A new start for Mooloo

Kimitatsu

I have no girls so I cant comment but I think with boys they just dont engage their brain before they open their mouth :eek: I know my DS1 (who is only 13) is already 5ft 9 and taller than me, but he doesnt have the verbal skills to point out that he is having a bad day or feels lousy etc etc etc and doesnt want to seem to be failing in any area if you see what I mean.

He will shout, I ignore him until he calms down and then he thinks about it and is mortified......its a tricky balance not to bite some days but to be able to calmly and rationally have a conversation about their behaviour and the consequences to that behaviour.

For me, the dogs walks some days get longer as I stamp out my frustrations :rotfl:but breathe deeply Mooloo lol!

Savvy_sewing

welshcamper wrote: »

hi mooloo, hope you dont mind me popping in...read this thread in several hours last weekend and think youve done brilliantly!

on the "boys" subject...i have 3, ages 22, 21, 19.

eldest one is ok sorted himself out (house, getting married)

the other 2, who are 6ft4, all i can say is aghhhhhhhhhh i have no advice for you because im having same problems with my own and i too think it is from having no fatherly influence since the age of 10, no one to back me up etc.

wishing you all the best...must dash to take son no 3 to agency to see if he can get any work...that is if he is ready on time!

hello and welcome to another life in caos!

I hope that your son was ready when necessary this morning.

DS has never really had his dad around. He used to go to him alternate weekends for a while but when he didntwant to go and live with his dad in 2006, its been decidedly haphazard.

I hope that reading my thread hasnt sent you over the edge! Cos it sends me at times!!

Savvy_sewing

Kimitatsu wrote: »

I have no girls so I cant comment but I think with boys they just dont engage their brain before they open their mouth :eek: I know my DS1 (who is only 13) is already 5ft 9 and taller than me, but he doesnt have the verbal skills to point out that he is having a bad day or feels lousy etc etc etc and doesnt want to seem to be failing in any area if you see what I mean.

He will shout, I ignore him until he calms down and then he thinks about it and is mortified......its a tricky balance not to bite some days but to be able to calmly and rationally have a conversation about their behaviour and the consequences to that behaviour.

For me, the dogs walks some days get longer as I stamp out my frustrations :rotfl:but breathe deeply Mooloo lol!

Alas I have no dog to walk anymore. (had to give him up to take on the grandchildren) and no I couldnt walk myself!!!

I like to hide in a deep bath, but with only DGD most of the time its not possible, or very safe really.
Ah well, I will just have to survive and remember, Onwards and Upwards. xx

Savvy_sewing

Well we are on a later start today, I am taking my time.
DGD drove me to distraction last night, and I was in bed 5 minutes after she was, at 7pm!
She woke at 2am having lost her dummy on the floor, so I put her on the potty and put her back to bed at the same time. Then she went back to sleep until 7am. I took my tablets again at 2am, and that helped me to sleep better. So I have had a long nights sleeping, be it interupted to go to the loo and sort her out.
We have been sitting in my bedroom, where it is warmest, watching childrens TV, and I have been writing in my diary. I have had to start another note book, as the last one had finished last night.
I am trying to look at all the positives for the new house, as yesterday I was so down and stressed that I didnt want to move!
I didnt feel i could place myself in this new house. I felt too distant from it. Of course at the moment its such a dump who would want to live in it. But of course I do know that the council will turn it around, and it will be habitable by the time I next get to see it, or at least get to view it internally.
DS has been away from home for a week now, and I suppose just seeing him fleetingly has not helped.
I am to collect him today, to come and sort out the shed. Originally arranged for Tuesday.
I hope he doesnt let me down today.
He is bringing one of his friends. (alas a lad I do not like), and that will mean that he will be expecting to go back with him as well.
I am feeling somewhat isolated at the moment. Dont know why as I am no different then before.? My Mum is on the MSN and visited them only yesterday.?
Why I should be feeling this was is a mystery to me.
Just going to get DGD a drink.

Errata

Just a quickie. Moving house is one of life's biggest stressors and sometimes it stirs up all kinds of psychic rubble. Plus families are good at driving mums up the wall. Your emotions are natural, but very manageable. Just think of where you will be / want to be in 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years time and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Savvy_sewing

Errata wrote: »

Just a quickie. Moving house is one of life's biggest stressors and sometimes it stirs up all kinds of psychic rubble. Plus families are good at driving mums up the wall. Your emotions are natural, but very manageable. Just think of where you will be / want to be in 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 years time and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This morning, I have taken the morningvery slowly. Infact I will probably be late picking up DS.

I spent the time focusing on the positives that will help when I am in the new house.
The facts that will be easier to manage, DS can get Buses, so less driving.
There is a bedroom upstairs for him, so I won't have to walk through his mess every day!
That the garden is huge, and can be planted up and divided into a Play area, sitting area, and if I am well enough, a vegetable plot again.
That the front garden will give us a little distance from the road, and has a gate, so if the door is open, DGD cannot step infront of a landrover!
That I will be able to paint and decorate it, to my choice, and my pocket.
That I can put pictures where I want to.
That the doctors is opposite.
There is a nursery on the same road.
There is a swimming pool somewhere near by.
That we are close to the bus route.

And the biggest Plus of all, is that Molly only lives about 5 minutes away by car, and 20 walking.

So this morning, I have 30 days to get the house decluttered.
Then when the date is confirmed, the removal men can come in and pack the rest of the stuff up, and then take it to the new place for me. I can hang on to the boxes until I am ready to return them. So if he uses the wardrobe ones, My clothes can stay hung up until I can get a wardrobe for us.

So there, you see, I can think positively.

I shouldnt be stressed,.I should be excited.
I usually am in a buzz when I get to know I am on the move, and looking forward not back. There was some regret at leaving the last house, and coming here, but becuase the family was going there seperate ways, and I had hoped that it would have been a good place for us all. (It would have been if the kids had not rebelled).

Anyway, I am on the move.
We will make the best of it.
I just need to stay focused. Positive and try not to stress.

welshcamper

good morning mooloo:)

sorry to hear your feeling a bit topsy turvy this morning:(

I hated moving (and boy did i move a lot)but been here for 8 years now yay..

just think of your brand new house and garden, unpacked, with your christmas decorations up and your grandaughters face when she see them. and how much easier it will be for you with all the facilities nearby.

i had a bit of a bad day yesterday..had to throw the boys out..came to a head..i knew it would..i feel really guilty but cant take anymore..didnt have much sleep as youngest son treatened to break my windows and doors but all was peaceful..me and my 6 year old daughter are going shopping now i seem to have run out of everything even milk and bread lol.

take care mooloo and hope you will start to feel more positive as the day goes on.:)

Molly41

Mooloo wrote: »

I am feeling somewhat isolated at the moment. Dont know why as I am no different then before.? My Mum is on the MSN and visited them only yesterday.?
Why I should be feeling this was is a mystery to me.
Just going to get DGD a drink.

Im sorry that I have not been able to get over to see you as planned yesterday. I hope that's not adding to your isolation? Im so frustrated as I have been so incapacitated this week:mad:

Hugs my friend - am thinking about you x

Savvy_sewing

welshcamper wrote: »

good morning mooloo:)

sorry to hear your feeling a bit topsy turvy this morning:(

I hated moving (and boy did i move a lot)but been here for 8 years now yay..

just think of your brand new house and garden, unpacked, with your christmas decorations up and your grandaughters face when she see them. and how much easier it will be for you with all the facilities nearby.

i had a bit of a bad day yesterday..had to throw the boys out..came to a head..i knew it would..i feel really guilty but cant take anymore..didnt have much sleep as youngest son treatened to break my windows and doors but all was peaceful..me and my 6 year old daughter are going shopping now i seem to have run out of everything even milk and bread lol.

take care mooloo and hope you will start to feel more positive as the day goes on.:)

hello Welshcamper,
I am sorry to hear that the boys are giving you so much grief. I sometimes forget that everyone has problems and its not justme.
My little world sometimes is just such a huge place to be.
Thankyou for posting. It makes me realise that there are so many of us with major issues daily!.

I hope that your shopping trip was successful. x

Savvy_sewing

Molly41 wrote: »

Im sorry that I have not been able to get over to see you as planned yesterday. I hope that's not adding to your isolation? Im so frustrated as I have been so incapacitated this week:mad:

Hugs my friend - am thinking about you x

Oh you mustn't blame yourself. I just feel detached from my family.
The move will take me further away, in some ways, but will probably bring me closer in the fact that its a dual carriage way 90% of the way, and that there is a partial bus service that they could use. (if they ever have the funds!!).

Today I have been invaded by DS and 2 of his mates.
They were collected around 10.30 as I had to detour after an accident in the road near fulcote.
We took two trips to the tip with junk from the shed. There are a couple of plastic boxes with a few books left to sort through.
That is the sum total of thier work.
We did a pizza and some chips for lunch.,
Now they are staying the night.! Well it saves me another drive today I suppose, but it also means that I have to make a meal later for us all! My left over chilli wont stretch to three strapping lads!

Cannot say I am isolated today!! Though inside I still feel "vunerable", weird feeling, as I have never felt that way before.

I am trying toget the boy to cleanout the car for me. AS it really is a mess.

DGD is painting at the coffee table. She is covered in Paint, as she keeps painting her hands. One of the lads is painting with her now!

Going to go and move the car down.