MSE Pregnancy Club XIII

harley1

Helen - you're not going on. Sometimes it's nice to get another perspective, especially from people removed from the situation.

I'm afraid I can't help much more as my family are pretty close and I am more than happy to stand up and say what I think but I have friends who feel the same as you so I know how hard it is to take that first step.

I think that is why you have to take a stand now, don't wait for him to ask as it sounds like he won't. Ring him now to say that you are too tired, have to prepare for baby and have too much going on to accommodate his visit in July and that you would be more than happy to arrange a discounted hotel room for him at work. This also goes for October and that you will let him know when you will be receiving visitors but it is unlikely to be in the first week that you are home.

Take the bull by the horns and tell him what is going to happen. Don't give him the opportunity to ask if this or that can be done as that is what will suit him and not you.

It is really hard that first time, but afterwards you will feel so amazing for having been so strong in standing up to him. This is a special time for you and your family and it doesn't sound like he has the compassion to understand that so he needs it pointing out to him.

I have a rather strange neighbour - in fact several - who I am sure will be on the doorstep the minute I come home. I fully intend to stitch a little sign saying 'Mother and baby xxx exhausted - visiting by appointment only at this time.'

I think is is fairly blunt - but then that is exactly how I am - and no one can really argue if it is because I am tired. If the wierdo neighbour still knocks then I will have no qualms in telling him exactly how much he makes my skin crawl - a temptation I have so far resisted.

I hope this helps but feel free to post whatever you like, you will never be a pain, and someone a lot more tactful than me will no doubt be along to offer you another way of dealing with it if you are not comfortable using mine. Believe me, I won't be offended.

xxxxxx

harley1

See, Glam = Tactful

xxx

helen81_2

got-it-spend-it wrote: »

Helen- that is a really tough situation with your Dad. Maybe this is a good opportunity to make the break though and let him know that he needs to find somewhere else to stay when he's over. Do you have any siblings? Or does he? Maybe he could stay with them

I have a brother,he's in the RAF so always working,so he's as much good as a chocolate fireguard.He has own flat down south and my dad has been to stay with him ONE weekend and thats it. Even though he has his own place,my brother every now and then comes here,usually when my dad is on a 2week visit back here, stays here with my dad up in the attic!! I mean,honestly !!!!!!!!! I don't think he'll stay here anymore though as now he knows how Im feeling on the whole house sharing situation thing (I sent him a really long email on facebook a while back,told him how I feel) He won't talk to my dad about anything to do with all this, he doesn't want to upset him. Thats ok for him to say isn't it,just make an excuse and get out of it cos it isn't him that has to put up with everything.
My dad has loads of family,he's one of 5! They all live in Leeds and he does go to see his twin brother for a few days whilst he's back here and I can't understand why he feels he's better staying here with me,hubby and 2,soon to be 3 kids, getting in our way,disrupting our family life and routine when he could go stay a week or so with them and just visit us instead. When he comes back at the end of July Im going to have to ask to speak to him about whats gonna happen when babys due..think I'll say that I just need my own space, and just leave us be as a family to bond with the new addition..he could stay over in leeds (only 30mins away from here!) and just visit us.

aless02

Becster - to be honest, even though I spent the first 21 years of my life in the US, I can't remember!! I think it honestly depends on whether you intend to by baby stuff (I presume you mean primarily clothes) NEW or USED. If you're going to buy them used here anyway (like car boot sales, eBay bulk sets, etc.), then I really wouldn't bother with getting stuff in Wal-mart and then hauling it back home.

Generally when I get clothes & stuff in the US, it is a little cheaper but you have to balance the hassle of lugging it back home vs. money saved. If you have specific things/brands in mind that you can't get in the UK, then go for it. Otherwise, personally I wouldn't bother with something like baby clothes, which you'll only be using for a short time anyway!!

Becster

Sarah_Joanne wrote: »

Seems quiet tonight...

I'm just trying to watch everything I've got recorded on my sky+ so I don't lose it all when I move a week on Thursday!!


Sarah - Are you sure you are going to lose it anyway? We didn't when we moved. Mind you, Sky+ does have a mind of its own - I missed an episode of Lost last season cause the series link randomly didn't pick one up. Wasn't as if the series was confusing enough......!!:rotfl:

helen81_2

Glam- me and hubby bought the house from him and my mum when she was still alive, for a reduced rate. Had we bought it at full rate, or bought a totally different house with no connection to them whatsoever then I doubt I would have a problem telling him who's boss. Thats the biggest mistake we ever,and prob will ever make..tell everyone you know to NEVER get involved in anything like this with family..it just doesn't work. Wish someone had warned me before we sold our house to buy this one.
Im desperate for a way out. We can't sell the house with the housing market being as it is, so we can't buy somewhere else. I thought of renting another house, but we can't afford to pay rent, and then a mortgage on this house.

tiamai_d

Well Baptism was lovely yesterday, though went and stuffed my face with cake and sammiches and more cake... then got really dizzy and fell over But I was fine after a lie down Not even going to mention what my blood sugar levels were last night! But they are back to normal today.

Went to argos and got the car seat (mamas and papas primo viaggio) for £18 as we had £30 in vouchers DH picked it up and I went into boots to look for bargains. Got soem christmas stuff, if you love sanctuary they are doing a free gift when you spend £10, so I got 2 gift sets and the free gift. Also got some cute Miko cat stuff for a neices christmas hamper.

Hips started to hurt in boots, so not happy I had only walked about 500yards!!! Back, hips and foof is now really sore when I stand or walk and I've had to take co-codomol today. But not long to go!!!

Can't remember what else sorry, I know there was lots things I wanted to say to folk but I'm tired and can't remember.

Loads of BH still along with cramp, but they feel different, all the pain is down low like two hands squeezing at the bottom of my bump and over my section scar, is it just because of the section scar I wonder?

:j:j:jAlso, this is the furtherest I have gotten in any pregnancy without my BP being in the 180/100's!!!!! :j:j:j

I'm 33/3 and this is when DS2 was delivered due to the abruption so today is a bit strange for me. Happy that everything seems to be ok, but still scared. I keep looking at the clock and thinking about what I was doing. It was about this time that I gave up and went for a nap.

got-it-spend-it

Oh Helen, have a dodgy hug :grouphug:. I really feel for you. I definitely think that in July when he's over you need to sit him down and say what Glam suggested about needing to decorate the attic for DD etc. Definitely suggest that he stays with his twin so he can come and visit you, but that you won't be up to having him stay. It's not rude, or unreasonable. To be honest he may not have really thought it through, so needs it pointing out to him.

Becster- welcome. No idea on the US question, I'm afraid. There are certainly bargains to be had in the UK though, if you buy stuff when it's on offer or in the sale, take advantage of discount codes etc and of course check out car boots and NCT sales.

SuzyWuzy_2

Glamazon wrote: »

Girls - you can't have TAMI-FLU if you are pregnant! There is a different inhaled anti-viral that we need to have if needed.

Anyone with flu like symptoms should be treated as if it is swine flu, you can only catch it from someone if they are displaying symptoms. The incubation period is 3 days. If you get any symptoms whatsoever contact your GP ASAP as pg ladies are at risk so will be anti-virals immediately.

Hi Glam,

Thanks for that.

I don't know if you read my posts yesterday but DS came home with a letter to say Swine flu was in school and that he was displaying symptoms of it. I phoned my midwife who said I could have Tami flu although i read on the website that it wasnt suitable for pregnant ladies. She advised me to contact my G.P who said that they dont do anything unless temperatures go over 38.4 then and only then do they treat it. OH has now started with symptoms temperatures up but i doubt its THAT high. There seems to be lots of conflicting advice.

With a household of 2 adults and 4 children its going to spread round us all

Glamazon

hi becster - are you sure that things will be cheaper in the US? Bearing in mind how weak the pound is now?

Tia - that must be strange for you. Could the pain be baby trying to engage? (Not that I would know what that felt like!)

Helen - You might have bought it for a reduced rate but you still bought it and it's your house to do what you please in. My Dad was always, 'This is my house and you'll do what I say' but in your case it's YOUR house now for you and your family. Do what I suggested earlier but mention about staying in Leeds and then staying in Hotel when he comes to visit. Would you be in a position to offer to pay towards the cost of a night or two? It might sweeten the blow?

Harley - Glam=Tactful :rotfl: I'll have to show OH that!!!

FIL said 'If I won the lottery, we'd sell our house, sell your house and all move into a 7 bedroom mansion and live together' I turned around and said 'I don't think so!' :rotfl: Suffice to say I wasn't popular for the next 10 mins! But if they won the lottery, they could pay off our mortgage and buy a house NEAR us - I wouldn't mind that!