Asking for money as our gift??

Poppy9

cleomolly wrote: »

I said you were making quite an assumption in saying the comment -

"but how can you book one for staright after the wedding if you don't know how much?"

I was simply suggesting that of course it would be possible to wait until after the wedding to plan a Honeymoon, regardless whether it be camping the UK or abroad. Lots of couples don't book Honeymoon's until after their wedding in order to get a late deal, being a little cheaper, which you should be awear of being "MSE" person!!!

I did a late deal for my honeymoon but I booked mine with my own money two weeks before the wedding (blooming bargain it was too, just £230 for 11 nights 4* in Majorca in 1986). I also know from experience that holiday prices don't always drop at last minute and often rise in price. My current August holiday which I booked a while ago is currently £250 more expensive than when I booked. Low cost airline fares also rise nearer to departure date usually.

cleomolly wrote:

If you can not comment with an opinion without getting personal I suggest you don't comment at all.

Where have I been personal?

cleomolly wrote:

You know nothing of my reason's for waiting until after the wedding to book the Honeymoon,

You said in your initial post that you hadn't booked a honeymoon because you couldn't afford it and hence were considering asking your guests to pay:

cleomolly wrote:

We have everything we could want in the house and no money left after the wedding for a honeymoon so it makes sense,

Posters can only respond based on what you tell them.

I thought you were only wanting to go camping based on:

cleomolly wrote:

as yellowbuy says, we're going camping!

cleomolly wrote:

but as you have got personal, it's is because I don't know what my health will be like at that time, I can not predict and if I am too ill to fly then a camping trip it will be, However if I am well, yes I want the blue seas, and the sandy shores.

I really don't see the point of this as I never got personal and don't see what your health has to do with it. It's about as relevant as me talking of my health issues on this thread as this thread was about asking guests to pay for a honeymoon.

You are obviously upset because some people have not agreed with your proposal but when you ask for opinions it's the nature of the beast you will get responses that differ to your own. It's happened to me and to most other posters and I have revaluated my stances sometimes based on other people's opinions (but sometimes I've decided to stick to my own POV). It's one of the things I love about this forum that you get the chance to hear opinions from a much wider circle than your normal family and friends and people feel free to say things that perhaps they wouldn't say to your face for fear of upsetting or offending you.

Poppy9

Yellowbug wrote: »

thats very unfair

I have sat and read this thread as it has gone on and to be honest there are a lot of personal comments against the op

I haven't seen personal comments against the OP.

My interpretation of being personal would be to call the OP greedy but don't see that anyone has done so. People have offered up their opinions of how they feel if they get such a request and how they would/have done things.

Yet the OP has implied that those that differ to her opinion are cave dwellers. That is being personal but most have had the good grace to let that go.

Yellowbug

there are a few posts that if I was her, I would have taken as being quite personal imho

cleomolly

sorry but I can't even be bothered to read your post. Call me ignorant, arogant, what the hell you would like. This has gone too far and I can't be bothered after a long week at work to argue with you, the wine's on chill and I'm gona do the same. I'll be the bigger person and say 'Sorry' to offend you. thanks for your comments and I appreciate your views, you alone have totally changed my decision to enclose a poem. Sorry and Thanks again

maggie111

Poppy, I'm with you lady!

aimee21j

Yellowbug wrote: »

I think this thread has been interesting, the way some people put their point across really does shock me (you dont have to be mean and personal about things to explain your personal opinion)

You don't want to venture in to discussion time then! I think this thread has been discussed nicely without argument to be honest.

I am in the 'not asking for anything' camp. My invites were sent out recently and I have had only one phone call asking us what we want. I replied ' nothing' so my auntie insisted that we must have something. I said it was her choice and we would be grateful for anything she chooses although we really didn't expect anything.

sexki11en

lilian1977 wrote: »

Hi Cleo

I am putting the following on my weddingpath site, I hope it helps:

We have been living together for a while so we're hoping that people won't feel obliged to buy us the obligatory toasters etc.

There is nothing we really need, however some of you have already asked what we would like as a gift so we have provided details of a small gift list below. If nothing there takes your fancy and you'd still like to offer a gift, then Travellers Cheques for our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated.

Please do not feel obliged to choose either of the above options. We know most of you will have to travel a fair few miles to be with us and so your presence is preferred above your presents!

Lots of love and see you soon!

Good luck whatever you decide! xx

Lilian - that's brilliant! I hope you don't mind but i've nicked that for our website! It's worded so much better than we had already!

SK x

lilian1977

No problem, glad it helped someone! x

minerva_windsong

I agree with Yellowbug.

I am however going to say something against the traditional gift list - if you are Skinty McSkint they are quite often more trouble than they are worth. I was 17 and 21 when my older sisters got married, and couldn't have afforded anything off their gift lists. The first time I gave my sister £20 of John Lewis vouchers, and the second time I went to a ceramic painting place in York and made my sister and her husband a mug each with their names and the date of the wedding and various little pictures on, which cost about £20. Neither of them expected me to get them anything, and that was true of everyone who came to their weddings.

I highly doubt anyone here would dare to get married just to get presents, but people will want to get you things, and unpleasant as it is if you don't say what you want a lot of people will give cash or vouchers because they will want to get you something. It's like birthdays - I asked for two relatively inexpensive things for my 21st and ended up with jewellery, money and champagne amongst other things. I never asked for or expected any of that stuff, even the things I asked for (I was brought up under the impression that making and handing over a present list at birthdays/Christmas guaranteed you nothing on the list, it was a merely a selection of things you would like to receive and what you got was determined by what people wanted to give whether it was on there or not), but that's what my family got me because they wanted to give me something, and I'm very grateful to them for being so generous.

The principle is exactly the same here. The wedding list is probably the only time when all the presents you get are meant to be practical in some shape or form, as opposed to largely frivolous. But if you've got all the practical things you need, then why shouldn't you have something that may seem a bit frivolous but will provide you with lots of wonderful memories? Better a gift you'll enjoy than no gift at all, and no one is obliged to bring a gift - if it was me I'd rather have no honeymoon and the people I loved with me, than a no-holds-barred swanky honeymoon but the people I cared about not coming to my wedding because they thought they had to give me a present.

Cleomolly, it's your day, you know your friends and family, do what you so choose.

Tesco_points_addict

Poppy9 wrote: »

Discussed to death on this thread.

Next we will have guests being asked to contribute to the cost of their meal at the reception!:rolleyes:

Thats a great idea! I always thought wedding were very expensive! If everyone paid for there own it would be much better!

FWIW I think your poem is lovely, I really don't see how people could take offence.

TPA