Asking for money as our gift??

cleomolly

So ladies, I'd love to know what you think about this. So far some of my friends have said it's a great idea and others have said you can't do that! so I'm in 2 minds what to do.

We've been living together for years and will have been together 9 years when we wed, so we've come up with a poem to put into our invites politey stating that we don't want any gifts but if you were we'd prefer money to have a honeymoon! We have everything we could want in the house and no money left after the wedding for a honeymoon so it makes sense, but i wouldn't want to offend anyone. We dont see it as a chance to get lots of nice new things like a china set becuase we plan to emigrate in a few years! so what to think, honestly please..........

Errata

Honestly ? I think people who ask for money from guests they invite to their wedding are discourteous.

xJayJayx

there's nothing wrong with asking for money. You need to sort of include in your poem why you are asking for it and that if they don't give you money it doesn't matter its their company and presence at your wedding that is important.

picklepick

Lots of people ask for the money these days, personally i dont think theres anything wrong with it. Errata, if you'd rather give a gift then noones forcing you to give the cash instead, its just id rather have money to spend on something i like than some 'bed sheets' i dont need.

Nothing wrong with it im my opinion!

Rainbowchild

Of all the wedding's we have been to over the last few years I must say I perfered the ones that asked for vouchers - one friend asked for travel agents vouchers towards their honeymoon (taken a while after the wedding). One of our best friends (DH was the best man) had a gift list and even the smallest present was out of our price range. Also I think it helps the way you ask and think a little poem is a great idea.

Chrisv

I've just received an invite to nephew's wedding, inside invite is a little card -

If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift,
feel free to surprise us in your own way.

Personally I think a gift should be what the recipient wants to receive rather than what I wish to give, so I'm more than happy to give them cash.

IWantToBeFree_2

Don't do it, poems asking for cash are awfully tacky.

If you insist on asking for cash, do it by word of mouth to those who accept your invites, don't just send it out with them, could put people off coming.

Yellowbug

Me and my other half have been together for 7 years, and we have owned a house for over a year now, so a bit like you we dont need any of the traditional wedding gifts.
So we are also planning on asking for money from our guests instead of presents, I dont want people to think we expect the money, but if they want to give us something I would rather it was money so we can put it towards something we need rather than ending up with loads of gifts that we dont want, and will end up just taking up space
I like the idea of writing a poem to explain it to our guests, I think I will start writing and see what I can come up with

cleomolly

Thank you all. it's lovely to hear all your thoughts, no matter what they are, this is what I wanted. The thing is if we f=don't ask for anything, people will call us and say 'what do you want' and as above we have lived together for a while and when we emigrate, we'll have to get rid of a lot of our stuff anyhow, so I doubt guests wold be happy to see their crystal glass's, or pots and pans on ebay. I also beleive that I shouldn't make anyone feel uncomfortable, or that they have to give more than they can afford, so the idea was to have a wishing well where people can deposit their gift annonomously (terrible speller i know!)

the poem itself is -

the thing that we would love best
is if you were to come to our weeding as our guest

but if a gift is your intention
could we take this time to mention

for a while now we've lived in sin
we have a kettle, a toaster, and even a bin

our house is full of all the things a couple could require
so a honeymoon is what we most desire

then while we're relaxing on the beach, or by the pool so blue
we'll be able to sit back and think, it's truely thanks to you

so please don't think we're being funny
if we say 'could we just have the money' ?

I realise i need to add a line saying something about you dont need to bring a gift at all. What do you think? Thanks again x

cleomolly

Yellowbug wrote: »

Me and my other half have been together for 7 years, and we have owned a house for over a year now, so a bit like you we dont need any of the traditional wedding gifts.
So we are also planning on asking for money from our guests instead of presents, I dont want people to think we expect the money, but if they want to give us something I would rather it was money so we can put it towards something we need rather than ending up with loads of gifts that we dont want, and will end up just taking up space
I like the idea of writing a poem to explain it to our guests, I think I will start writing and see what I can come up with

let me know if you have any luck, I might steal a line or 2

Yellowbug

cleomolly wrote: »

let me know if you have any luck, I might steal a line or 2

I think I might use yours as a starting point, I love it

Its funny, and sweet and gets your point across without making people feel funny about it ...well done

My dad is very good at silly poems, so I think I will get him on the case too....Ill let you know if I come up with something good