Asked to babysit every Saturday

liam8282

If she had any sense she would surely just look for a job with similar hours to what she is already on?

I think any single parent in that sort of position would find a job that fits around school times and her daughter, rather than her daughter and other people having to fit into her schedule.

chipsdog

WOW - thanks for your replies

She already has a job that fits in a around school time, but, she is going to give that one up.

Thursday night - she is asking a friend
Friday night - grandparents (her Mum)
Saturday - ??? me not asked yet

I don't get on very well with SD (as you may have guessed) she doesn't tell the truth, I also don't think a Nightclub is the right place to work with a child and a drug problem in the past, I think she thinks its a night out.

I may seem a bit heartless, but, I don't want my Saturday nights looking after someone elses child, I have done my bit.

She says she doesn't get any help paying the rent or council tax, I have no idea what she can claim so don't know if she is telling the truth or not

Any

chipsdog wrote: »

WOW - thanks for your replies

She already has a job that fits in a around school time, but, she is going to give that one up.

Thursday night - she is asking a friend
Friday night - grandparents (her Mum)
Saturday - ??? me not asked yet

I don't get on very well with SD (as you may have guessed) she doesn't tell the truth, I also don't think a Nightclub is the right place to work with a child and a drug problem in the past, I think she thinks its a night out.

I may seem a bit heartless, but, I don't want my Saturday nights looking after someone elses child, I have done my bit.

She says she doesn't get any help paying the rent or council tax, I have no idea what she can claim so don't know if she is telling the truth or not

And I think you are right OP.
I don't understand some of the posters - you work all your life, then you have children, bring them up and then you look after your grandchildren? How is some fun in your life supposed to fit in?
I think the situation would have been different if you were retired and was asked to look after your grandchild one day a week - taking into account that you might go on holiday.
I think that this way it's just selfish.

Triggles

chipsdog - it's not heartless, it's realistic. As I said, we did that at one point for DD, but we eventually began resenting being completely tied down on our weekends. I have to say, what's going to happen when her friend gets tired of being tied down one night a week? Is she going to come to you and ask for you to cover the other night? If she's working late, what time the next day is she going to take back the child, will it be a set time? Do you have to do all the picking up and dropping off?

Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable with that kind of line-up for my own childcare for a job - too many possible upheavals, and I wouldn't want to be putting my overnight in 3 different places 3 nights a week. But that's just me.

You said initially that she was possibly being made redundant on her other job, but just now stated she was going to give that one up?? I can see her needing to find another job if being made redundant, but not giving up one that has reliable childcare lined up for one that doesn't.

Bottom line is, you are not responsible for providing child care for your grandchild. She as the parent is responsible. Maybe she needs to explore her job and childcare options (as well as childcare assistance) a bit further and find a better solution.

Eagle_1

chipsdog wrote: »

I don't get on very well with SD (as you may have guessed)

Which is why I wanted to know is that if it were your Daughter/Son (not step) would you give the same response.

To be honest you need to speak to your hubby before he says yes because that could cause problems between you two. Its no good him saying yes and then your relationship suffer.

Zazen999

Perhaps the OH likes seeing his granddaughter?

I think the issues run deeper than just this, but does it get food on the table for the little one?

FairyElephant_2

chipsdog wrote: »

I may seem a bit heartless, but, I don't want my Saturday nights looking after someone elses child, I have done my bit.

I don't think you are being heartless at all OP! What if you & your OH want a night out, or a weekend away, or a holiday...or actually just to spend some quality time on your own together (IYSWIM) on the night of the week when you don't have to get up in the morning to go to work - and have a lie-in on a Sunday morning?

You do the best you can for your kids, then they are supposed to grow up, leave home, and have lives of their own. Hopefully you will be involved in them, and with your grandchildren, but it should not be to the exclusion of having your own lives. The occasional Sat evening babysitting is fine, but it sounds like your SD is taking advantage of your OH's kind heart.

TBH - and this may sound heartless! - I would let your OH know clearly that if HE agrees to this then you feel he is putting his daughter way above you, and that is not right - Unless you have young children still at home, partners should put each other first - after all you (presumably) want to spend the rest of your life together!

Hope you can get it sorted out without too much stress. My DH is also very soft with his kids, and it makes me mad sometimes when I find out what he has agreed to do for them, with very little in the way of thanks coming his way!

chipsdog

I'm not sure what is going on with the other job, she said that she wasn't going to leave as they had been good to her, but the Nightclub employee has said he would prefer her to work just for him. Like I said I only get half the story, and I'm not sure if that half is the truth. She told OH yesterday that they would shortly be laying her off, but, she probably said that because we told her not to take the Nightclub job.

OH would have to drive round trip of 40 miles to collect and then another 40 to drop off the next day.

I am on a mission to be going somewhere for the next 4 Saturdays then OH will be able to say we are going out

chipsdog

Eagle_1 wrote: »

Which is why I wanted to know is that if it were your Daughter/Son (not step) would you give the same response.

To be honest you need to speak to your hubby before he says yes because that could cause problems between you two. Its no good him saying yes and then your relationship suffer.

I don't know what I would do if it was my child, but, I would find it easier to tell them NO.

Triggles

Wait - 40 miles round trip to collect and drop off?? No way!!! That's ridiculous! The expense, the hassle - and if your DH is not feeling up to the drive, then you would be required to do it (presuming you drive, of course). And what if you have car troubles? I can't believe she is expecting this of you! As you hadn't mentioned this before, I guess I just thought she lived in the same town as you.

Sorry, but in that instance, I would tell her absolutely no.

It also sounds like she is giving conflicting info about her jobs, which may mean that she is being less than truthful.