Asked to babysit every Saturday

Eagle_1

chipsdog wrote: »

OH would have to drive round trip of 40 miles to collect and then another 40 to drop off the next day.

well ya plonker, if you'd have said this at the beginning and that she had drug problem etc I would have said tell her no way hoseyyyyy

I think expecting a 40 mile each way trip is taking the biscuit

Pee

40 miles is a long way.

It is up to your OH, though. If he would like to babysit, then that is up to him and up to you what you arrange for those nights. Would you find it easier if it was very other Saturday night?

I don't think it will be a problem with her having had a drugs problem and working in the nightclub, if she was tempted the management would get rid of her pretty quickly, due to the penalties on them.

I think it is comendable when parents are able to help their children with childcare, although it cannot be expected. the relationship between children and their grandparents is very precious.

FairyElephant_2

40 miles!!!!! It gets worse and worse. This girl is really taking the mick!

Maybe if you feel like keeping the peace with your OH, make a counter-offer (this is what I do to 'manage' the situaation with my DH & his kids sometimes, if I don't like what is being asked of us, I suggest a 'compromise' - on my terms!!!!!).

In this case, maybe you say 'well, we can just about do every-other-Saturday (still giving you time for yourselves) as we already have lots of things planned, but we can't afford the petrol both ways, so either you'll have to pay for that (in advance of course!) or we will come and stay at your place for the night and you can leave us a nice dinner to eat', (and/or DVD to watch, bottle of wine, whatever you would prefer).

If she really wants the help, make it on YOUR terms and get the rules set out well in advance!

amersall

dont do it!! i know its a grandchild, but my sister asked me when my neice was 4 if i could watch her two days a week, school run etc i said no problem , then it became weekends and the odd night, basically i was used ,this went on for 2 years, i finally told her to get lost, it caused a huge row and we did not speak for 10 months, so please stick to your guns. dont be used

ChrisCobra

chipsdog wrote: »

WOW - thanks for your replies

She already has a job that fits in a around school time, but, she is going to give that one up.

Thursday night - she is asking a friend
Friday night - grandparents (her Mum)
Saturday - ??? me not asked yet

I don't get on very well with SD (as you may have guessed) she doesn't tell the truth, I also don't think a Nightclub is the right place to work with a child and a drug problem in the past, I think she thinks its a night out.

I may seem a bit heartless, but, I don't want my Saturday nights looking after someone elses child, I have done my bit.

She says she doesn't get any help paying the rent or council tax, I have no idea what she can claim so don't know if she is telling the truth or not

Thought so , she expects other people to look after her child while she works in a nightclub , probably having a great time , but gives up a job which suits her perfectly between school hours.

Why do so many people want to have their cake and eat it , stick to your guns and talk to your OH about it again.

Then again you may not be asked , then theres no problem , just brace for the question and response.

freebiequennie

Hello

all though frustrating surely as any parent your OH has a responsiblity to his daughter and if he has her for the weekend or just a sat night there is nothing to stop the 2 of you booking a babysitter (obv checked and responsible) whilst you have a night out.

Penny-Pincher!!

She is taking the pi$$!!...sorry.

3 nights of FREE babysitting every week!...Well, if your all silly enough to say yes...then good luck to her:D

PP
xx

Triggles

all though frustrating surely as any parent your OH has a responsiblity to his daughter and if he has her for the weekend or just a sat night there is nothing to stop the 2 of you booking a babysitter (obv checked and responsible) whilst you have a night out.

He did fulfill his responsibilities - he raised her - having a responsibility towards your adult children does NOT equate to being their free childcare!! Especially when the adult child is leaving a perfectly adequate job with already arranged childcare to take an ill-advised job where she has not got reliable childcare readily available OR when she is expecting the grandparents to drive a 40mile round trip TWICE in 24 hours for pickup and drop off, again at no charge to the adult child. And the idea that the grandparents should then HIRE and PAY for someone ELSE to watch the child when they want a Saturday night out, when the adult child is paying them nothing, is ridiculous!

Pee

Some grandparents would be pleased to have their grandchild for a Saturday night, albeit the driving 40 miles to collect and take back does make a difference.

Is OH staying over at his daughter's an option? This would cut the mileage and presumably make life easier as she would have her toys there, plus you would not be disturbed.

It does seem unrealistic to sign up for EVERY Saturday night, as you are bound to want to make other plans sometimes.

Rikki

It's her child, her problem.

To give up a perfectly good job for three evenings work in a night club with her daughter going to three sets of people over night for three nights every week to me is bad parenting.

My Mum doesn't believe in having the grand children over to stay without the parents being there too. Her house, her life, her rules.

When I divorced I had two small children. No family near by. I had no social life, I dedicated my time to my children and only had of a day to do as I wished and a walk to the local for a drink was if the ex choose to see the children and have them stay over.

I couldn't just choose a job I fancied as I didn't have grandparents on hand to look after the children. If I did and had given up a perfectly good job, expecting them to take over the child care I know what the answer would have been.

An 80 mile drive every week. That would be over £60 a month in petrol in my car just on baby sitting.
That what it could cost you to babysit. You'd be better just sending her the money to pay for a baby sitter and for her to come home straight after work.