Asked to babysit every Saturday

pelirocco

emlou2009 wrote: »

the child will be asleep during her working hours

Hardly , there will be time either side ...........tho the issue isnt with the child being awake , or even with the child , the Op is entitled to some time to her self , you have said you have just had a child , come back to this thread in 15/ 20 years time , i will gaurentee you will see things differently

Claire3121

Bettyboop wrote: »

She will also be with Chipdog all of Sunday though so the mother can sleep

So the daughter is expecting her mum to give up her weekends to babysit indefinately? I'd tell her where to go quite frankly.:rolleyes:

bestpud

pelirocco wrote: »

Hardly , there will be time either side ...........tho the issue isnt with the child being awake , or even with the child , the Op is entitled to some time to her self , you have said you have just had a child , come back to this thread in 15/ 20 years time , i will gaurentee you will see things differently

I thought that too! Mine haven't all grown up yet, but you do see the relationship differently as they grow up I think. None the less loving or supportive, but priorities change for you, and them; it's like a different mind set from when they were tiny.

Caroline73_2

emlou2009 wrote: »

what reason do you have to think that she thinks it will be like a night out and will come home with whoever she wants? has she actually said this to you? remembering that part of her job will most likely be to do a spot of cleaning once the club is closed and before she leaves.

it seems to me from your posts like the issue to you is less that you will be having a child sleep in your house once a week and more that its her causing you the inconvenience? has she done something to you in the past that you havent quite forgiven her for yet? you mentioned a drug problem in the past, i wonder if she had never had this and was working a normal 9-5 job, and had to work saturdays and asked your OH to look after her LO in the day would it be such an issue?

theres no wonder your OP said your thoughts on the situation would be causing arguments in your house between you and your OH. reading back over your posts in this thread you havent said one nice word about the girl...

how about looking at the positives, that she is a mum earning money to provide for her child i wouldnt wish the job of a single mum on anyone, as a new mum i dont know how i would ever cope on my own and i really hope that it doesnt ever come to that.

When I was a single mum my mum and step dad had my little boy overnight so I could go to work. I was a nurse though so much more respectable than working in a night club :rolleyes:

I do wonder if the OP's daughter had a job in a different area whether that would be more acceptable to the other posters.

BallandChain

It hasn't anything to do with the type of job she is doing but it's to do with the fact the young mother already has a history of drug use (not good if she works in a night club) and the fact her daughter is being pushed from pillar to post, not once but three nights on the trot. The girl already has a job that fits around school times and her story keeps changing!

MrsBartolozzi

I think that the fact the mother has applied for, gone for an interview and accepted this job without first securing adequate childcare provision speaks volumes.
It is likely that had she asked prospective babysitters before going for the job, if they would look after her daughter she'd have realised there was little chance of the permanent childcare solution she desires. Seems to me she realised this and went ahead anyway on the premise that people would find it harder to say no when saying no means she'd lose the job.

fernliebee

Someone already mentioned it but are you sure she isn't dancing or stripping, as she seems really intent on taking the job so surely the money must be better than 3 eve bar work on min wage?

jellyhead

Caroline73 wrote: »

I do wonder if the OP's daughter had a job in a different area whether that would be more acceptable to the other posters.

Probably, because the nightclubs are a weekend sort of thing whereas nursing or supermarket work could be a mix, or midweek.

When I first read the OP I assumed the child was preschool and was going to post that this situation wouldn't be workable once the child started school. It's not just nightclub work - the mum isn't going to wake before lunchtime at the earliest. I worked in a nightclub for years while at college and uni (but contrary to what others have said it did NOT make me more likely to use drugs - in fact I was teetotal and never used drugs, being tied to working every weekend, every new years eve etc. means you don't have that kind of social life. I was the straight laced one at uni while everyone else used drugs at the weekend).

The mum will start work at 8-ish so will need to get ready, so she'll probably be dropping the girl off at teatime. This doesn't leave much time at weekends for mum to spend with the little girl

jellyhead

chipsdog wrote: »

WOW - thanks for your replies

She already has a job that fits in a around school time, but, she is going to give that one up.

Thursday night - she is asking a friend
Friday night - grandparents (her Mum)
Saturday - ??? me not asked yet

I don't get on very well with SD (as you may have guessed) she doesn't tell the truth, I also don't think a Nightclub is the right place to work with a child and a drug problem in the past, I think she thinks its a night out.

I may seem a bit heartless, but, I don't want my Saturday nights looking after someone elses child, I have done my bit.

She says she doesn't get any help paying the rent or council tax, I have no idea what she can claim so don't know if she is telling the truth or not

I suspect that she is either lying or is misinformed about the benefits situation - check on entitledto as has been suggested. Does she live alone or with a boyfriend?

If this is the only job she can find, I suppose she has at least organised it so as to disrupt her daughter the least, assuming that the friend will be taking her daughter to school on friday and then the other granny who has her friday night is local.

My sister used to work nights - it suited her because she had a husband at home to babysit, and then she could get 6 hours sleep during the day while her children were at school, with holiday club at the local childcare facility in school holidays (and I helped, as did my parents, when needed, for example she would drop her kids off at my house at 8am, then she could go to bed earlier than she would if she was taking them to school herself, and I could walk them down to school with my own, and I could have them on a school training day when the childcare facility wasn't open for holiday club).

I appreciate that a job is a job, but your stepdaughter would have more quality time at weekends with her daughter if she could get a midweek job and sleep while her daughter is in school, rather than sleeping at weekends. Has she tried asda, tesco etc? The ones that are open 24 hours need a till assistant all night, and lots of shelf stackers.

bestpud

jellyhead wrote: »

I worked in a nightclub for years while at college and uni (but contrary to what others have said it did NOT make me more likely to use drugs - in fact I was teetotal and never used drugs, being tied to working every weekend, every new years eve etc. means you don't have that kind of social life. I was the straight laced one at uni while everyone else used drugs at the weekend).

The point was raised because she has had a problem with drugs in the past.

A lot is down to personality I think.

I would never drink or take drugs, wherever I worked, but some people would and this woman's past suggests she is at higher risk than many of drinking or taking drugs before/while/after working.