A new start for Mooloo

Savvy_sewing

minimoneysaver wrote: »

Is he still attending college?

he went last week. this week its halfterm I believe. so he wont get any EMA funding next week.
I shall have to get my dad to have a word with him. I cannot think of anyone else he might listen too?
Its difficult when he has had so much freedom, as he got when he was living in Oxford. Without a stable father around its not helped him or me at all.

Take a deep breath and try and calm myself down.
I will just have to think about finding a way to get through to him that he is wanted as well as needed at home. (Well he is when I am not angry with him).
I will just have to sort myself out, and get help from other sources so that I dont have to ask him for help.
I just find it so alein to me. As I have always done everything I ever could for others, I cannot see how he is not even slightly like me.
Even his father, who is not my favourite person was helpful to others.

Kimitatsu

Mooloo wrote: »

he went last week. this week its halfterm I believe. so he wont get any EMA funding next week.
I shall have to get my dad to have a word with him. I cannot think of anyone else he might listen too?
Its difficult when he has had so much freedom, as he got when he was living in Oxford. Without a stable father around its not helped him or me at all.

Take a deep breath and try and calm myself down.
I will just have to think about finding a way to get through to him that he is wanted as well as needed at home. (Well he is when I am not angry with him).
I will just have to sort myself out, and get help from other sources so that I dont have to ask him for help.
I just find it so alein to me. As I have always done everything I ever could for others, I cannot see how he is not even slightly like me.
Even his father, who is not my favourite person was helpful to others.

There is a really good book Mooloo called raising boys - you can get it from the library. It highlights some really good ways to get through to boys and dealing with their confrontations without reflecting their attittude back at them.

Its never easy, I say I have two teenagers and a DH going through a mid life crisis so I can fully sympathise. Without the dogs I would be outnumbered!!

Savvy_sewing

Kimitatsu wrote: »

There is a really good book Mooloo called raising boys - you can get it from the library. It highlights some really good ways to get through to boys and dealing with their confrontations without reflecting their attittude back at them.

Its never easy, I say I have two teenagers and a DH going through a mid life crisis so I can fully sympathise. Without the dogs I would be outnumbered!!

And I thought that bringing up the twins was hard enough!

Keeping_Motivated

Mooloo I sympathise that it is hard dealing with DS but I don't see why your day will be turned upside down by him tomorrow? If he changes the arrangements then speaks to you with such disrepect on the phone then it is simple you do not pick him up tomorrow!

jackieglasgow

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph - its a great book, Mooloo, it will open your eyes. He talks a lot of sense.

Savvy_sewing

Keeping_Motivated wrote: »

Mooloo I sympathise that it is hard dealing with DS but I don't see why your day will be turned upside down by him tomorrow? If he changes the arrangements then speaks to you with such disrepect on the phone then it is simple you do not pick him up tomorrow!

I was supposed to be picking him up for my benefit, for him to sort out the room his stuff is all in, and the shed.
I need to have the place sorted out, as I will have to allow people to view the house for renting! EEK, and declutter ready for the men to be able to just pack what i am taking.
I dont want to take rubbish/clutter with me, and I wont have the space anyway. It seems pointless trying to shoe horn all of this stuff into the next house. I want to start off with a clean tidy place, not a continued junk yard.
But I have just been thinking that in the long run, I will leave it until Thursday. Then I can get him to come over at my convenience!
(and he will have to wait for his DJhero that he rang me at 5 oclock and wanted me to take to him! I refused as I was already on route anyway).
I will have to get that book.

Savvy_sewing

jackieglasgow wrote: »

Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph - its a great book, Mooloo, it will open your eyes. He talks a lot of sense.

I just ordered a second hand copy, with postage its £3.23. Should be with me by the end of the week. So I have some weekend reading.

Savvy_Sue

Honestly, these boys! Just keep strong, and don't take any lip.

Savvy_sewing

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Honestly, these boys! Just keep strong, and don't take any lip.

Thats the trouble with him at the moment. He raises his voice at me all the time. If I ask questions the he shouts at me. as he is over 6ft tall, its very dsisconcerting.
I get very frustrated with him dispite trying to be fair.
I am overly generous and fair. I have done far too much for the family all my life, and they take me for granted, so I suppose at the end of the day its my own fault. I am not ascertive enough!.

I am trying to be more ascertive without loosing my rag.

Todays plans are already changing. Thats the way my life goes.

I am off to check the bank balances, then top up my mobile phone. The package I was on ran out last night.

welshcamper

hi mooloo, hope you dont mind me popping in...read this thread in several hours last weekend and think youve done brilliantly!

on the "boys" subject...i have 3, ages 22, 21, 19.

eldest one is ok sorted himself out (house, getting married)

the other 2, who are 6ft4, all i can say is aghhhhhhhhhh i have no advice for you because im having same problems with my own and i too think it is from having no fatherly influence since the age of 10, no one to back me up etc.

wishing you all the best...must dash to take son no 3 to agency to see if he can get any work...that is if he is ready on time!