Needs must when the devil vomits into your kettle! Bob's cunning plan mark 2

boredofbeingathome

*Sheepish* well i rarely travel at 60 on motorways look..*cough*

But my car is economical even if it is a little demon on the roads...........


Stands back in admiration for resisting all those honking of horns and sticking to 60mph.

skint_spice

I didn't stick to sixty on the motorway either Bob but was forced to go slower on the other road hence the saving! My car is quite economical but would really love a diesel...

Rockingsurfer

BOB why does DH need a car as big as that just to go to work. I have a Corsa diesel, it couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding but when it eventually gets to 70 on a motorway it returns 55 MPG (with the air-con turned on).

Is the car really just transport or as with most men the size of the car is in inverse proportion to their manhood? Though having read this thread for the first time tonight his manhood / viewing habits seem to be a delicate subject

RS

boredofbeingathome

Rockingsurfer wrote: »

BOB why does DH need a car as big as that just to go to work. I have a Corsa diesel, it couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding but when it eventually gets to 70 on a motorway it returns 55 MPG (with the air-con turned on).

Is the car really just transport or as with most men the size of the car is in inverse proportion to their manhood? Though having read this thread for the first time tonight his manhood / viewing habits seem to be a delicate subject

RS

:rotfl::rotfl:

Well originally he bought it as a *family* car ( substitute i wanted a big shiny car for that one) He had his own business and it was tax deductable:rolleyes: Or so he convinced himself.:eek:Then he decided to go back on the cards and lost loads of dosh and had a large tax bill and out it all came. Now all he has left is his shiny substitute to polish:cool:

It has been a thorn in my side since,so i do focus on it a bit..plus i begrudge every bit of petrol that goes into it.

The other thing is that if he had the money he could hand the car back with no penalties now and buy one for cash. It does have nearly 90,000 on the clock so it would be a good option. I think though that he would have to now pay back arrears as he has an arrangement with them..would be bloody cheaper though.:D

OliveOyl_2

Boys and cars - beats me why they are so concerned with size and performance

My 12 year old Japanese hatchback is so cheap to run, but Popeye and DS1 spend hourse researching a replacement for me.

And when I go out to join him, Popeye is giving me his ruddy great 4-wheel drive and buying himself a bluddy massive 4 wheel drive with bells and whistles :rotfl: Macho cars are SO important.

boredofbeingathome

I just keep thinking of macho man on the film in and out now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVWHQqEyiLI

i prefer this clip it is my favourite.

boredofbeingathome

Urrgh! Here i am at dumb o'clock and weirdly enough having a bit of an epiphany.All thanks to the fact that i can't sleep due to silly tablets, but it has afforded me some thinking time.

I have banged on about Mr.B's car and i suppose it is because that is the moment i can pinpoint for all our current troubles.:o
Yep, stupid human vanity and wanting it now, oh and the old adage "I work hard therefore i deserve it." It is the reason for my sleepless nights, and for the fact that in the four years since he bought it i have to admit that it has helped put a nail in the coffin of our marriage. The strain is constant and i think that is the problem with this debt. In the past we grew closer as we overcame previous debts and managed to have savings, pay for our oldest daughter's marriage and then dare to have plans for at least a house with more than one bathroom.

Then the car came in, i watched him justify the expense, pay out for costly services, the best tyres( i even hate the bloody tyres)..work all hours away from home with the business. He would then put the expenses on Credit card, petrol etc and not pay it off when the money came in for it. Always kidding himself and us that he could handle it, that we had overcome debt before and yes we would do it again.

I think that's where the rot set in, when he got it on the pretense of test driving for a day during a family party then came back with it signed for. I felt obliged to trade in my old car for it ( save face and accept gracefully i thought at the time) Stupidly i carried on, papering over the cracks keeping up the pretense..oh yes we must be doing well etc.

So i can see a pattern and for some reason i kept kicking myself for, i kept thinking that i would be able to get over it and pay off the debt...but i felt that my legs were constantly being kicked out from under me. Stupid eh?


So i start a diary and make it about my debt, when really i should have made it about the whole debt..but i couldn't because psychologically i felt it wasn't mine. After all i had cleared up debt in the past and why should i do it again? Then i would feel guilty, until the next undermining bit happened and off we go again.

The weird thing is that in writing my diaries, i have gained some valuable experiences and some wonderful and wacky ways to save money. I have found some lovely folk who are very supportive and don't seem to mind my ramblings and rantings..in a way it is cheap therapy ( at least there are no spends)

I have honestly thought at times how dark and demeaning debt is. I have watched things slip away from me, moments in time that i will not get back because they were lost in bitterness and anger. I have no doubt that i will be angry for a long time yet, but at least i can face up to that emotion and recognise it now for what it is. I am embarrassed by admitting it, sad that it came to that and would hope that i could salvage something out of it all. I don't know if i will come out unscathed at the other end, i certainly won't walk out of a situation where there is a debt to be cleared.

I just wanted to get it out there, name it and claim it for what it is.


As i said in the title of this late night confessional..never take panadol extra..it has made me think a bit. ( see i am good at blaming other things for emotions)
Hopefully i will get some sleep now..Bob x

shaun40400

morning bob ,,
tis good that you have identified your demon...the car,,,

i watched him justify the expense,

where as now you would say no!!!

He would then put the expenses on Credit card, petrol etc and not pay it off when the money came in for it. Always kidding himself and us that he could handle it,

where as now you would handle it for him,,,not pay it for him ,,,,

I felt obliged to trade in my old car for it ( save face and accept gracefully i thought at the time) Stupidly i carried on, papering over the cracks keeping up the pretense..oh yes we must be doing well etc.

where as now you know better,,,and would talk about it

but i felt that my legs were constantly being kicked out from under me. Stupid eh?

not stupid bob ,,,nieve[sp] ,,,,we have all been their,got the t-shirt

So i start a diary and make it about my debt,

baby steps

The weird thing is that in writing my diaries, i have gained some valuable experiences

bigger steps

i have honestly thought at times how dark and demeaning debt is. I have watched things slip away from me, moments in time that i will not get back because they were lost in bitterness and anger.

building blocks of life,,,a hard life,,,but still a life

I just wanted to get it out there, name it and claim it for what it is.

big strides in the right direction

oh bob
sometimes we need to review our life to make sense of where we come from and where we are going to..
life is marathon not a sprint race,,,and your nearly half way their ,,,and guess what after the halfway point , its all down hill to the finish line,,,,you've just got to work your way to the half way point and peep over the next hill to see it!!
:grouphug:
s x x

In_Search_Of_Me

In haste but couldnt post n run...good of ryou having a think! Isoke sends you a huge pur and I send a hug along with a suggestion that councelling may help? While its painful and challengng (if you get a good one) it does help sift and sort feelings in a way you cant do with friends cos theyre biased...just a thought. Another thought is what emotional damage is caused to you and marriage with the spending differences and at what stage does mr bob realise that its having such a devastating effect? My heart goes out to you accross the miles as can feel the pain, exasperation and frustration...as for the car maybe this could beceome a symbol of his commitment by getting shot of it...sounds v expensive to run (Ido loads of miles at work and never put that much in - nissan micra) and a huge cause of tension by the sound of it?!

skint_spice

It sounds as if he's stuck with it for now Bob, can you get him to sit down with you and work out a plan to get a replacement so you can see an end to the expense in sight?