one of those things. We're not perfect, and they understand.

I'm so pleased that things are continuing to go in the right direction xx.

Different_Corner

Scrooge, love your sig !
PAF, I totally understand the getting dressed battles. Mine are based around the shower theme, dirty washing on bedroom floor, do they know where the dishwasher is etc etc. May aswell talk Chinese sometimes. To be honest I know they are completely normal teenage boys, I would just appreciate a little more help.

Like others I love having them home, but this lone parenting thing is hard work.