Am I too controlling over money?

Primrose

I'm very angry for you too julliff. He obviously deliberately decided to sneak in while you were at work and he put your daughter in a very difficult situation, i.e. effectively either allowing him to come in or having to bar her own father from coming into the house.
OK, so he had an excuse, i.e. allegedly needing to get a tool, but he probably had a good poke around in the process and that is definitely NOT ON AND A TOTAL INSTRUSION OF YOUR NEW PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. You'll have to point out to him that the rules have changed, and unfortunately point that out to your daughters too, that their father doesn't come into the house when you are not present.
If he can't be trusted not to observe these boundaries, you're going to have a real problem leaving the girls on their own as it's going to be difficult for them to have the confidence and the self assurance to enforce the rule.

Money_maker

Emmzi wrote: »

"I am glad when your dad wants to see you, as long as you want it too.

But me and your dad don't love each other any more.

For me, it's like inviting a stranger into our house. I will support him where I can because he's your dad and you care about him, but I am not at all comfortable with him being in our house - my home - when I am not here.

If this happens again, please tell him that I - not you - do not want him there when I am not home. You can be very clear that this is my decision. I have also told him this is my decision, and how I feel.

I know it is difficult for you, but it is difficult for me too. You are old enough to unerstand that this is my home, my safe place; and I need to be able to choose who comes into it."

Spot on. If he pushes it then ban him. Theres no way you want this to become a habit. It's now your house and your rules - you need to be comfortable in leaving paperwork etc. lying around without 'strangers' accessing them.

julliff

hi

Just wanted to update

Had a letter from my solicitor, and the consent form has been approved by the courts, whuch means my x can not make any further applications. This is brilliant news as it means that he can't come after me for any more money!

I can now apply for an absolute, which should take about 3 weeks.

It has been a long road, but we are nearly there!

It is my birthday today, and I remember so well my last birthday. In fact, I posted on another thread on that very day. I looked it up, and whilst it was upsetting to read, it makes me realise that things have got so much better, and hopefully will get better yet.
Even the cat is making progress!

This site, and all of the lovely folks here, have been very much a part of my achievement. So a huge thank you to you all, I am priveleged to have your kindness!

shell_girl

Happy Birthday Juliff,and well done. Have been cheering you on silently since the thread started, and am delighted that things are looking up x

Primrose

Happy Birthday Julliff - and what a nice birthday present to receive knowing that your future finances are now safe and secure from any further demands. This will go a long way to reassuring you that you can now make a secure future for yourself and your girls without any nasty surprises creeping out of the woodwork.

Yes, you have come a long way since a year ago. Whilst reading your earlier post must have been upsetting, you must feel very proud that you have survived such a turbulent journey and come through it. Hopefully anybody else in your situation will read your threads and be inspired to carry on. WELL DONE ! Let us all know when your 'absolute' comes through so that we can all raise a virtual glass to you. .

bertiebots

Thanks for the update ...... You are proof that things can get better and will be an inspiration to others I am sure.

Happy birthday and it is great to hear things are going well for your family at last!

InaPickle

:bdaycake: Happy birthday! :bdaycake:


Glad to know that you are doing well. Keep it up, and keep us posted.

P.S. You do know that you have the same birthday as MSE Martin, don't you?

Glitzkiss

Happy Birthday Juliff. I'm so glad this is a better birthday and may next years be better still :T:T:T

mommame

Happy Birthday Juliff,now change those locks.xx

MrsAnnie

Hope you are having a lovely birthday Julliff!

So pleased to hear that life is settling down for you. take care x